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Introduction

[At the Lakewood soccer field, Binky runs up to Arthur, who's surrounded by Buster, Muffy, Francine, Brain, Sue Ellen, George, Jenna and Alex. Almost all of them have chocolate on their faces.]

Binky: Way to lose, Arthur!

Brain: For a second there, I thought you were going to win!

Muffy: Not me, I always knew he would lose. [She takes a bite of chocolate.]

Francine: I'm so glad you did!

Buster: (wipes chocolate from his mouth) Mmm, me too! You're a great loser, Arthur!

Arthur: Well, I couldn't have done it without all of your help! Especially you, Buster!

Buster: Aw, it was nothing. What are friends for?

Francine: Three cheers for Arthur the Loser! (Everyone lifts up Arthur and walks down the field.)

Everyone: Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray!

Arthur: (to the camera) Do you like riddles? I sure do. See if you can get this one: When is it better to be a loser, than a winner? (the camera pans out, revealing that Arthur and his friends are being shown on television.)

Everyone: Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! (Arthur is sitting on the couch in his living room, watching T.V. and eating Choco-Sticks. He waves at the T.V.)

Arthur: Hi, Arthur!

Arthur (on T.V.): You've got chocolate all over your face!

Arthur: Oh. (He wipes the chocolate off his face with his sleeve. He talks to the camera.) Well, got any ideas?  Write them down. Then, at the end of the show, see if you've solved the riddle. Who knows? You could be a loser, too!

Title Card: Hide and Seek[]

Arthur and Buster play with fish-shaped action figures in the Baxters’ living room.

Buster: (holds up an action figure with its right arm broken off.) You broke my Mackerel Man!

Arthur: I thought his fin came off! Cyber Cod's fin comes off. (holds up an action figure, and takes its arm off and puts it back on.)

Buster: You owe me a new one!

Arthur: No, I don't!

T.V. Announcer: And now it's time for another fun and exciting round of Riddle Quest! (On the TV screen, glistening question marks are shown. The title appears, and then the question marks start moving around.)

Buster: (turns to the T.V.) We  have to stop fighting. It's time for Riddle Quest!

Arthur: Riddle Quest? What's that?

Buster: It's this really cool game show where kids answer riddles and win big prizes! (He and Arthur sit down in an armchair. The show cuts to the stage, where a boy and a girl each stand behind a podium.

T.V. Announcer: And here's your host, Alex Lebeck! (Alex Lebeck walks onto the stage and goes behind his podium.)

Alex Lebeck: Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to Riddle Quest. I'm here with our reigning champion, Charlotte Bickles.

(The audience applauds, and Charlotte smiles and closes his eyes.)

Buster: She's been the champ for weeks, now. No one can beat her!

Arthur: Big deal!

Alex Lebeck: I am a kind of band that does not make music. What am I?

Buster: Uh, a band of rocks!

Arthur: A rubber band.

Charlotte:  (pings bell) You are a rubber band.

Alex Lebeck: That's correct. (Buster glances at Arthur. On the TV, Alex Lebeck reads from a card.) I am a king, but I'm also a common measuring device. What am I?

Arthur: A ruler.

Charlotte: (pings bell) You are a ruler.

Alex Lebeck: Right again!

Buster: (turns to Arthur)  Hey, you're really good at this!

Alex Lebeck: All right, Charlotte and Andy, are you two ready for your final, really big riddle?

(Part of the wall lifts up, and an animatronic woman resembling a Greek goddess appears.)

Animatronic Woman: When I fill a pitcher, I make it lighter than when it's filled with air. What am I?

(Andy looks nervous. Charlotte looks thoughtful.)

Charlotte: Hmm.

Arthur: Holes.

Charlotte: (pings bell) You are holes! (balloons, streamers and confetti rain down on the stage. Charlotte raises her arms and giggles.)

Charlotte: (giggling)

Alex Lebeck: Congratulations, Charlotte! You have won again, and that means we'll be seeing you next week, right here on Riddle Quest!

T.V. Announcer: All runners-up will receive 100 boxes of Choco-Sticks! (A box of Choco-Sticks appears on the screen.) The chocolate stick that's fun to lick!

