Thread:The Pop Cult Gamer/@comment-4319402-20161111022313/@comment-4797643-20161224095154

I apologize for the strong language and adult humor. If you want, you can censor out any bad words, CJ?

A Message To The Sonic Fanbase Who Knew Me Back Then On DeviantART Part I

Introduction
Please listen to the following music as you read further: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIQ8Mha5UpU Please do not be alarmed, I am YoshiWii1. This message is for those who originally knew me back then when I was on deviantART through 2013-2014 (although I created my account in 2012, I didn’t become regularly active until the beginning of 2013.) Back in September of 2014, I left deviantART after so much harassment. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was already depressed back then because of the hardships in my life such as not being able to get a job, originally thinking I was unpopular but I was proved to be dead wrong as people love and care about me very much in real-life and because I felt so different from other people because I have Asperger’s. But got much, much worse since the Sonic fanbase’s harassment. I feel this essay is too long to explain at all one time? So instead, I am going to divide it into parts. Please listen to the next music as you read further: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LFVQpDKHk4

sonic93 and Amy-chan
sonic93 and Amy-chan made rant videos about me shortly before I left deviantART. They were up for a year and are now private to where only they can see it. I explained to them everything. They forgive me and I forgave them. Since then, we have actually become cool and we became friends! I talk to them time to time.

Years before deviantART, a history of my struggles with life
You guys are probably wondering why I am talking about this? Because of the Internet constantly poking fun at Autism like saying “it’s cancerous”, “they are f*cking retards”, etc. It depresses me because I feel like I am a defective human bring and that I am a failure. Having Asperger’s and Autism was not easy for me back then as I had behavioral problems such as difficultly following rules, getting too emotional and not having the same capabilities as my peers such as motor skills, being able to follow along with the class, being organized, etc. I am not saying that what I did in the past is acceptable because I have Autism, because it wasn’t. It was just more difficult to do certain things because I was younger. I was disciplined as a kid such being spanked and been locked in my room as a punishment. But even then, it was still difficult for me to always listen.

In 1997, I was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 3. I would often throw tantrums and cry because I got frustrated because I wanted to say something but couldn’t. My mom noticed that I was not speaking fluently like everyone else my age at the time. She took me to the physician and they diagnosed me with Autism.

In 1999, I was introduced to Sonic the Hedgehog by my other cousin who owned a Dreamcast. I loved Sonic Adventure and became a Sonic fan since until 2016. I will explain why I quit the Sonic series later on.

Starting from 1999-2006, I would have occasional problems at school. From Kindergarten and 1st Grade, I would sometimes cry whenever I got in trouble and have had difficultly obeying rules. In 2nd Grade, my teacher made a behavior card for me that she would fill out everyday on a sticky note. She would say good things I did in the day or bad things I did in the day. In 3rd Grade, I got considerably better. In 4th Grade, I got even better. In 5th Grade however, this is when I was slacking a bit with academics. I would frequently forget to turn in homework assignments and I would fall behind. The same thing happened in 6th Grade. To this day, I still don’t know why I was like that?

In 7th Grade however, is when my life started becoming more serious and darker. I couldn’t go to the same school as all my friends were originally and I would mope around and be depressed at this new school. I was also diagnosed with Asperger’s too. Later on, I was diagnosed with a disappointment disorder. In my 7th and 8th Grade English class, I would often laugh all the time and I remember the teacher would often sent me outside to get it all out.

In 9th Grade, is when I was starting to get bullied. I often worried about running into my bullies at my school that I would try to hide from them.

In 10th Grade in the 2009-2010 school year, it got worse because I was threatened by another classmate and was afraid to go school that I developed Anxiety. That is actually how it all started with my Anxiety! I would be so worried, stressed and anxious that I would throw up! My anxiety was so bad to where I couldn’t even leave the house. And even in my own house I was anxious! I went to consoling and I took Zoloft for cure it. It worked and I have continued to take Zoloft since.

In the 2010-2011 school year. Transferred schools and became happy once again.

