D.W. All Wet (episode)/Transcript

[At Bear Lake, Mr. Read is carrying D.W. toward the water. Arthur, Buster, and Mrs. Read follow.]

D.W.: I don't want to go to the lake! Put me down! No! Nooooo! Let me go! [screams and cries]

Arthur: Sorry about this. D.W.'s been acting a little weird lately.

Buster: What do you mean "lately"? She's always weird.

Arthur: I meant more than usual—ever since that day she went to the aquarium with her play group.

D.W.: Arthur, save me! [takes his glasses and continues crying]

[Intertitle shows.]

Announcer: Welcome to the aquarium.

[D.W. and her play group cheer and applaud. A dolphin jumps through some hoops, and some seals play with a ball and hit it into a basketball hoop. The dolphin jumps high out of the water and kisses its trainer standing on a tall platform above the water. It falls on its back, splashing the kids in the front row.]

Announcer: Any questions?

D.W.: Uh, where do they go to the bathroom?

[The other kids murmur inquisitively.]

Announcer: In the water, where they live.

[The kids laugh and say "Ew!"]

Woman: Now, before you go, be sure and visit our Hall of Sea Monsters, especially... the shark!

Ms. Morgan: Speaking of bathrooms...

[In the bathroom, the preschoolers are playing around with soap and toilet paper.]

Emily: Hey, look at this! It flushes by itself!

[The preschoolers run into the stall, saying, "Let me see!"]

D.W.: When do we see the shark?

Ms. Morgan: Soon. Hurry up, kids! You don't want to spend the whole day in the bathroom!

Preschooler: Yes, we do!

Speaker: Attention, please. Don't miss the Hall of Sea Monsters, home of the most monstrous monsters in the world! Prepare to lose your mind with fear!

[The preschoolers run out excitedly. In the Hall of Sea Monsters, an eel swims past the glass, startling everyone but D.W.]

D.W.: Don't be scared. It's only an eel.

Kyle: Look, it's a shark!

Tommy: Oh, no! Did you hear that?

[The shark swims up to the glass. Everyone but D.W. screams and cowers. D.W. makes faces at the shark.]

D.W.: Nyah! Nyah!

[The shark swims away.]

D.W.: [laughs]

Teacher: Hey, look! An octopus!

D.W.: What's an octopu—?

[A giant octopus swims up to the glass. D.W. is the only one to back away and scream. Scene cuts to the Reads' backyard, where D.W. is telling her story to Arthur and Mrs. Read.]

D.W.: And then I hit it on the nose.

Arthur: With what?

D.W.: Uh... a stick! And then I pulled my leg out of its mouth.

Arthur: The octopus got your leg?

D.W.: Yes! That's what I'm trying to tell you!

Mrs. Read: Honey, why don't you save your story for later? It's almost time for bed. [￼Pal is licking her leg.] Hey, that tickles!

Arthur: Anyway, I bet you were scared. I bet you ran away.

D.W.: Did not!

[Pal licks the back of her leg. D.W. jumps in shock and screams. Scene cuts to D.W. taking a bath. The door creaks open.]

D.W.: And the eensy beensy spider went up the Brussel sprout. Down— [turns toward the door suddenly] [quietly] Down came the rain and...

Arthur: OCTOPUS! [dangles a fake spider on a string in front of D.W.]

D.W.: [screams] Octopus! Octopus! OCTOPUS! [runs into her mom's closet]

Mrs. Read: What the—?!

[Scene cuts to Arthur being scolded.]

Mr. Read: And...?

Arthur: And I'm really sorry. It was just a joke.

Mrs. Read: Not a very funny one. Now go to your room.

D.W.: And don't come out until I say so.

[Arthur walks into his room and shuts the door.]

Mrs. Read: Feel better?

D.W.: I hope an octopus eats him.

[Scene cuts to D.W.'s dream, in which Arthur is wrapped in an octopus's tentacles. The octopus takes his glasses. D.W. is smiling while sleeping with her parents. The thermometer outside the window reads close to 95 degrees. Arthur takes a shirt out of the freezer. The phone rings; he answers it.]

Arthur: Hello?

Buster: You've got air conditioning, right?

Arthur: In my dad's kitchen.

Buster: Be right over.

[Arthur turns the dial on the air conditioner to "Unbelievably freezing cold"]

Buster: All right! Let's go! [sets down soccer ball] He runs, he kicks... score!

D.W.: [clears throat]

Buster: [gasps] Oops.

D.W.: [to Arthur] You're in big trouble now.

[The AC starts making noises and suddenly explodes.]

Mr. Read: [angrily] That's it. I've had it.

Arthur: Had what?

Mrs. Read: You're right. I can't take it any more.

D.W.: Now you're in really big trouble.

Mr. Read: No, she means we just can't take the heat, so we'll just have to... go to Bear Lake!

D.W.: [gasps]

[Scene cuts to the Reads packing the car. D.W. is sitting outside wrapped in a towel.]

D.W.: I'm not going.

Others: What? Why?

D.W.: I don't want to go in the water.

Arthur: You're not still scared of octopuses, are you? We're going to the lake, D.W. Octopuses live in oceans, not lakes.

D.W.: I'm not going, and that's that.

[Scene cuts to D.W. wrapped in a towel on the beach.]

Mr. Read: There. I don't see any octopuses.

