Bitzi's Beau/Transcript

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Arthur and Buster meet at their lockers.

Arthur: You never came back from call waiting. I was on the phone for twenty minutes.

Buster: Sorry, Arthur. My mom took the phone and went into her room. She's been acting real weird lately.

Arthur: How so?

Buster: Well, she smiles all the time. And sometimes, when she's on the phone, she gets all... giggly.

Muffy: Boyfriend.

Buster: What?? My mom does not have a boyfriend.

Muffy: Any unexpected deliveries of flowers lately?

Buster: Hm, now that you mention it...

Muffy: When she's doing something, does she stop suddenly, stare into space and sigh like this: (sighs)

Buster: Well... just once or twice.

Muffy: I rest my case: boyfriend.

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Buster imagines Mr. Ratburn and Bitzi getting married by an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas.

Elvis: Do you, Nigel Charles Ratburn, take Bitzi Lynn Baxter to have and to hold, for better or for worse, through sickness and health, from this day forward till death do you part?

Mr. Ratburn: I do. But I must tell you, sir, that's a run-on sentence. Try breaking it up with a few periods.