(We open on a picturesque scene of Arthur and Buster paddling their canoe down a river while wearing their Camp Meadowcroak T-shirts...)
Arthur: (narrating) This summer, I couldn't wait to get to Camp Meadowcroak. I knew Buster and I would win the river race for sure!
(As they paddle, they approach some rocks and wood drifts in the river...)
Arthur and Buster: Woooooah! Wooooooah!
(They just miss the rocks. But Arthur then looks up and gasps to see a gigantic D.W. towering over them! )
Arthur: D.W., what are you doing?!
(Arthur and Buster scream and jump out of their canoe into the water as D.W.'s foot comes down and crushes the canoe. It ripples back to reality, where we see D.W. has stomped on Arthur's Camp Meadowcroak pamphlet on his bed. Arthur gasps in terror as D.W. jumps on the bed...)
D.W.: (singing to the background music) Guess what, Arthur?
You can't go to camp!
You can't go to camp!
We're going on vacation! We're going on vacation! We're going on vacation...
(As D.W. keeps repeating that lyric over and over while jumping on the bed, Arthur looks at his crumpled pamphlet and then gives a disappointed look at the camera...)
~~~ ARTHUR'S FAMILY VACATION - Title Card: Arthur Looks For an Umbrella
~~~ (Back to the story. At Buster's condo, Arthur hangs out in Buster's bedroom as Buster is struggling to close his stuffed suitcase.)
Buster: Don't worry, Arthur. We'll fix it so you can come to camp.
(Buster latches the suitcase closed and gets off of it. The suitcase springs open with a Hanna-Barbera -style poof, sending toys and clothes flying as they both gasp.)
Arthur: (leaps off the bunk bed) We leave for the beach tomorrow morning, Buster. I'm gonna be so bored.
Buster: Bored? Why didn't I think of that? (takes the sock off his head)
Arthur: You got an idea?!
Buster: No, my skateboard! I almost forgot it. (runs over to his sock bin to get it)
Arthur: Great.
Buster: Relax, Arthur. It's simple. Just tell your parents they need a vacation to relax.
Arthur: Aha!
~~~
(The background changes to Arthur's living room, as Arthur talks to his father...)
Arthur: But it'll never happen with all us kids around. So, maybe just you and mom should go!
(The dad is packing into a luggage case as Baby Kate sits next to it, cooing.)
Dad: Uh-huh... And, exactly what are you three going to do while Mom and I are off relaxing?
Arthur: Go to camp?
Dad: All of you?
(Arthur imagines paddling in the river race again. But this time D.W. and Kate are in the canoe with them having a tea party...)
D.W.: Arthur, slow down!
Arthur: Huh?
D.W.: You're making us spill our tea. (pretends to pour tea into Kate's cup)
Kate: Ayayay. Glooba!
(It fades back to reality...)
Arthur: Well, maybe D.W. and Kate can go with you!
(Kate puts on a cool pair of sunglasses as she giggles.)
Dad: Look, Arthur, this is going to be great. Just think... the whole family all together for a week!
(As he says that, Kate nabs an orange T-shirt from the suitcase and sucks on it.)
D.W.: Sharky wants to come too! Sharky wants to come too!
(Arthur and the dad both gasp as D.W. enters the living room with her huge inflatable shark pool toy. She knocks over Arthur and the coffee table with it.)
Arthur: Aaah!
D.W.: (smiling) Oops.
(Kate does her trademark laughing as Arthur lies on the suitcase on the couch. He pushes Sharky away and moans.)
~~~
(The scene changes to the master bedroom, where Arthur is now trying to win over the mom as she packs for the trip...)
Arthur: If I'm old enough to take out the trash, aren't I old enough to choose my own vacation?
Mom: (chuckles) You didn't really think THAT was gonna work, did you?
Arthur: It was worth a try, wasn't it?
Mom: That's an idea, though...
(Arthur gasps hopefully.)
Mom: You COULD take out the trash.
Arthur: Awww!
~~~
(Then it fades to that night as the usual nighttime music plays. We see outside the house...)
Arthur: (from inside) Mom? Dad?
Mom: (from inside) (yawns) Arthur?
(Arthur stands by his parents' bed with a flashlight...)
Arthur: It's dangerous at the beach! There's sharks, crabs, and... sharks! I think it'd be a lot safer at camp.