Buster: Arthur, you got the answers much quicker than Charlotte Bickles!  If you were on that show, you would have won!

T.V. Announcer: If you'd like to be on Riddle Quest, send your name and address to Riddle Quest Studios! (Buster writes on a piece of paper.)

~~~

(Arthur and Buster walk down a sidewalk, Arthur carrying a Frisbee and Buster carrying an envelope.)

Arthur: This is ridiculous! You know how many kids must try to get on that show?

Buster: You never know, Arthur. Stranger things have happened. I got an A on yesterday's math quiz!

Arthur: Yeah, but you studied really hard for that quiz.

Buster: See what I mean? I NEVER study! (They stop at a mailbox.) So why did I choose to study for THAT quiz? Ha! Life is very weird!

(He puts the envelope into the mailbox. From inside the mailbox, we see the envelope fall in, and then later, the mailbox is opened up by a mail carrier, who puts the envelopes into his bag.)

~~~

(In an office building, Alex Lebeck is sitting at his desk, having his hair cut. The doors open, and a man walks in carrying a bag.)

Man: New applicants, Mr. Lebeck!

Alex Lebeck: All right, bring 'em here.

(The man puts the bag down on the desk. Lebeck walks over to a jester statue which is holding out one hand. He dumps the envelopes over the hand and one envelope remains in it. Lebeck takes that one.)

Alex Lebeck: Let's see...Arthur Read. Fine, book him for next week. (He hands the envelope to the man.)

~~~

[At Lakewood Elementary, Arthur is in the cafeteria, looking at a letter from Riddle Quest.]

Binky: YOU'RE going to be on a game show? Why do they want YOU?

Buster: Because he's the best riddle-answerer ever! That's why!

Arthur: No, I'm not!

Francine: Don't let anybody else know that. To win, you've got to act really confident.

Arthur: Why?

Francine: That's how competition works. You've got to psych out your opponent. Even if she's way better than you could ever hope to be.

Binky: Hey, Arthur, are you still gonna be friends with us when you're rich and famous?

Muffy: Yeah. Sometimes, rich people can be real snobs. [Arthur stands up.]

Arthur: Look, would everyone just calm down? I haven't won anything yet! [George and Alex, who are at another table, turn and look towards Arthur.]

Muffy: I hope he's not going to wear his silly bowtie on the show every week!

Buster: I was thinking of a red cape. Maybe with a mask! (He puts his thumbs and index fingers around his eyes, mimicking a mask. Arthur rolls his eyes.)

~~~

(D.W. is guiding Arthur by the hand down a sidewalk.)

Arthur: I can't believe I let you talk me into this. This is such a dumb idea!

D.W.: Arthur, these kids are masters at riddles! You'll thank me later. (She rings a doorbell. The door opens, and Tommy and Timmy Tibble appear, looking mischievous.)

~~~

(Inside the Tibbles' house, D.W. is on the floor, coloring in a coloring book.)

D.W.: (Humming)

Timmy: What's black and white and red all over?

Arthur: (sighs) A newspaper.

Tommy: No; a penguin holding its breath. (His cheeks are puffed out, and are flushed. He exhales.)

Tommy + Timmy: (laughing)

Arthur: Hey, my answer was right, too

Timmy: I'm sorry, D.W.  We can't help him. He's terrible!

Timmy: We've asked him almost twenty riddles, and he's gotten them all wrong! (D.W. clasps her hands together.)

D.W. (pleadingly): Oh, please, don't give up on him! He's my only brother! (Arthur rolls his eyes.)

Arthur: But these are just dopey kids' riddles! They're not the kind on Riddle Quest!

D.W.: How do you know, Arthur? They could ask you anything!

~~~

Arthur and Buster stand in front of the Baxters’ TV.

Buster: She's right, Arthur. Look! This was last week's final round between Charlotte Bickles and Floyd Peterson (he turns the TV on with a remote control.)

Animatronic Wizard: I am a pet that is always found on the floor. What am I?

Charlotte: (buzzes buzzer)  You are a carpet.

Alex Lebeck: That's correct.

Charlotte: (giggling) (Buster pauses the show.)

