Thread:The Pop Cult Gamer/@comment-4319402-20161111022313/@comment-4797643-20161226090624

A Message To The Sonic Fanbase Who Knew Me Back Then On DeviantART Part II

For those of you who haven’t read the first part, please do:

http://thepopcultgamer.tumblr.com/post/151542619802/a-message-to-the-sonic-fanbase-who-knew-me-back

Art Gifts
Please listen to the next song as you read farther:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzpGEx_AT-I

Back then on deviantART, I got a few art gifts. One of them had this user surprise me with my Adult Amy redesign. I claimed that she “didn’t ask me permission to use it first.” But the real reason why I was upset was because of what she said “I corrected it.” I took that as an insult and got offended by that. That’s the real reason why I was upset. I felt like I failed as an artist. You can’t blame me for feeling offended if someone “corrected your art.” If I used on of your ideas and said “I corrected your art”, you wouldn’t like it. I apologize for making the user cry, but please understand it was all because I was offended by “corrected your art.” Not that copyright thing I said originally. If she didn’t say what she said, I would not have been offended.

Fawning over Adult Amy redesigns
I apologize if my old comments on deviantART sounded like I was being crazy with the fawning. I just trying to be funny like you saw in the Karaoke videos above.

My Fears
I have many fears in my life. Most of them have been lost….only to get replaced by something else. These are my biggest fears:

1. Failure and making mistakes - This is something I greatly fear. I feel like a failure already because of my Asperger’s. I feel like if I ever make any kind of mistake, I am a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes I know, that’s how life is. But for me, I feel like I always have to be perfect.

2. Not fitting in - Because of I am autistic. I feel very different from other people. I feel like the one that sticks out like a sore thumb. I want to be like everyone else and be viewed like them, but unfortunately I am always going to feel different because of what I have.

3. Fear of missing out aka FOMO - I was asked this the other day by my mother. I admitted it and said that I don’t want to be left out of anything.

4. Fear of people thinking negatively about me - It depresses and upsets me if people were to think of me negativity. I am very sensitive and I feel bad and get offended easily. Everyone in real-life knows this about me.

What people tell me in real-life
People often try to tell me to never give up on my art, ideas and always believe in myself. These are what people say:

“Forget about those people on the Internet. They are probably just jealous. Remember to stay positive!”

“It’s not a big deal because they are just fictional characters. Don’t beat yourself up over that meme.”

“Do what ever it takes to make you happy. Just ignore people on the Internet.”

“Brandon, I don’t understand why you don’t believe in yourself? Forget what those kids on the Internet say.”

“People just say negative things to you just to be assholes.”

“Cyberbullies are cowards.”

They have all seen my art and they compliment it. One of my friends I haven’t seen in awhile was like “Hey Brandon, I have seen your drawings on your Facebook. They are really good!” If look at those old Adult Sonic and Amy drawings on the link above on the Sonic Wiki blog. You can see in the comments people like them.

Self-Esteem
Even before deviantART, I had poor self-esteem. I remember in high school, my art teachers would be like “Art isn’t about being negative.” There was also another time where I had zero hope of graduating if I didn’t do well on a senior project. A classmate said “Don’t be like Eeyone from Winnie the Pooh. You will pass the project.”

After I graduated from high school, my self-esteem got worse and worse. After my time on deviantART. It’s so bad now that I feel like I can’t do anything and that I suck at everything I do. My mother tells me that I need to believe in myself and don’t beat myself up over the smallest things. Everyone tells me to stay positive and don’t listen to negative people.

How I feel about deviantART and everything that happened me
Please listen to the next song as you read further:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_601kPxo1lQ

I feel extremely depressed. I feel like I have failed as an artist. I feel like I have failed at what I love doing, drawing. When I wake up in the morning, I worry about what Sonic fans are thinking about me? I am not just saying that I feel depressed. All this stuff I got from the Sonic fanbase genuinely hurt me. Like the AlphaOmegaSin video you are about to see about how bad people made Zamii feel about herself, the Sonic fanbase made me feel very bad about myself. I am being dead serious, it really hurt me emotionally.

I got so upset when people would go on my things and write negative comments. I have really tried and put my heart and soul into drawings.