Dad: Arthur, there's nothing to worry about.
Mom: It's gonna be fun.
Dad: And... well, I was gonna surprise you, but I'm taking us all out for lobster dinner! Now, you don't want D.W. to get lobster without you?
Arthur: (grossed out) What?! No way! (cooly) I mean... well, maybe it could be fun.
~~~
(As the second half of the nighttime theme plays, we fade to the following morning, where the Dad has tied their bags and the fully inflated Sharky to the roof of their station wagon.)
Dad: Okay, we're ready! Now, last chance to go to the bathroom.
D.W.: (holding a troll doll) Not me.
Arthur: (raises hand) Me either.
(Kate puts the sunglasses over her eyes again and does her trademark laugh.)
~~~
(Then we cut to the family already on the road. They approach a multilane three-way intersection downtown and stop for a red light, sitting in the left lane next to the Camp Meadowcroak bus. Arthur and Buster look at each other from their vehicles.)
Buster: (waving) Hey!
Arthur: (waving) Look! There's... (now feeling glum) Buster...
(Buster continues to wave happily. The traffic light changes, and the Reads' station wagon makes a left turn while the bus turns right. Arthur looks out the window and gives a disappointed look as he slumps in his seat while they drive onto the highway...)
D.W.: I have to go to the bathroom!
~~~
(The dad sighs and turns off the first highway exit they come across and go to a rest stop. A little later, the dad waits impatiently as D.W. uses the restroom, and then the mom and D.W. get back in the car.)
Dad: Now, does anybody else have to use the bathroom?
Mom: No, dear.
Arthur: Not me.
D.W.: Nope.
Kate: De, de, de, de...
~~~
(They pull out of the rest stop and back onto the highway...)
D.W.: Sharky wants to ride in the car.
Mom: But there isn't any room, honey.
D.W.: Make Arthur ride on the roof!
Arthur: (excited) Can I?
Dad: Sharky's fine right where he is. You'll be playing with him on the beach before you know it!
(Suddenly they skid to a halt as they come up to a huge traffic jam. The family gasps.)
Arthur: Oh no...
Dad: It's, uh, just a little slowdown. We'll be there in no time!
(The traffic jam is shown to be pretty long. Then D.W. notices a nasty odor...)
D.W.: P.U.! What's that awful smell? Did we run over a skunk?
(The children look and see the smell is coming from Baby Kate's diaper, whom is mimicking the car motors...)
D.W.: (pokes out window) GAS CHAMBER! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! (the scream echoes across the highway)
~~~
(Now we cut to another rest area, as Arthur and D.W. are out of the station wagon gasping for air while their mom changes Kate's diaper and they dispose of the stinky one. Then they're back on the road, passing a "TO THE HIGHWAY – SOUTH" sign. Now the mom is behind the wheel.)
D.W.: (whining) I'm hungry!
Dad: We'll eat when we get to the ocean. Just think, guys... lobster!
Arthur: I want a Jiffy Burger!
D.W.: Me too! Me too!
(The parents look unenthusiastic,)
~~~
(They instead simply stop at a generic diner with a sign consisting of a weird logo of a chef's hat with a face on it. Inside the diner, the family sits near a group of tough-looking bikers...)
Waitress: Sorry, we're all out of burgers. They just ordered the last ones! (gestures to the bikers)
Dad: What do you have left?
Waitress: Well, there's "Chef's Surprise."
Mom: Surprises are fun. We'll take four.
Dad: (checking road map) Now, if we don't make any more stops, we should be there in no time.
(D.W. peeks over to the other table and talks to one of the bikers, noticing his tattoo...)
D.W.: Hi! I'm D.W. You're lucky. Your mom lets you draw on your arms!
(The mom gasps, and the biker growls menacingly at D.W. Later, the waitress arrives with their meals...)
Waitress: Surprise!
(The "Chef's Surprise" turns out to be a very unappetizing green glop.)
Arthur: Why couldn't we just go to Jiffy Burger?
(D.W. looks over at the bikers' food...)
D.W.: Mmm, those look good!
~~~
(In the station wagon, we see D.W. eating a burger, while the rest of the family munches on candy bars. A truck with cattle drives by, along with Sharky in it as well.)