Buster: See? That was just a dopey kids' riddle, but she got it right anyway! Boy, is she good! Now let's watch her bout with Sammy Liston. 

Arthur: (looks out the window) But it's sunny out. I want to go for a bike ride. 

Buster: Arthur, do you want to beat Charlotte Bickles or not?! 

Arthur: Well, yeah, but...

Buster: Then you've got to know her! You've got to eat, sleep and think like her! (he points to Charlotte on the TV screen)  It's the only way you can win!

Arthur: Okay, okay, I'll watch. (He sits down in the armchair.)

~~~

[Later in the Reads’ kitchen, Arthur practices pinging a bell while Francine times him with a stopwatch.]

Francine: Stop! (checks a stopwatch) 45 pings in a minute. Not bad. Let's try the left hand.

(Arthur pings the bell repeatedly with his left hand.)

~~~

Later, Arthur stands in the Crosswire’s living room. Muffy is sitting in a director’s chair, wearing a beret and holding a megaphone.

Arthur: She sells seashells by the "sheshore".

Muffy: Seashore, SEAshore! You've got to enunciate. You're going to be on T.V., Arthur! Do it again.

Arthur: (sighs) She sells seashells by the seashore.

~~~

(Arthur, Buster, Binky, Francine and Muffy are at the school cafeteria. Binky is reading from a book.)

Binky: Cow and pogo stick.

Arthur: You are a milkshake.

Binky: Lemon and cat.

(Arthur looks exhausted.)

Arthur: You are a sourpuss. (The school-bell rings. Arthur slams his hand down on his dessert. He gets jelly all over his hand and onto his shirt.)  

Buster: I think he's ready.

~~~

(Arthur is in bed, having a bad dream.)

Arthur: Must...answer...riddles...

(In Arthur's dream, he's sleeping on a riverbank, under a tree.)

Buster: Arthur, wake up! We're late!

Arthur: Huh? What are you doing, Buster? (Buster is wearing a checkered coat and is pounding a pocket watch with a hammer.)

Buster: Trying to beat the clock.  But it's not working. Come on, follow me! (He runs off. He is not wearing pants and his bunny tail is showing.)

Arthur: Hey, wait! Why are you dressed so funny?

Buster: No time to explain, Arthur! (Arthur runs after him.) We're late! Ooh, we've very late!

(He jumps into a hole in the ground and Arthur follows.. They break through clouds and land at a table. The setting resembles the tea party in Alice in Wonderland. D.W. wearing a mask looking like a mouse snout and has big mouse ears. Next to her are the Tibbles, dressed as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum and Francine, dressed as the Mad Hatter. She looks up.)

Francine: Hmm. There seems to be a break in the clouds.  You better fix it, Tibble Dee and Tibble Dum.

Timmy+Tommy: Don't ask us, we're all thumbs! (They hold up their hands, and all their fingers are thumbs.)

Arthur: What's going on? Where am I?

Francine: You're in Riddle Land, where everything's a riddle. What would you like with your "T"? (She holds up a giant letter "T".)

Arthur: I don't want any tea; I want to go home!

Charlotte: Not until you answer this riddle:  Is the sentence "This statement is false" true or false? (She resembles the Queen of Hearts, and is holding a red question mark, where the dot is a heart .)

Arthur: Uh, true! No, false! I don't know!

Charlotte: Of course you don't. There's no answer! (laughs meanly)

Arthur: I want to go home! [The dream sequence ends and Arthur is shown in his bed.]

I want to go home. I want to go home... (muttering) [D.W. shakes him by the arm.]

D.W.: Arthur, wake up!  Today's the big day!  [Arthur wakes up and puts on his glasses.]

Arthur: Oh, it was just a dream.  Phew.

D.W.: Want me to ask you some riddles while you're getting dressed?

Arthur: No!

~~~

[Grandma Thora, D.W. and Kate are shown looking out the kitchen window. Francine and Buster are in the yard, talking to Arthur, who's wearing his suit and bow tie.]

Francine: Bye, Arthur. It's been nice knowing you. We'll watch you every week. 

Arthur: I'll be home this afternoon.

Buster: But when you win, you'll have to go back again and again. You might even have to change schools!

Arthur: Well, maybe I won't win.

Francine: Not a chance!  We've trained you too well! [She and Buster give Arthur a hug.]