But in the 2011-12 school year, my senior year of high school. Although I was still happy, I became a bit of a vindictive hater. Yes, that’s right. I was once a hatebrat myself! When Marvel VS Capcom 3 came out, I was disappointed over Mega Man and a few other Marvel characters not getting in and hoping he would be DLC. There was a few trolls who trolled me and a few others on that page over because they were mad that Mega Man wasn’t in. But then later on, Capcom released Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3 with it being a separate disc rather than DLC. I was so upset that there was still no Mega Man nor the Marvel characters I wanted that I became vindictive and immature like those trolls originally and started spamming the FaceBook page of Marvel VS Capcom 3. In the beginning of 2012, I stopped spamming it.

Then in the later half of 2012, Arthur got new animation and I often ranted about it on the Arthur Wiki originally causing me to get temporarily banned. I returned later and apologized for my ranting and realized how much of a fool I was making myself into. They forgave me and we put it behind us.

You can say the reason why I was always calling out haters going on things that hate to write negative comments and ranters in general is because I didn’t want them to repeat the same mistakes I once did. It was all with good intentions. The thing with haters is I have been told by many adults as when I was younger not to go on things I hate to write negative things because it is immature and juvenile.

Again, I am not blaming actions I committed in the past on Autism. I just saying that when I was much younger, it was more difficult for me to do the same things as my peers. But I take full responsibility for what I did with the Marvel VS Capcom 3 and Arthur Wiki. I was just immature and vindictive back in those times.

Post-High School Life
Please listen to the next song as you continue reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=025mnKFUFw4

Since I graduated from high school in Class of 2012. My life started going downhill. My transition from being a kid to a legal adult has proved to be very hard. It was so difficult for me to get a job and it still is today. I wanted a job so badly but no place would hire me. I got an occasional interview but no luck. My mom didn’t want me to get a job while I was still in high school because it would have interfered with my school work.

With people liking me, I originally thought back then that people didn’t like me because I wasn’t a partier, smoker, drinker, druggie, etc. and because I was a Christian. But I was dead wrong about it, it turns out that people absolutely love and care about me in real-life. I am very well-respected in real-life. I am the favorite at my Karaoke place and I made it as a finalist in a Karaoke Contest in the county. Unfortunately, I didn’t to the final finals. None of my friends did either. I felt discouraged as if I wasn’t good enough and made me think about what happened to me on deviantART about my art. It made me feel like I failed as a Karaoke singer just like how I felt like I failed as an artist.

Some people I know say it’s just hormones with my depression, anxiety and fear because I am quite young and in my very early 20’s.

How I created my Adult Amy redesign
In the second half of 2012, I created a deviantART account but I wasn’t really active on it until the beginning of 2013. In the beginning of 2013, I searched up Sonic fanart and I discovered on the most favorited ones that had the characters redesigned as adults. I grew up with the characters and I really liked the idea of the Sonic cast growing up with me. Sonic has been 15 since I was 4! When I saw their Adult Amy redesigns, I was completely dumbfounded and blown away by how beautiful they were. I liked them so much that it inspired me to write and draw my Adult redesigns. They can be viewed in here:

http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:YoshiWii1/Sonic,_Amy_and_Sonamy_related_art_by_YoshiWii1

This was one of my first Adult Amy drawings: http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/sonic/images/7/74/Amy_Miiverse_-_PNG.png/revision/latest?cb=20131120211339

^^As you can see here, she is 21, 5ft 5in and weight is unknown. The Equilbrium Sketch Adult Amy was a prototype and it changed into what you see in Miiverse. Same with the Adult Sonic one. The Equilibrium sketch was a prototype of Adult Sonic before he evolved into the Miiverse drawings.

Before I discovered Adult Amy redesigns, I disliked Amy as a character. But because I liked her Adult redesigns so much, I began appreciating the character in general. I knew it was wrong to like the Sega Amy and I don’t because it is 12. Just because I fawned over Adult Amy’s including my own doesn’t mean I like the Sega Amy. I am currently redoing my Adult Amy redesign but it is still incomplete:

http://thepopcultgamer.tumblr.com/post/145323015717/this-is-a-wip-of-my-adult-amy-rose-redesign-its

If you notice here when it explains her biography, she is currently 25 instead of 21 like in the old Miiverse drawing. I wanted to have more realistic, like-life writing and setting for my redesigns. Such as aging them up by a year every year to make things more realistic. I also have the characters live in a more realistic setting as well.

