Arthur's Almost Boring Day/Transcript

On a Saturday, Arthur and D.W. look out at the rain.

Arthur: (sighs)  I’m bored.

D.W.: Rain, rain, go away. Come again some other day.

Arthur: I bet everyone else is having fun.

Buster looks out at the rain.

Buster: Rain, rain, go away. Come again on a school day.

Francine looks out at the rain holding a basketball.

Francine: (sings:) “It's raining, it's pouring. The old man is snoring.”   Mr. Frensky is snoring on the couch.    And it's driving me nuts!

Brain has prepared a presentation in his room.

Brain: Rain, rain, go away. Evaporate and recondense, combining with vapor molecules and cumulonimbus clouds to return in a low-pressure weather front on a more appropriate occasion, hey hey.

Arthur and D.W. are still looking out at the rain.

Arthur: (yawns) 

Arthur+D.W.: I’m bored.

~~~

Title Card: Arthur With Umbrella

~~~

The day before, the third-graders sit in the classroom while the sun is shining outside.

Mr. Ratburn: Your homework assignment is...

Francine: Mr. Ratburn! Mr. Ratburn!

Mr. Ratburn: Francine?

Francine: Today is Friday.     Mr. Ratburn checks a calendar on the wall.

Mr. Ratburn: You're right.     The other kids smile at Francine.       Good. You'll have all weekend to do your homework.

Class: Aw!

Arthur: (sighs)

Outside in the schoolyard, Miss Sweetwater addresses her class.

Miss Sweetwater: Your assignment for the weekend - make sure you have loads of fun.

Miss Sweetwater’s Class: (cheer)      They dance around Miss Sweetwater.

Arthur: Bah!

Mr. Ratburn: Prepare a short report about what you do tomorrow.

Buster: Does that include eating?

Francine: Didn’t you hear? He said a "short" report.   The school bell rings.

~~~

The kids leave the school building. Binky stops Arthur, Buster and Francine.

Binky: Hey! I need ideas for my report. What should I do tomorrow?

Buster: You could come to the park with us.     Francine and Arthur give him angry looks.

Binky: Great idea!    He raises a hand, which makes Buster flinch.     Hey, wait a minute! If we play together, our reports will be the same. Forget it!       He walks away.

Francine: Is Binky right? Will our reports be the same?

Arthur: No. We don't have to play together all day.

~~~

That evening, Kate and Pal play peekaboo in the living room. Arthur and D.W. sit on the couch.

Kate: (laughs)

Commercial (on TV): “Sweet and fishy, good for kids. Golden delicious honey squids.”

Arthur+D.W.: Yeugh!

D.W.: So what are we doing tomorrow?

Arthur: We’re not doing anything. I'm going to the park with the guys.

D.W.: But you said you'd play with me.

Arthur: Tomorrow, I have to do something interesting. I'll play with you Sunday.

D.W.: Grrr!

~~~

On Saturday, there is a thunderstorm. Arthur looks out at the rain.

D.W.: When are you going to the park, Arthur?

Arthur: I can't, it's raining.

D.W.: (chuckles) Too bad, I guess you can play with me after all.     She pulls him away.

~~~

D.W. drops a few stuffed toys and board games on the living room rug. Arthur is on the phone.

Arthur: I need ideas. I can't write a report about playing baby games with D.W.

Francine: At least you'll be doing something. I can't think of anything.    Her dad is still snoring on the couch, right beside the drum set.     Maybe I'll practice the drums.    She smiles mischievously.

D.W. holds up two boxes.

D.W.: Which one first: “Weasel Rally” or “Confuse the Goose”?     

Arthur points at the former and rolls his eyes. D.W. hands him the lid.