~~~

[The outside of Riddle Quest Studios is shown. Inside, Arthur, David and Jane are sitting on a couch, waiting. Charlotte and her parents are on another couch. Charlotte glares at Arthur.]

Arthur: (gulps) [A woman wearing a headset opens the door.]

Sally: You're on, kids! [David straightens Arthur's bowtie. Jane puts her hands on Arthur's shoulders.]

Jane: Remember, Arthur, whatever happens, we love you.

Charlotte (looking bored): (yawns) Thanks, Sally. [She and Arthur get up and walk through the door.]

~~~

[On the stage, Alex Lebeck, Arthur and Charlotte stand behind their respective podiums.]

Alex Lebeck: All right, here's your first riddle.  I'm always coming, but I never arrive.  What am I? [Arthur pings his bell.]  Arthur?

Arthur: You are "tomorrow"?

Alex Lebeck: That's correct!  Well done. [A points-indicator on the front of Arthur's podium shows "5." [Buster, Muffy, Francine, Brain, Binky,  Jenna, Alex and Maria are watching the show on TV. They cheer.]

Francine: Go, Arthur!

Buster [wiping a tear from his eyes]: I miss him already!

Charlotte: (pings bell) You are a swordfish. [Her points indicator goes to 5.](Audience applauds and cheers) [She and Arthur glance at each other.]

Arthur: (pings bell) You are a snow bank. [His points indicator goes to "15".]

Alex Lebeck: That's correct. Next question. I am a nut that has no shell. What am I?

Arthur: (pings bell) You are a doughnut. 

Alex Lebeck: Right again! [Arthur's points indicator goes to "50"].   Next question. I have a hundred limbs, but I can't walk. What am I?

Charlotte: (pings bell) You are a tree. [Her points indicator goes to "70".]

Alex Lebeck: That's correct. Next question.  I am a chair for an amphibian. What am I? [Arthur and Charlotte glance towards each other. They both ping their bells.]

Arthur + Charlotte: You are a toadstool! [They look at each other.Their point indicator both read "90".]

Alex Lebeck: The score is tied, and so, Arthur and Charlotte, are you two ready for your really big riddle? And keep in mind, now, this is the riddle that will decide who is the champion of Riddle Quest! [The wall lifts up, revealing an animatronic Sphinx.]

Animatronic Sphinx: I occur once in a second, twice in a week, and once in a year. What am I?

Arthur (thinking): Hmm. second...week...year. I've got it! It's the letter "E"! [He puts his hand over the bell, then pauses.] Wait a minute.  What if Buster's right?  What if I AM better at riddles than Charlotte? I could be on this dumb show for years!

[Arthur imagines himself and Alex Lebeck on the show as elderly people. Instead of a podium, Lebeck is using a walker with a microphone attached.]

Alex Lebeck: I'm purple and I go: "Hmmm." What am I? [Arthur pings the bells with a cane.]

Arthur: I...I forget!

Alex Lebeck: Huh? Hmm, so, so do I. [He throws aside his card.]  Oh well, we'll give it to you anyway. (Applause and cheering) [Arthur does a dance, holding his cane up in the air. The fantasy ends.] (bell pings)

Arthur: Huh?

Charlotte: You are the letter "E".

Alex Lebeck: That is correct! And Charlotte Bickles, you win again! (balloons, confetti and streamers rain down.)

Charlotte: (giggling)

T.V. Announcer: All runners-up will receive 100 boxes  of Choco-Sticks! (a box of Choco-Sticks appears.) The chocolate stick that's fun to lick!

~~~

[as in the introduction, Arthur is again shown being lifted up by his friends on the soccer field.]

Everyone: Arthur! Arthur!

Francine: Three cheers for Arthur the loser!

Everyone: Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip Hooray! [A giant box of Choco-Sticks lies on the ground.]

Arthur(to the camera): Well, did you answer the riddle right? I hope not. If you did, you've been watching too many game shows!  [He takes a bite from his Choco-Sticks.]


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