I Wanna Hold Your Hand/Transcript

Arthur: Sometimes it's easy to know when you've outgrown something.

D.W.: OK, push me.

Arthur: Not now, D.W., can't you see I'm busy?

D.W.: So?! You could still introduce the show while you're pushing.

Arthur: [SIGHS AND GRUNTS] But sometimes it's harder to tell, like with stuffed animals. When are you too old to...

D.W.: Faster!

Arthur: I'm pushing as hard as I can! You're too big!

D.W.: You're just weak.

Arthur: Where was I?

D.W.: Stuffed animals.

Arthur: Oh, yeah. Is eight years old too old to play with...

D.W.: Where's my babba? I want my babba.

Arthur: Your what?

D.W.: Babba. It's baby for bottle. Boy, you're terrible at this game.

Arthur: So when do you know when you're too old to do something?

D.W.: This is empty. Where's the juice? That's it, I'm throwing a tantrum. Waaah! Waaah! [WAILS]

<p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: I quit! Watch the show and see how Binky deals with this question.

<p class="MsoNormal">D.W.: Waaah!

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Don't you say another word. What are you looking at? Scram!

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<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Why do I have to wear a tie? It doesn't mention dress code on the invitation.

<p class="MsoNormal">Mrs. Barnes: I want my Binkums to look extra handsome for his big music recital.

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Too greeny. Too squiddy. Not bad but it might mess with my tongueing. I'll take it!

<p class="MsoNormal">Mrs. Barnes: See, that wasn't so bad. And you look so distinguished. Ah! My little boy is growing up. 'Little boy, little boy...'

<p class="MsoNormal">[CACKLING LAUGHTER]

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Huh!

<p class="MsoNormal">George: Hey, Binky, how's it...?

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: You didn't see that.

<p class="MsoNormal">George: What?!

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: You heard me.

<p class="MsoNormal">George: What didn't I see?

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Good. Keep it that way.

<p class="MsoNormal">Mrs. Barnes: What was that all about?

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Hm? Oh, just giving George some advice.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Nigel Ratburn: Oh, Binky, there's been a slight change in seating assignments. From now on, you'll be sitting there.

<p class="MsoNormal">[BINKY GASPS]

<p class="MsoNormal">Nigel Ratburn: It's for boys who still hold hands with their mommies.

<p class="MsoNormal">[BINKY SOBS]

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Oh! I have to show them I'm not a baby.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Where's my tie? I want to wear it today.

<p class="MsoNormal">Mrs. Barnes: But the recital isn't for another...

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: I know. I just feel like trying it out.

<p class="MsoNormal">Mrs. Barnes: OK, it's in the bag in the hall. Shall I help you tie it?

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Mom! I can tie it myself. I'm not a baby, you know.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: The rabbit goes in the hole and.…over the tree and... Wait, that's not right.

<p class="MsoNormal">[GASPS AND CROAKS]

<p class="MsoNormal">Mrs. Barnes: Oh!

<p class="MsoNormal">[BINKY GASPS]

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<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: What's the matter? Never seen a guy wear a tie before? Ow! [GRUNTS]

<p class="MsoNormal">George: Binky, about what happened at the mall yesterday... I wasn't sure what...

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: You didn't see nothing, remember?

<p class="MsoNormal">George: You mean I didn't see anything.

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Exactly.

<p class="MsoNormal">Rattles: Hey, what's up with Binks?

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: I don't know. He's been acting strange today. Very nervous. Hey, big horns, you were just talking to Binky, what's eating at him?

<p class="MsoNormal">George: I can't tell!

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: So, Binky's keeping secrets from us.

<p class="MsoNormal">Rattles: That's breaking the unwritten law of the tough customers.

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: Well, we're going to find out what it is!

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<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Hm, fascinating article.

<p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: You're looking at coupons.

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: So? You can learn a lot from looking at coupons. 20 cents off on cat food! Ha, ha! What does that tell you about the economy!

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: You can cut the act, Binks, we know all about your secret.

<p class="MsoNormal">Rattles: Yeah, we had a little chat with George.

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: What'd he say?