Dad: Hey look D.W., somebody else has a shark just like... (a cuckoo sound is heard) Oh... Uh... Honey... (chuckles nervously) Are you sure you tied Arky-shay on ight-tay?
Mom: I thought YOU tied him on. (they look up and see Sharky is gone from the top of the car; Dad gasps)
D.W.: Step on it, dad! We have to save Sharky!
Dad: Now D.W., maybe we can find you ANOTHER shark.
D.W.: AAAAAAAAH! (the dad's eyes bug out in horror) AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Mom: (as D.W. screams) Honey...
Dad: OK, I'm on it, D.W.!
(They speed up and chase the truck.)
~~~
(Later at a gas station, Sharky is re-tied to the car roof...)
Truck driver: Way back there? But that was hours ago!
Dad: Right. Thanks.
(Dad gives the thumbs-up to D.W., who gives it back. Arthur just looks annoyed.)
~~~
(Later, they are driving through a big city...)
Arthur: Are we there yet?
Dad: Almost.
D.W.: (sighs)
Mom: You're gonna LOVE the hotel, kids. There's the ocean, a pool, and Dad booked the Family Fun Suite!
Dad: And tonight, don't forget: lobster!
(Arthur fantasizes it, first of him happily splashing in the hotel swimming pool...)
Mom: (voiceover) Pool...
Arthur: Yay!
Mom: (voiceover) Ocean...
(We then see D.W. relaxing on the beach in a sun hat and sunglasses, sipping a drink, while Sharky also sits next to her in sunglasses, and Baby Kate plays in the sand. Then...)
Mom and Dad: (voiceover) Lobster!
(We see the parents having a romantic lobster dinner by candlelight while in their best clothes.)
~~~
(We then fade back to reality as they pull into the Ocean View Hotel parking lot...)
Dad: We're here!
(They get out of the car with their luggage and talk to the clerk at the hotel office...)
Clerk: If you'd just been here five minutes earlier! We thought you were a no-show, so the Family Fun Suite went to another family. (Arthur groans) Lucky for you, the Ocean View Hotel always has a vacancy!
Arthur: (looks around) Where's the ocean anyway?
Clerk: Over there, behind the shopping center and the high-rise, see it?
Arthur: No.
Clerk: (sighs) If you'd only been here a couple of years earlier...
~~~
(The family is led to their hotel room...)
Clerk: Enjoy your stay!
(Inside the hotel room, it looks particularly small and seedy. There are cinder block walls and hanging pictures coming loose.)
Mom: Gee honey, it's... perfect...
Arthur: Ewwwww!
D.W.: We're staying HERE?!
(The dad puts his suitcase on one of the beds, and the luggage sinks into the cheap lumpy mattress.)
Dad: (gasps) It looks comfortable enough...
(Arthur relaxes on one of the beds, but then yells as D.W. tosses Sharky down onto the bed as well.)
D.W.: Sharky and I don't like this bed!
Arthur: (pushes Sharky off him) Where's MY bed?
Mom: (puts Kate in a crib) You and D.W. will have to share, Arthur.
D.W.: Sharky, too!
Arthur: At camp, I have a bunk bed all to myself.
Dad: Come on. Who wants to go swimming? (pulls out bathing suits)
~~~
(Later, we see Arthur swimming in the pool...)
Arthur: Well, at least we have the whole pool to ourselves! (gasps)
(D.W. puts Sharky into the pool, and Sharky barely fits in such a small pool...)
D.W.: (sarcastic) Yeah, but our bathtub is bigger than this!
Dad: Don't worry guys, tomorrow you'll have a whole ocean to swim in. And tonight... LOBSTER! (rubs his hands together and licks his lips)
~~~
(Now we fade to the seafood restaurant, where a waiter walks up to the family's table doing a fancy walk and holding a platter.)
Dad: Here they come. Quick, kids, close your eyes. (they all do so) OK, you can open your eyes!
(The waiter lifts the lid off the platter to reveal a large red cooked lobster.)
D.W.: AAAAAAAAH! It's a giant bug!
Arthur: How are you supposed to eat these things anyway?!
D.W.: (stands up on her seat) I want a hot dog, and no claws!
Mom: (sternly) D.W., sit! You can have a hot dog tomorrow when we're at the beach.
(Outside the restaurant window, lightning flashes with loud thunder as a storm begins. Arthur does not look amused.)