Arthur: "A fun game combining all the thrills of weasels and racing."

~~~

Pal and Kate are both asleep while the parents sit at the dining table writing checks.

Arthur: You're doing it wrong!

D.W.: I am not! I am not! I am not!

Kate: (cries)

Mrs. Read: What's going on, you two?     D.W. comes in, followed by Arthur

D.W.: Arthur's ruining the game. He’s not playing right.

Arthur: I am so! I roll the dice, I move around the board.

D.W.: But you’re supposed to be having fun. Look at the little boy on the box!

Arthur: That little boy is not playing with you.

Mrs. Read: Arthur, is there another game you can play?

D.W.: Yes. I'll go set it up.      She leaves. The parents go back to work.

Arthur: Mom. Dad. I can't write a report that I played “Confuse the Goose”. Everyone will laugh at me.

Mr. Read: Why don’t you read a book to D.W.?

Mrs. Read: Yes, that should be quiet.... eh, fun.

When Arthur returns, D.W. has set up "Confuse the Goose". She spins the goose on the board.

Arthur: Mom and Dad said I don’t have to play that. But I’ll read to you.      D.W. walks to the dining room.

D.W.: Mom! Arthur said you said he didn't have to play with me!    

Arthur phones Buster who watches TV at home.

Buster: I don't know what you can do, Arthur.

Arthur: Everything around here is too boring to be in a report.    

D.W. has put a pile of books on an armchair. She looks peeved.

D.W.: I'm ready! Hm-hm! Hm-hm! Hm-hm!

Buster (on phone): Just watch wrestling until the rain stops. Hê. How long can it rain for?

Weatherman (on TV): This system is very similar to a monsoon during which it rains nonstop for an entire month.

Arthur: Hhh!

Buster (on phone): Arthur? Are you still there?

Arthur sits down next to D.W.

D.W.: Like it would be so hard to play one game of “Confuse the Goose” with your adorable sister.     She hands him a book called “3 Bears”.

Arthur: "Once upon a time..."

D.W.: Let me guess. They live happily ever after, right?     Arthur checks the ending.

Arthur: Right.

D.W.: I knew it. Boooring!

Mrs. Read is signing a check when a loud noise makes her pen slip.

Arthur: Roaaroarroar!

D.W.: (screams)

Kate: (cries)

D.W.: No!  (screams)     Arthur angrily chases her past the dining table holding a book like a monster’s jaws. Pal runs after them.

Arthur: (growls)

Pal: (barks)           The parents look exasperated.

Mr. Read: Everybody, freeze!!      Everybody freezes, including Pal and Kate.

D.W.: (without moving her body:)  Arthur's trying to bite my nose.  

Mr. Read: Is that any way to treat a book?!

Arthur: No. No, but she… she didn't want me reading to her!

Mrs. Read: Why don't you draw?       Mr. Read gives her the thumbs-up. The kids leave.

~~~

A while later, Arthur and D.W. are drawing in the living room.

D.W.: What did you draw?

Arthur: A dog, and he's bored. What did you draw?

D.W.: A stick.

Arthur: A stick?

D.W.: A stick from the park where you  (furiously shouts:)  promised to take me to today!!    Mr. Reads papers fly off the table.

Arthur: I never promised you anything!

D.W.: Did too! …

Arthur: Did not! …

Mrs. Read: We’re never gonna get anything done.

The parents go into the living room with two raincoats.

D.W.: Did too! …

Arthur: Did not! …

Mr. Read: Ahem!

~~~

Arthur and D.W. stand outside the door in their raincoats.

Mr. Read: Have fun at Grandma's.      He smiles and closes the door. The kids stare.

D.W.: It's raining! We'll die out here!

Arthur: Come on!     He pulls her away.

~~~

Arthur and D.W. cross a bridge in the park.

Arthur: If you'd behaved, we'd still be dry.

D.W.: Me?! I didn’t do anything. I'm the cute one! You’re annoying.     Arthur rolls his eyes.

~~~

Arthur and D.W. walk to Grandma Thora’s house.

Arthur: Oh great! Now I get to write a really exciting report about visiting my grandma. “I went to my grandma’s. She’s nice. The end.” I’m doomed.

Grandma Thora opens the door.

Grandma Thora: Hurry up! Come in, children. This is only good weather for ducks.

A family of anthropomorphic ducks comes cycling by.

Mr. Duck: Beautiful weather, huh?

D.W.: Huh?

In the hallway, Arthur and D.W. take off their coats.

Grandma Thora: I thought if you were bored at home, maybe you’d enjoy helping me…

Arthur: ...helping you watch TV?

Grandma Thora: No, Arthur. Help me…

~~~

Thora turns on a naked light bulb in her attic.