My old fan fiction series and my OC
Equilibrium was an old fan fiction series I made but never finished because I just got lazy. The main character was modeled after and named after me. I also modeled him after Strider Hiryu, Dante from the Devil May Cry series and Ichigo Kurosaki from Bleach. The character does share powers from Ichigo but with a few differences and had abilities that Ichigo didn’t have like he has some of Dante’s abilities too (think how Deadpool uses guns and a sword.) The Bankai’s pattern on the sword-holder is slightly different than Ichigo’s. Unlike Ichigo, Brandon stays in human form at all times where Ichigo had to change into Shinigami form whenever he want into battle while he placed a mod soul (an artificial person) into his human body. Whenever Brandon would use his Hollowfied Bankai’s Getsutenso, his sword would return to it’s Shikai (aka standard) form. While Ichigo’s would still stay in Bankai form. Another thing too, I was accused of being is schizophrenic by the Sonic fanbase because my character resembled me. Just because I modeled a fictional character after me doesn’t mean that I am schizophrenic. There are lots of fictional characters who were modeled after real-life people. Fred Flintstone was modeled after Jackie Gleason, Yogi Bear was modeled after Andy Griffith, the Simpsons were modeled and named after Matt Groening’s own family (except he didn’t name Bart, Matt because it would be “too obvious.”) Before I created the character, everyone seemed to have an OC of their own and I didn’t want to be left out. Since then, I retired this character. And continued with my Adult Sonic and Amy redesigns instead.

Old Selfies
Back then when I had animish, spiked hair. I would act all serious in it and not smile. I intentionally did this because I thought it was cool and I wanted people to think I was cool. I still take selfies but now, I smile in all of them!

Anime hair may sound cool on paper but in reality, it’s impossible to pull it off. The only way you can do it is if you have a wig for cosplay.

Since June of 2015, I retired the animish-spiky hair and changed it to a 90’s Curtained style similar to Nick Carter from The Backstreet Boys. I had this hairstyle from the mid/late 90’s-early 2000’s.

This is how I look now:

http://thepopcultgamer.tumblr.com/post/150873602922/i-wanted-to-try-out-something-with-my-iphone6s

Furry Meme Controversy
Please listen to the next song as you read further: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A4a3mplXPo

The infamous Furry Meme that I made when I was still 19 was one of the most controversial things I ever made. People believed the meme was real. But it really wasn’t. I intended to be a funny, satirical meme where I joke and exaggerate like those funny Top Ten videos you see people do on YouTube similar to AVGN and Nostalgia Critic. I acknowledge the controversy and I am going to clear up a few misunderstandings.

With the Tenth choice being Blaze the Cat. I couldn’t use another user’s Adult Blaze redesigns because that was against dA’s rules. But because I couldn’t create an Adult Blaze redesign at the time. I had to use the Official Sega Blaze design instead because the meme required you paste a picture in your choices. In the description, I meant to be fawning over Adult Blaze redesign features. But because of the way I typed it, it could be interpreted that I like the Sega Blaze. I don’t for real and I apologize if it could be interpreted as such?

The 9th choice was Arthur’s mom, Jane Read. It’s a joke in the Arthur fandom that the mom is a “milf.” I have even seen YouTube comments on various Arthur episodes where people in the comments brag about how “fine” the mom is. I remember reading an Arthur book back in Elementary School where it showed Arthur’s mom taking a shower (they only showed her head.) The “The mom taking a shower is freaking awesome!” part was a joke I stole from the Angry Video Game Nerd. Here’s where I got it from, skip to 4:39:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fz92prJ3XlM

With the My Little Pony choices, I meant to be fawning over anthro/human designs of the ponies that other bronies made. I do not like the Equestria Girl designs because they are still in high school. I had to use the official pony forms because like the Blaze one, I didn’t create my own human/Anthro redesigns of the ponies except Fluttershy which was a Miiverse drawing done in black and white. Lauren Fraust confirmed that the Mane 6 are young adults that “are still a bit mentally immature.” The Equestria Girls universe is a different universe in the show because Twilight actually has to go through a portal and becomes younger in a high school world where they are humans. They aren’t Equestria Girls forms are not the same age as the ponies in the ponies universe. I apologize for joking around about the ponies butts and them wearing clothes. I don’t like the normal pony forms for real and I don’t like the Equestria Girls forms either.

On the Rarity choice, there was also a misunderstanding when I said human Rarities resemble my mom. Just because I said that doesn’t mean I have a crush on my mom. People often tell me in real-life how “beautiful” my mom is. I just simply say “Okay.”

