User blog:Pugpo/Phony Fern 2

Phony Fern 2: Return of the Cell Phone
Chapter 1: The Return

One day, at Lakewood Elementary, Fern was enjoying a lunch quietly, sitting next to Sue Ellen. She had been talking about her trip to Cameroon, when Muffy dashed up to their table. "Fern! Fern!" she squaked. Fern put down her turkey and cheese sandwhich and looked up at Muffy. "What is it?". Muffy snatched a pink smartphone from her pocket. "It's new! It's improved! It's the Portalex 370!". Fern shook her head. "I told you, Muffy, I'm done with that kind of stuff". She pulled out her old black cellular phone. "I just use it to communicate, not chat". Muffy shook her head. "Fine, if that's the way you want to live all your life," and left.

Chapter 2: Ads, Ads, and more Ads

One her way home, Fern spotted ads for the Portalex 370. One billboard said "If you loved the Portalex 360, than you'll simply adore the Portalex 370!". Another, "The Portalex 370 is complete with a camera, unlimited text, wifi all the time, millions of apps, and a built in printer!". Fern rolled her eyes. She wouldn't left herself be fooled again. When she got home, there was a sign posted in her yard. "The Portalex 370," it read. "better than the 360, so GET ONE TODAY!". Fern groaned, and ripped the sign from the ground, flinging grass and dirt across the driveway. She trampled up to her room and shut the door.

Chapter 3: The Scientific Name of Temptation

The next day at school, everyone was crowded around Muffy's 370. "And with this app, I can scan any plant or animal, and it gives me it's scientific name!". "Whoa!" Buster cried. "What's my scientific name?" Arthur asked. Muffy held up her phone. "SCANNING...SCANNING...SCANNNING...NAME RETRIEVED...Orycteropus afer" the phone said. "Cool!". Francine said, "Me next, me next!". Fern watched from the swings. Her teeth were clenhced together. She was trying to think about other things beside the Portalex 370, but it wasn't working. CA-CHEET! A flash glared Fern's view. She looked up, and saw Muffy holding her phone up. "Oh, that was a bad picture. Here, you still want it?". She pressed a button and a picture printed from the bottom of the phone. "Here". Fern grabbed the picture, and tore it up.

Chapter 4: CaChing

When Fern was walking home, she saw triple the ammount of of Portalex 370 ads. "NEW AND IMPROVED, GET ONE RIGHT NOW!", "YOU'VE NEVER HAD A PHONE IF YOU HAVEN'T HAD THE 370!!!" they screamed. When Fern got home, there was a truck at her house. It said, "Portalex Inc.". A man got out of the driver's seat and planted a sign in Fern's yard. It said, "EVEN MORE IMPROVED!!! GET THE PORTALEX 380 AT YOUR LOCAL ELECTRONICS STORE!!!". "Uuuuuhhh!!!" cried Fern, kicking the sign down. "Fine! I'lll take one!" she hollered at the man. He handed her a purple cell phone. "That'll be 60 dollars, plus tax, kid," he said. Fern smashed all her piggy banks and came out with $60.01. "Sorry, tax is 25 cents" the man said, snathing the phone from Fern's hand and driving away. Fern searched the house for 24 more cents. She had no such luck.

Chapter 5: The Last Quarter on Earth

The next day, when Fern was walking to school, she kicked up a quarter on the road. "A QUARTER!" she shrieked. The quarter was already rolling down the sidewalk, weaving in and out through the traffic. "Stop that quarter!". Suddenly, a steamroller rumbled towards the rolling coin at a racing speed. Fern's eyes narrowed. "So we meet again..." she murmured. Her legs burning, Fern sturggled to catch up with the quarter. The steamroller trudged on behind her. With her last energy, she kicked the coin out of the way of the roller. She watched as it flew through the air. "Oh, no!" she scremed, relizing where it was going. The quarter flew straight into the sewer drainage on the side of the road. She raced over to it, just in time to hear it go PLOP in the water.

Chapter 6: The Final Battle

Fern was seeming. She was so angry, she could take down a grizzly. She was walking to class thorugh the hallways, her fists clenched. She was so angry, she punched the vending machine. Angels sang as a quarter rolled out of the machine and fell straight in Fern's hand. "A QUARTER!" she shrieked, She ran throught the halls, out of the school doors and dahsed to the factory district.

When she got to the Portalex Inc. building, she saw the place in a wreck. Cell phones where everywere, and a riot was formed outside the doors. "Calm down, calm down!" a person said, coming out of the double doors. His name tag said, Mr. Bowers, CEO of Portalex Inc. "How can we calm down when we were TRICKED!" one person said. Mr. Bowers shrugged. "Tricked? what do you mean?". "THIS PHONE DOESN'T WORK!". The person held up his phone, and pushed a button. " Ailurus fulgens! Chelonia mydas! 40 degrees in Greenland! Fracturcula artica! Grenda's population: 110,821! White is to puce, as mohogany is to...juhbshdf...oshrbjbns...nziuabjb..." the phone sputtered, and cracked. Mr. Bowers turned white. "I...I don't know why this is happening!". "WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK!" the crowd raced forwards, trampling Mr. Bowers and racing into the factory.

An hour later, when everyone had left, Muffy stomped up to the factory. "I want my money back!" she cried. Mr. Bowers, his shirt ripped and hair ruffled, shook his head. "I'm sorry...we're broke". "UUUGGGH!" Muffy roared, and stomped away.

SuperMarshmallow (talk) 16:43, August 20, 2012 (UTC)