Grandma Thora: …clean out the attic.

Arthur: But cleaning is boring. Look at all this stuff.

D.W.: Wow!

Grandma Thora: I was just starting on it when your dad begged me to… um, when I decided to invite you over!

D.W. takes a ginger wig out of a hatbox and puts it on. Arthur finds a bobblehead baseball player in a chest.

Arthur: This is kind of creepy.     He shakes the figure.

Grandma Thora: That was your father's. So were these.         She holds up flared green pants with stars and moons.

D.W.: It's a dress with legs!

Grandma Thora: They're bell-bottom pants, silly. I have a picture of him wearing them.    

Arthur holds the pants and D.W. shouts into a pant leg.

D.W.: Hello, hello, hello.

Grandma Thora: Here it is.     She shows a photograph of young David Read in an album.

Arthur+D.W.: (laugh)

Grandma has set up an old film projector.

Grandma Thora: Flip that switch, Arthur.

An old black-and-white film shows young David at the entrance of Wonderworld.

D.W.: (laughs)  Daddy's a goof!

Arthur: That’s Wonderworld? Where's the Hurl-a-Whirl?

Grandma Thora: It wasn't built yet.

The film shows David walking through the amusement park.

D.W.: That is not Wonderworld. If that was Wonderworld, the mall would be right there.

Grandma Thora: They closed the wildlife reserve to build the mall later.

Arthur: Really?

The film shows the Sugar Bowl and street scenes from Elwood City. Arthur is transfixed. The film is reflected in his glasses.

~~~

On Monday, the kids reads their reports in class.

Francine: "Then my dad made me stop drumming so I watched wrestling all day."

Binky: "After watching eight hours of wrestling, I hope someday I can be a wrestler too, because then I could pulverize people and get paid for it!"         He realizes he has ripped his report.

Buster: "I watched wrestling all day.”

Mr. Ratburn: (yawns)

Buster: "It was very... interesting.”    Several kids are asleep or yawning.  

Francine: (yawns)

Buster: "The end."

Arthur: (yawns)

Francine: Boy, it's like living through the most boring day in history twice.

Mr. Ratburn: (yawns)  Arthur, you're next.

Arthur walks to the front. The others look expectantly.

Arthur: "On Saturday, I went to my grandma's..."

Binky: Oh, this is gonna be fascinating.

Brain: Aw…     He closes his eyes. Several kids looks like they are expecting the worst.

Arthur: No, it wasn't boring. Grandma!     Thora comes in with a projector on a trolley.

~~~

The film is running. Thora and Arthur stand next to the screen. Arthur is wearing the bell-bottom pants, pink shirt and blue cap that his dad wore in the film.

Grandma Thora: This is when my house was the only one on the block.

Arthur: And comic books cost 25 cents!      He holds up the #3 issue of Bionic Bunny.

Class: Wow!

Binky: Cool!

The film shows a football field.

Grandma Thora: That's the high school.         A nerdy teenager with glasses waves from the bleachers.    Do you know who that boy is?     The teenager gets hit by a football. The other teenagers laugh.    That's Mr. Haney, your principal.      Teenage David Read helps Mr. Haney up.

Class: (laugh)

Arthur: I never realized my grandma knew so much cool stuff.

Francine: Do you think our grandparents know about this too?

Grandma Thora: Probably even more! Why not ask them and find out? By the way, here comes somebody you might recognize.   

In the film, a teenage Nigel Ratburn walks onto the field in a football jersey. He dances around the ball and sticks out his tongue at the camera.

Grandma Thora: That boy is Mr. Ratburn!

(The class chuckles in unison.)

Class: Hh!           Mr. Ratburn whistles innocently.     (giggle)