[D.W. imagines the other people on the beach as octopuses. One wraps its tentacle around D.W.'s foot.]

D.W.: Daddy, help! Let me go!

[The "octopus" turns out to be Kate.]

Kate: [cries]

D.W.: [cries]

Mr. Read: All right. You can just sit here with us.

Arthur: On your mark, get set...

Kate: Ooh.

Arthur: Wait! Aren't you supposed to wear a bathing cap... for your ears?

Buster: Oh, darn, I forgot. Guess I'll have to go home. [winks and dives into the water]

[Arthur and Buster laugh.]

Lifeguard: [through megaphone] Is there a Buster Baxter here? Paging Buster Baxter.

Buster: What'd I do now?

D.W.: [points] Right over there.

Lifeguard: Thanks. Your name Buster?

Buster: Um, who wants to know?

Lifeguard: Your mom sent this over by messenger. She doesn't want you swimming without it.

Buster: [dejectedly] Oh, yeah. Thanks.

[Arthur stifles his laughter.]

Muffy & Francine: Yoohoo! Arthur, Buster!

Francine: Wait up!

[Buster quickly dives but Arthur fails to get away fast enough.]

Francine: Arthur, didn't you hear us calling?

Arthur: Not really.

Muffy: We're playing tag. Wanna play?

Francine: Where's Buster? Wasn't he with you?

Arthur: He's around... somewhere.

[Buster emerges, gasping for breath. Scene cuts to the four of them at the pontoon. Arthur fills Buster's cap with sand, and Buster throws it into the water. On the beach, Mrs. Read crawls into a tent with D.W. inside.]

Mrs. Read: Aren't you getting hot in here?

D.W.: I'm hiding. Can you shut the door?

Mrs. Read: Honey, there are no octopuses on this beach. I promise. Now, don't you want something to eat?

[D.W. shakes her head.]

Mrs. Read: What's the matter, sweetie?

D.W.: [sighs] I'm bored.

[Scene cuts to outside. Mrs. Read is talking to Arthur and Buster.]

Mrs. Read: Ten minutes: that's all I'm asking. She needs someone to play with.

Buster: Want to play commando raid?

D.W.: No.

Arthur: Want to swim out to the raft and do cannonballs?

D.W.: No...

[Scene cuts to Arthur and Buster standing guard and holding sticks next to a sand castle.]

D.W.: Now, when I say "Help," you run in and save me from the octopus. Ready? Go.

Arthur: Help.

D.W.: No, I'm the princess!

[Some girls down the beach giggle.]

Buster: I am never coming to the beach with you again.

Mrs. Read: D.W.!

D.W.: What is it, Mom? [runs to her]

[Arthur and Buster drop theirs sticks and high-five. D.W. returns.]

D.W.: Mom says you can swim now.

Arthur & Buster: All right!

D.W.: But you'll have to play with me again later.

Arthur & Buster: Okay.

[Scene cuts to Arthur and his friends having fun in the water.]

D.W.: Daddy, can't you make them stay on the beach?

Mr. Read: I think it would be easier if you went into the water.

D.W.: I can't.

Francine: [holding Buster's cap] Look what I found.

Buster: Hey, gimme that!

[Francine tosses it to Muffy.]

Muffy: Get this disgusting thing away from me. It looks like a dead octopus. [throws it back]

Francine: Help! Octopus!

Buster: Run for your life, man! Octopus! [throws it to Arthur]

Arthur: Help me! I'm being attacked by an octopus!

D.W.: Dad, wake up! It's an octopus!

Mr. Read: Not now, D.W.

Arthur: Oh, no! It's got me! Help!

D.W.: I'll save you, Arthur! [runs toward the water]

Arthur: [screams]

D.W.: [gasps]

Francine: Look!

[The lifeguard is helping D.W. swim.]

D.W.: I'm coming, Arthur! Arthur, you're alive! [laughs]

Lifeguard: Wasn't that fun? Now don't let them tease you anymore. There aren't any octopuses here. [to Arthur and his friends] I hear you've been having some kind of trouble.

Buster: Who, us?

Lifeguard: Weren't you just yelling for help?

Arthur: We were only fooling around.

Lifeguard: Well, no more of that. It's dangerous to yell for help unless you really mean it. [to Buster] And you...

Buster: Y-yes?

[The lifeguard points to his swim cap.]

Buster: [chuckles sheepishly and picks it up]

[Scene cuts to D.W. on Arthur's back.]

D.W.: Okay, do it again, Arthur!

[Arthur stands up suddenly, flinging D.W. into the water.]

D.W.: [laughs]

[D.W. runs and jumps back on to Arthur.]

D.W.: You forgot to neigh.

Arthur: [groans and collapses]

Mrs. Read: Kids, hurry up! It's time to go!

Arthur: What took you so long?

D.W.: No, wait! Ten more minutes?

Mrs. Read: Honey, we have to go. It's almost dark! [picks up D.W.]

D.W.: Can we come back tomorrow?

Mrs. Read: We'll see.

D.W.: I love the beach. Did you see me float? And I learned to swim, and the lifeguard gave me a ride, and she said that octopuses don't like lakes, and she's never even seen one!

Mrs. Read: That's nice, honey. We'll come back another time, okay?

[D.W. has fallen asleep on her shoulder.]

Mrs. Read: O-okay? [realizes she is asleep] Shh...