~~~
(The storm continues into the night, as the family sleeps in their hotel room. The ceiling begins to leak on Arthur...)
Arthur: Huh? Oh, great. (puts Sharky's fin over him as an umbrella)
~~~
(We then fade to the hotel in the morning. It's still raining. In the room, the parents and Arthur sit on their beds, and D.W. smacks a rolled-up newspaper against the heater in annoyance.)
D.W.: Still raining! (a fly buzzes in, and D.W. chases it) Fly!
Dad: If we'd stayed home, I could've catered that big party.
Mom: I should've brought some work along.
Arthur: If I were at camp, I'd be canoeing and hiking and swimming with Buster.
D.W.: (chasing fly) You can't do that when it rains! (points newspaper at Arthur)
Arthur: No, but we always find fun stuff to do, like the time Buster and I went to the pond...
(The fly briefly lands on Arthur, and D.W. swats him as the fly takes off.)
D.W.: Oops. Missed.
Arthur: D.W., give me that! (D.W. runs off and throws the paper into Arthur's hands, then cowers in a corner) D.W., I'm going to... (stops and sees something in the paper) Wait a minute. Hmm...
D.W.: What are you doing?
Arthur: (seeing a picture of cows in the paper) I've got an idea!
~~~
(Now we cut to a sign for a cow festival in the rain with a grinning cow's head on it, as bluegrass banjos play and cows moo. The family walks around with an umbrella and camera.)
Cows: Mooooo! ... Uhmoo!
Mom: I never heard of a cow festival before. Good idea, Arthur!
(The dad takes a picture of Arthur and D.W. in their rain gear standing in front of a cow. The truck driver from earlier is seen feeding a cow.)
Truck Driver: Hey, nice to see you folks again! I see your shark still likes cows!
(We see Sharky in the cow truck again as the cows moo.)
~~~
(Then we fade to the next day, at Flo's Fudge Factory. Inside, the family is on tour of the factory, with a security guard behind them...)
Baker lady: And that completes the story of how Flo's fabulous fudge is made. Please feel free to sample Flo's famous fudge, and only one fudge sample per customer please!
Arthur and D.W.: Free samples!
(Each grabs a sample, but D.W. grabs a whole bunch, and then the guard glares at her.)
D.W.: Oops...
~~~
(As a music piece plays, we see the family and "Sharky" going on boat ride in a jungle setting in the rain. A robot snake comes down from the boat.)
Arthur and D.W.: AAAAH! GET HIM, SHARKY!
Arthur: Wow, this IS neat.
D.W.: I get to choose the next field trip!
~~~
(Now we see a peaceful scene of a man looking like Mr. Sipple on a duck float in the ocean. But then a shark fin appears in the water as low-pitched Jaws-esque horror music plays, and the shark is about to bite on the man's legs. It turns out that this is a movie, and the family is watching it at the cinema. Arthur and D.W. are both horrified, as D.W. screams.)
Arthur: I can't believe you chose this movie!
D.W.: AAAAAAAAH! Don't look at me! It was Sharky's idea!
(She gestures to Sharky sitting in the seat next to them.)
~~~
(Then we fade to Friday morning outside the hotel. Some birds fly past as "Sharky" sits outside the room. It's a nice sunny day, and Arthur opens the curtains...)
Arthur: Sun!
~~~
(Now we cut to the Reads at the beach, enjoying it and having fun. The mom is putting sunscreen on Baby Kate.)
Mom: Just glorious! (Kate giggles)
(Dad takes a picture of Mom and Kate, and then sees Arthur burying D.W. and "Sharky" in the sand.)
D.W.: Arthur, this is not funny!
Dad: Didn't I tell everyone this was gonna be a great vacation?
Arthur: And you were right!
Dad: Uh hold it, kids!
(The shutter clicks.)
~~~
(Now we see the photo being held in Buster's hands the next day back at Arthur's house in Elwood City as Arthur is unpacking seashells.)
Buster: Wow, great vacation!
Arthur: It sure was. How was camp?
Buster: Ah, it was OK. Until the hurricane hit. Then lightning completely demolished the mess hall! But no one even got hurt. And the lake got contaminated by bacteria, so we couldn't swim...
(Buster's voice fades out under the music as the episode ends.)