All the attention from the Sonic fanbase, I didn’t like. I was being harassed, threatened and being followed everywhere I go. The song you are listening to right now, Nutshell by Alice in Chains was written all by Layne Staley. He wrote this song because he was feeling depressed and didn’t like all the negative publicity he was getting from the media portraying him as nothing more than a heroin addict. This is how I feel about what the Sonic fanbase has done to me. The lyrics are exactly how I feel except the very last lyric, “If I can’t be my own, I’d feel better dead.” I would never consider feeling like that and I will explain in just a minute why that is not the answer.

Shortly before I left deviantART, there was this one user named Narisha-Is-Here who stood up for me saying that I needed to report all those people making all those hate journals/art about me. I explained her that I don’t like the Sega Amy and that I liked my Adult Amy that I have been drawing and other Adult Amy’s. She revealed that she likes an Adult Tails. I also explained why I chose the style I drew in. It’s because of action cartoons I watched such as Jonny Quest, TMNT, Batman: The Animated Series, X-Men: The Animated Series, Spider-Man 1994, Captain Planet, The Real Ghostbusters, Justice League, Teen Titans, etc. as a kid. She explained that everyone is are going to have their own unique art styles and that Sonic fanbase needs to understand that. This same user also made a journal addressing artist bullying. I remember her saying that so many fans are getting unwanted criticism for expressing their ideas and that the people are the ones who sought it out. If you want to read her journal about Artist-Bullying, click here: http://narisha-is-here.deviantart.com/journal/Artist-bullying-is-a-real-big-issue-479618999

My sister showed me a Taylor Swift video where she gives out this speech on her 1989 tour: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZFEOuhiilo I may not be a fan of Taylor Swift but she is a good role model and I do admire her as a person. She’s a much better role model than Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, Scott Weiland, etc. I may love Grunge but those guys weren’t good role models. I know they were depressed but doing heroin and killing yourselves is not the way to cope with depression. Especially the latter. That hurts so many people, especially their families, friends, fans, etc. I wish they were still alive and didn’t do drugs.

With Zamii070, she was a user who was severely harassed and threatened by the Steven Universe fandom to the point where she attempted suicide. Her art was viewed as “problematic” according to her haters. Fans complained that she made a character named Quartz Rose too thin when she is obese in her official design. She was accused of being “fatphobic.” Her Fluttershy drawing portrayed as a Native American was considered offensive. Below is AlphaOmegaSin’s address on the matter:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deVVU2K0Eo0

I think the whole thing is very sad. AlphaOmegaSin might be viewed as an angry, scary narcissist but he has a good heart and he really does care about other people. If he knew me, he would tell me the same exact thing everyone tells me in real-life. Ignore people like that. In the video he says that “no matter what you put out on the Internet. You are always going to get assholes.” Now, I am not saying you guys are assholes. I am just saying what AlphaOmegaSin said. He also said it was the hater’s and fan’s own accord to go seek out Zamii070 and get offended by her work. Watching the video, seeing all the harassment she had to endure and her attempting suicide is seriously disturbing. The Sonic fanbase is extremely lucky that I would never consider suicide. ReviewTechUSA even said when he called out LeafyIsHere, “Words can be lethal.” And LeafyIsHere himself is lucky no one he made fun of and humiliated on YouTube didn’t consider suicide. I think the people who harassed Zamii should face criminal charges and be held liable for her attempting suicide. I know there was a few who were involved have been arrested over it and have been charged cyber-harassment, cyber-stalking and cyber-bullying (a few people in the comments of one troll who was arrested questioned the authenticity of the photo of his arrest warrant.) This Zamii incident should be a huge wake-up call for all fanbases. I am serious, they are extremely lucky she survived.

I really wish I can talk to him about how I feel about things.

Klaudy-na
She was one of the Adult Sonic redesign artists that inspired me to create my Adult redesigns of Sonic and Amy along with Kyo Soebo and a few other artists. We were good friends. I treated her like a sister as we had a lot in common. I was always complimenting her art. I would look out for her like a big brother (we were 4 years apart) whenever anyone attempted to be mean, bully or troll her. I stood up for her for her like how I would for my friends who get verbally abused by customers while on the job. I also have been known to tell people or report anything that seems suspicious or off. I did this back then when I was on deviantART too. In fact, you can say I am a bit too strict when it comes to rules and being too protective of my friends. The thing with me is I am loyal to my friends and I will do anything to protect them. Unfortunately, my loyalty can lead to naiveness and not realize if I am friends with the wrong person? This unfortunately, was the case with this artist.