Now on my Adult Amy choice, I remember a person in the comments asked me why I used that particular picture of Amy on the meme. I explained to him that is was my Adult Amy redesign and that I don’t like the Sega Amy because it’s 12. He said “It’s a good thing that you don’t like that design.” There was also a misunderstanding in the end. What I meant by “But I like her the way she is.” I meant it as in “Despite me fawning over my Adult Amy redesign and not the Sega design. I still like her a character in general.”

Another thing too with the choices is that I also explained why the characters are good characters in general. If it could be interpreted that I like the Sega designs by me saying that, I don’t and I apologize.

Look, I didn’t mean to scare anyone with that meme. I was just trying to be funny just like in my Karaoke videos I will be showing you in just a little bit.

Everyone in real-life and on the Internet has all told me that I shouldn’t beat myself up over it and it wasn’t a big deal because it’s fictional characters. Even the main administrator of the Sonic Wiki said that Sonic fans “overreacted and acted like it was never taken down. They wanted something to talk about.” And everyone knew I was joking about the meme in real-life.

About a month and a half ago, I was hanging out with my friend who does Hookah (I don’t do hookah.) Her friends were jokesters and they told me to watch the infamous Shrek is Love video. I watched two minutes of it and I was seriously disturbed by it that I shut off the video. Her friends were laughing. I was complaining about the video. My friend thought the video was gross and unfunny but she said that “Shrek is a fictional character. No one was violated or harmed. You can’t take it so literal or personal.”

Come to think of it? I noticed that ever since I left deviantART. I have become overreactive and take jokes and run with it. I ended up getting banned from the Slums of Elwood, the Arthur Forum because I kept taking their jokes too seriously and because I was talking about what happened back on deviantART too much. The admins were like “it’s all a thing of the past” and “they are being overreactive and vindictive.”

That Adult Amy redraw is taking me a long time and I admit that I am becoming a bit OCD with the quality. It’s not just drawing but pretty much everything in general. Everyone would cheer me when I finish a Karaoke song and after I walk off stage. I would point any kind of mistake or wrong note I made in the song. They don’t notice it and tell me “it’s Karaoke, who cares?”

My Acting
Like I mentioned above about my Karaoke videos. Here are some of my Karaoke videos where I act silly:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrQHp5xdzNE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v6CejSTXYI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqhuF8lgeL0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhY0dXjxVl0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNY4VLVLup0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKxckPgwlz8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObsQVjjrg54 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aSOVz9ZLoc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvs2opI0w-0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilwowg1C17A https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKZsofp_sm4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S0BUcNcnEc

I am not in the mosh-pit video. I was filming it and the singer of the band said that they should have a mosh pit. You can’t hear me laughing behind the camera because the music is so loud. The people in the video weren’t hurting each other for real. They were just playing around and I thought it was hilarious when the guy fell backwards! I almost got hit by him!

In the last video, I actually told the DJ to yell at me before hand when I take off my flannel. I also imitated Beavis and Butt-Head when they sing Iron Man by Black Sabbath and I imitated Ren from Ren and Stimpy when he laughs.

I enjoy acting as I have helped my mom audition for acting roles. Every time I help her, she usually ends up getting the role. There was one role where I had to play an angry, psychotic woman who was a potty-mouth. There was also another one where I had to fake a seizure off-screen and I pretended to gag.

You may not believe what you are about to see. But I made a cameo on Hell’s Kitchen’s Season 13 Finale when I cheered on the winner and I got sprayed with Shampine. I am the one with the purple formal, long sleeve shirt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k6pVjbPGOM

I wish to be a part-time actor someday. I really like to make people laugh.

Part II coming in a few days
In Part II, I will be explaining what people in real-life tell me about my ideas and not to give up on them. I will also be explaining how I feel personally about the all the harassment and hate I got from the Sonic fanbase. My fears, my self-esteem, my friendship with Klaudy-na, fawning over my Adult redesign and other Adult redesigns, an Art Gift and the whole SonAmy ordeal.

Songs Used
1) Resident Evil - Safe Haven (1996)

2) Nirvana - All Apologies (1993)

3) Pantera - Planet Caravan (1994)

4) Pearl Jam - Jeremy (1991)