Selected Scenes


(Arthur talks to Buster, who is packing his suitcase).

Arthur: We leave for the beach tomorrow morning, Buster. I’m gonna be so bored.

Buster: Board. Why didn’t I think of that?

Arthur: You got an idea?

Buster: No, my skateboard. I almost forgot it.


Arthur: If I'm old enough to take out the trash, aren't I old enough to choose my own vacation?

Mrs. Read: You didn't really think that was gonna work, did you?

Arthur: It was worth a try, wasn't it?

Mrs. Read: That's an idea, though... (Arthur gasps and looks up hopefully.) You could take out the trash!

Arthur: Aw!


(the car is stuck in traffic)

Mr. Read: It's just a little slow down. We'll be there in no time.

(D.W. is sitting in the back seat. She notices a peculiar smell and sniffs the air before holding her nose in disgust)

D.W.: P.U.! What's that awful smell?! Did we run over a skunk?

(the camera zooms in on Kate imitating the car motors. The smell is coming from her used diaper)

D.W.: Gas chamber! AAAAHHHH! (echoing) AAAAHHHH!

(David pulls the car over to a rest stop. Arthur and D.W. run to a nearby picnic table gasping for air. Jane changes Kate's dirty diaper and throws it away.)

D.W.: (looking at the used diaper) Peeee youuu!


(the diner)

(D.W. is trying to get hamburgers from the biker guy)

D.W.: Hi, I'm D.W. You're lucky your mom lets you draw on your arms!

Mrs. Read: (gasps)

Biker Guy: (growls in annoyance)


(The Reads arrive at their hotel.)

Clerk: If you’d been here five minutes earlier. We thought you were a no-show so the family fun suite went to another family.

Arthur: (sighs)

Clerk: Lucky for you the ocean view hotel always has a vacancy.

Arthur: Where is the ocean anyway?

Clerk: Over there behind the shopping center and the high-rise. See it?

Arthur: No.

Clerk: (sighs) If you’d only been here a couple of years earlier.


(the Lobster Shack)

(The waiter takes the Reads' order and brings the lobsters over to their table)

Mr. Read: Here they come! Quick, kids! Close your eyes!

(D.W. is scared of the lobster at first and disgusted by the lobster.)


(Arthur is disgusted by the lobster.)

Arthur: How are you supposed to eat these things anyway?!

(D.W. whines, complains and defiantly states that she wants a hot dog. She is trying to throw a tantrum so that she can get a hot dog)

D.W.: I want a hot dog! And no claws!

(Jane is disgusted by the lobster. She realizes that D.W. is trying to throw a tantrum so that she can get a hot dog, so she gets angry at D.W. over her bad behavior as well.)

Mrs. Read: D.W., sit! You can have a hot dog tomorrow when we're at the beach!

(Lightning flashes outside the hotel, and Arthur does not appear amused. Later, the family is trying to sleep in their hotel room as it storms heavily outside. The ceiling starts to leak on Arthur...)

Arthur: Huh? Oh, great. (uses Sharky's fin as an umbrella)

(The next morning, the rain continues...)

D.W.: It's still raining. Fly! (goes after it with a rolled-up newspaper)

Mr. Read: If we had stayed home, I could've catered that big party.

Mrs. Read: I should've brought some work along.

Arthur: If I were at camp, I'd be canoeing, hiking, and swimming with Buster.

D.W.: (points newspaper at Arthur) You can't do that when it rains.

Arthur: No, but we always find fun stuff to do, like the time Buster and I went to the pond.


(Arthur and D.W. are watching “Jaws” and cringing in their seats.)

Arthur: I can’t believe you chose this movie!

D.W.: Don't look at me. It was Sharky’s idea. (The inflated shark is in the next seat.)

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