One day in mid-2014, she drew an Adult Sonic drawing where it was about rape. I called her out on it, telling her that rape is one of the most committed crimes in my city of Anaheim (I shouldn’t have ever mentioned that I live in Anaheim) and it’s not funny and it’s a very serious crime. She replied to it saying “If I didn’t like it, I didn’t have to go on it.” So then she turns around and tells people that I “stalked” her with that comment. At the time I wrote that comment, I was using my iPhone4 and the word “know” of the comment was somehow skipped or autocorrected and I was typing this comment late at night.

When I learned she did that to me, I was heartbroken and felt betrayed. I was wondering why she did that to me and I was asking a few users to ask her why she did that to me? I admit that I complained about my the misfortunes in my life a lot and I shouldn’t have done that. But I was always so nice to her, always complimenting her art, I drew her fan character, stood up for her against trolls, thanked her for all the work she has done and even gave her deviantART points on her birthday which money coming out of my pocket! I really thought she was my friend and I literally said before that she was like a little sister to me. She also started talking crap behind my back saying that I “always bugged her” and that I am a “psychopath.” I just can’t believe that after everything I did for her, she was so ungrateful and unappreciative. Now, I am beginning to realize now that all her thank yous and being grateful were all just her pretending to be that way. I remember I left Karaoke much earlier than usual because I was too sadden to continue Karaoke for the rest of the night. I had an old YouTube account that I deleted due to so much harassment by the Sonic fanbase. I used this old account to message a goodbye message to her thanking her for inspiring me to create my Adult Sonic and Amy redesign and thanking her being a good friend (one again, I still believed her to be a friend.) She never replied to it. My eventual new one I created a year later is where I upload my Smash Fights and Crazy Karaoke Videos!

This was seriously a life lesson to me. I learned that I need to realize who are my real friends and who aren’t. I cannot imagine my real-life friends doing this to me. They are like a second family to me. And I care about them too much. So much so that I was willing to call the police on some guy who was driving erratically in the parking lot while I was playing Pokemon Go. The DJ you hear in the Karaoke videos even said over the microphone that I was protecting the patrons of place and thanked me over the microphone. I would be severely devastated and heartbroken they were to ever do that to me? Let me tell you guys something? My Karaoking has actually help me develop socially. It’s help me to become who I am now…..a social butterfly. Before on my first few times going to Karaoke, I was shy and a bit socially awkward. Then as time when on, I progressively got more and more sociable and right now, I talk to EVERYONE and socialize with all sorts of people! Every time I go to Karaoke now, I met and befriend new people!

The SonAmy Issue
Please listen to the next song as you read further:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_m0bI82Rz_k

I am not saying this to be biased or liberal. I thought about this very carefully and hard. And what I have to say is that there is reasonable doubt that Sonic doesn’t like Amy. Yes, he would deny it but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like Amy for real.

Think about this? Before Amy appeared in Sonic CD. She appeared in that obscure 1992 Sonic manga in Japan. In that manga, she was the girlfriend and love interest of Nicki whose alter ego was Sonic the Hedgehog (he was unaware that he was him.) He would often get jealous of himself when Amy fawned over Sonic. Now, do you think it’s really odd how if they didn’t like the idea of Sonic having a love interest, they would go through all that trouble of trying to get the character into the games if they didn’t want Sonic to have a love interest? I am just not buying that they would really go through all that trouble for nothing? If they really did do it all for nothing, then I hate to say this but it was pointless to put her in the games. There has got to be a good reason for why they put the manga Sonic’s love interest/girlfriend in the games? There is always a reason why developers and designers do something? Even Dan Hibiki from Street Fighter was put in Street Fighter for a reason! He was put in there because Capcom felt SNK ripped off Ryu and Ken with Ryo and Robert from Art of Fighting and wanted to make a satirical take of the latter characters. I know I am going off-topic but the point I am trying to make is there has to be a good reason why they ripped the character from the manga and put her into the games.