<p class="MsoNormal">Rattles: All he said was, "I can't tell", but it was the WAY he said it.

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: You numbskull! We were supposed to pretend George actually told us something so we can find out what Binky is hiding.

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Well, there's nothing to tell so quit asking.

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: Hm...very suspicious.

<p class="MsoNormal">George: Oh!

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: You do not say another word. Especially not about you-know-what. Understand? Good.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Nigel Ratburn: Who can tell me what the capital of Sweden is? George? Yes, George, I'm waiting. Fine, perhaps you'd like to tell me the answer AFTER class!

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<p class="MsoNormal">[NIGEL RATBURN LECTURES GEORGE]

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: I didn't want him to get into trouble. Oh well, at least my secret's safe.

<p class="MsoNormal">George: 'That Binky, I had to stay after class, all because of him. 'You should tell everyone he's a baby and holds his mommy's hand. That would teach him a lesson.'

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Uh-oh. Maybe I should've tried a different way.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: Give me all of your sevens. “Go fish.”   “Give me all of your twos.”   George, can you please talk? This is going to be the longest game of Go Fish ever. "Sorry."

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Wait! I just came to...give you something, here. That's not all. Raisins, I know you love 'em cos I'm always taking them from you. So, we're friends, right? Good. Remember that.

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: 'Binky was holding his mom's hand? I don't buy it.

<p class="MsoNormal">George: 'Oh, yeah? Then why did he try to bribe me with these raisins?

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: 'You've got proof?! That changes everything. Binky IS a baby!'

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: George! I'm begging you. I'll do anything. Just please, please, please don't tell.

<p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: Binky? It's Arthur. George says he isn't here. Oh, wait... I'm sorry, I wasn't supposed to say that. George says, "Tell what?"

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Good. Tell George I know I can count on him. You didn't hear this conversation, Arthur, understand?

<p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: What? I couldn't hear what you said.

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Good. Phew!

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: Whatever he's hiding, it's got to be really big. Music recital in the auditorium, tomorrow at 4pm. Could that be what this is about?

<p class="MsoNormal">Rattles: Maybe he's playing something really romantic. Like Debussy.

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: I don't know but something tells me we'd better be there.

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<p class="MsoNormal">[CLARINET PLAYS]

<p class="MsoNormal">[APPLAUSE]

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: Well that wasn't what he was hiding. It was amazing.

<p class="MsoNormal">Rattles: I'll say! For a tough customer, he plays with great sensitivity and passion. What's the matter with you? Don't you know genius when you hear it? Stand up.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Mrs. Barnes: Oh, Binky, I'm so proud of you! You were wonderful.

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: I was a little too largo on the third movement but, yeah, I guess I was pretty good.

<p class="MsoNormal">[BINKY GASPS]

<p class="MsoNormal">[LOUD CACKLING]

<p class="MsoNormal">[CACKLING CONTINUES]

<p class="MsoNormal">Mrs. Barnes: Binky, what's wrong?

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: I just don't feel like holding hands right now. I'm not a baby, you know. Oooh... OK, I know you saw it so just call me whatever you're going to call me.

<p class="MsoNormal">Rattles: How about Maestro? Do you like Maestro?

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: I'm not talking about the concert! I'm talking about holding my mom's hand.

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: Wait! That's it?! That's your secret?! [LAUGHS]

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Go ahead, laugh it up. You know what? She's my mom and I love her and if I want to hold her hand, I'm going to hold it so there!

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: Relax! I was only laughing because I think it's a silly thing to hide.

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: You do?!

<p class="MsoNormal">Molly: Sure! I hold my mom's hand all the time. What's the big deal?

<p class="MsoNormal">Rattles: I don't hold my mom's hand. My palms get sweaty. But I still don't think it's a big deal. Next time you have a secret, could you please make it something juicy? This was really disappointing.

<p class="MsoNormal">Mrs. Barnes: Ahem! We were going to take you out to dinner but if you'd prefer to go out with your friends...

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Are you kidding?! Chinese food with my mom, dad and little sister! What could be better than that.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: George, you can talk now. Yes, really!

<p class="MsoNormal">George: Phew!