Anyway, there is the Test of Love from Sonic 2006, a mandatory mission where you have to choose Amy or Elise as a love interest for Sonic. When you do pick her, the Oracle says “I see. You have chosen your long-time love.” And that in-game Special Book mode from Sonic and the Secret Rings where it literally said “Meet Amy Rose, Sonic’s ever cheerful love interest.” It is possible that the latter could have been a mistake as if it was done by accident, not realized, proof-read or caught. But the former having that is a big giveaway. Also, why is it that Sonic is so depressed in Unleashed that Amy didn’t recognize him? Shouldn’t have have been glad that she didn’t recognize him? Oh yeah, there was also in the PS3 and 360 versions of the game where Chip sometimes asks while feeding him “Is there somebody you like Sonic? Is there!? There is! Who is it?” Oh yeah, in the next game there was Sonic and the Black Knight where Sonic put his arm around Nimue (Amy’s Arthuretian counterpart) and said “You don’t waste your time lady!” And there was also the ending where he missed the date he had planned with Amy because of the events of the game. Honestly, why does Eggman kidnap Amy so much if Sonic really doesn’t have feelings for her? Why doesn’t he go after Tails or Cream? But Eggman insists on going after her. It’s got to be a weakness to Sonic somehow if he keeps doing this? Or even their designs alone? Why did they make Amy pink and have her as a hedgehog? Not to mention, the ONLY female hedgehog? Blue and Pink often mean boyfriend and girlfriend.

You know what, I am not here to turn this into a debate. But like I said, there is reasonable doubt. Even sonic93 said I “made many, many good points about it being canon.” She even made a SonAmy hint video just like that SonAmy Hint Guide I made in 2013.

Two more things I have to say about this and I am cutting it off. I was once like Sonic with Amy back when I was in 4th Grade. There was this classmate of mine that I had a secret crush on and I was just like Helga with Arnold with her. Everyone believed that I liked her. EVERYONE did! And I would always deny it!

I also noticed a pattern with American cartoons and anime about relationships where the main girl loves the main guy. It happened with Goku and Chi-Chi, Naruto and Hitana, Sasuke and Sakura and Ichigo and Orihime. Also Chowder (I never watched the show) with Chowder and that pink rabbit that had a crush on him, Arnold and Helga (Craig Bartlett stated on video that they get married when they grow up and have a family), Ed, Edd, n, Eddy (there was a deleted scene in the “Take This Ed and Solve It” where it was revealed that the Eds and the Kanker Sisters got married when they are old) and even Mortal Kombat had Johnny Cage and Sonya Blade having Cassie Cage in MK X (they got divorced prior to the events in the game.) So yeah, Sonic is probably going to follow this pattern as all the other shows and games I mentioned.

Okay, I really want to move on to the next subject and but I just to say, everyone tells me in real-life that I am a “very smart guy.” Yeah, I am basically like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory and my mom even calls me Sheldon sometimes. Also, whenever I am at places. I am very knowledge about the things and explain everything in detail.

I just want Sonic fans to understand that I am so much more than a guy who liked Sonic. I do not think that SonAmy is a “religion.” Back then on that SonAmy Haters Group 3 years ago, I said “That fans deny SonAmy’s existence, like how people deny Jesus being their savior.” I didn’t mean that SonAmy was just as important as God himself. I only said people deny it because they are both things that people deny frequently. I am NOT saying that SonAmy is a religion and it is not God himself.

Part III Coming Soon
This will be the third and final part of my message to the Sonic fanbase. Here, I will answer questions Sonic fans might have for me? I will get it done within about a week or so.

In this Q and A, I will explain in detail why I quit the Sonic franchise. I am also going to explain my thoughts on the upcoming Sonic games and I am aware that what I am going to say will result in many Sonic fans messaging me hate mail. To give you guys an idea, I am going to say Sonic 2017 and Sonic Mania look unimpressive and instead me think “Really?”

Songs Used
1) myuu - Moonlight Menschen (2012)

2) Alice in Chains - Nutshell (1994)

3) Collective Soul - Shine (1994)