Arthur and the True Francine[]
Introduction[]
Francine is seen through Arthur's bedroom window as she climbs the tree in the Reads' yard in her pajamas.
Francine: Augh! Oof.
She falls off as Arthur walks around. Arthur looks outside at Pal who barks.
Arthur: Pal. Shoosh.
As Arthur is outside talking to Pal, Francine climbs in his room. Arthur picks up Pal.
Inside Arthur’s room Francine looks around, then smiles. As Arthur walks into the house, she searches his drawers and takes out a pair of underwear.
Francine: Ew! She drops the underwear and grabs two socks. Pal is heard barking. Arthur comes up the stairs. (gasps)
Arthur opens the door to his room.
Arthur: See, there's nothing there.
Pal barks at Francine, who waves at him from outside the window before she disappears.
***
Muffy, Fern and Sue Ellen are unrolling sleeping bags in the Frenskys’ living room. Francine comes with the socks.
Francine: I did it!
She sits down on the couch.
Muffy: No way! Let me see!
She takes one of the socks.
Francine: Your turn, Muffy. Truth or dare.
Muffy: Truth.
Fern: Okay, um, have you ever told a lie?
Muffy: What kind of question is that? Me? Tell a lie? Not once in my whole life. Not once in the whole history of my life. Francine looks surprised, then sad. Not once in the whole history of my family's life. If you only knew how Crosswires feel about lying, if you knew how we suffered for our principles...
Francine: Muffy!
Muffy: What?
Francine: Aren't you forgetting when you first came to our school, back in second grade?
Muffy blushes.
Title Card: Francine Bangs Gong[]
Binky: (voice) Arthur and the True Francine.
The rest of the episode takes place in Arthur’s second school year. The kids are goofing around in Mr. Marco’s classroom.
Class: (talk loudly)
Brain stands guard at the door and gets hit by a crumpled piece of paper.
Brain: Here he comes!
Everybody is quiet and reads. Mr. Marco comes in.
Mr. Marco: I'm glad to see you haven't forgotten Friday's math test. But if I can interrupt you for just a moment, I'd like you to meet our newest student. This is Muffy Crosswire. Muffy stands beside him wearing what looks like a school uniform. Her butler James (later renamed Bailey) follows her carrying boxes. Miss Crosswire, these are your future friends and classmates. Perhaps you'd like to say a few words about yourself.
Muffy: Yes, I would, in fact. James, are you all set? James has brought a TV set on a cart. He gives a thumbs up. Hit it.
The TV shows Mr. Crosswire walking from the sea onto a beach.
Muffy: Seventy-five years ago, a young man came to these shores with a dream in his heart. That young man was my great-grandfather, Edsel E. Crosswire. And so from humble beginnings...
The hands on the clock move from 9:20 to 3:20
Muffy: ...to unprecedented glory, the Crosswire empire rolls onwards, a shiny beacon and inspiration to all.
Brain: (snores)
Muffy stops the video.
Mr. Marco: Thank you. I'd like you to turn to your math books.
A baby’s crying is heard. Muffy has started a second video.
Muffy: Part Two: I am born. Mr. Marco takes the remote away.
Mr. Marco: Perhaps another time, Miss Crosswire. You may take your seat.
He turns off the TV.
***
Buster sits on a ball in the school playground. Brain crouches next to him.
Buster: Who invited her?
Brain: (sighs) Francine.
Francine comes with Muffy.
Francine: So when the ball reaches here, you kick it...
She kicks the ball from under Buster.
Buster: Oh!
Francine: ...and then run around the bases. (giggles)
Muffy: Why?
Francine: That's how you play.
Muffy: Aren't there horses or prizes or anything? Because at my old school, we...
Buster: You're not at your old school, smartypants! You're at plain old Lakewood Elementary!
Muffy: Miss Mary Alice Smartypants to you!
Francine: Ahh! Your middle name is Alice? That's my middle name.
Muffy: No. How do you spell it?
Francine: A-L-I-C-E.
Muffy: (gasps) Me too.
They have a fantasy in which three angels are singing while they dance wearing long shirts and halos.
Buster: Are you guys playing or not?
The fantasy bubble pops.
Francine+Muffy: Huh? Hmm!
They walk away arm in arm.
Buster: Oh... girls!
***
Francine and Muffy walk along a corridor in the Crosswire Mansion.
Muffy: I've never had a best friend before.
Francine: Hehe. Me neither.
Muffy: These are my treasures. She opens the door to a room with a huge TV screen, a basketball hoop and lots of toys. I've been everywhere in the world.
Francine: I've been to my grandmother's house. She lives in...
Muffy: See this bracelet? I got it from a cannibal in Antarctica. It's one of a kind.
Francine: Whoa, it's beautiful.
Muffy: You can have it. I have another one just like it. Now, would you like to visit my zoo or swim in my bath tub?
***
Francine studies her math notes in front of an indoor pool with a fountain. Muffy comes out the water and puts a starfish on the notes.
Muffy: Look what I found!
Francine: We really should study, you know. There's a math test on Friday.
Muffy: I don't need to study math. At my old school, I taught math.
Francine: Really?
Muffy rides on a boat that looks like a dolphin.
Muffy: Yeah, and I taught addition, and that thing when you take something away from something else.
Francine: Huh?
Muffy: You know, where have one number that's bigger and you do something to it and it gets smaller?
Francine: Subtraction.
Muffy comes out of the water.
Muffy: Right. That's what I taught. Let's go do some wheelies.
Francine: I didn't bring my bike.
Muffy: Bikes?
***
Francine and Muffy sit in the back of the Crosswire limousine.
Muffy: Ready? Okay, James. Hit it!
The limousine does a wheelie in front of the mansion.
Francine+Muffy: Oh! Whee!
***
Francine sits at a table in the library admiring her new bracelet.
Buster: You like this new girl, huh?
Francine: Yeah. Just give her a chance.
Muffy comes.
Muffy: The librarian said we could watch videos if we were quiet. And the chauffeur will bring us popcorn.
Buster: All right!
Miss Turner: Buster, shh!
Francine: We have to study, Muffy. The test is tomorrow.
Muffy: I know this stuff backwards and forwards. You coming, Buster?
Buster: Sure.
He closes his book, making a cloud of dust, and walks away with Muffy.
Francine: You should study.
***
On Friday morning Mr. Marco hands out the tests.
Buster: Two plus two is... He gets his test. Oh no!
Mr. Marco: All right, everyone. Forty questions. Starting... The small hand reaches nine o’clock. ...now!
Buster: Mm. Ohh! Um...
***
Mr. Marco collects the tests.
Mr. Marco: This looks excellent, Muffy. You've obviously been studying. He takes Francine’s test and frowns. May I see the two of you up front?
Mr. Marco has put both tests on his desk. Both girls have got all answers right, but there are several corrections on each test which are identical.
Mr. Marco: As you can see, these tests are exactly the same.
The girls look at each other.
Francine: (gasps)
Muffy: Well, don't look at me! I wouldn't dream of cheating, not in a million years! Not in ten million years! Not...
Mr. Marco:(sternly) Francine? Can you explain this?
Francine: No! I just... I didn't...
Mr. Marco: If there's one thing I won't tolerate...
He gives a stern look at Buster who is using the pencil sharpener next to the teacher’s desk.
Buster: I'm just sharpening my pencil. (laughs nervously)
He runs to his seat.
Mr. Marco: ...it's cheating. Francine, I'll see you after school, starting today and all of next week.
Francine: What? Me? But that's not fair!
Mr. Marco: You may return to your seats.
***
Muffy, Arthur, Brain, Fern and Buster sit in the Sugar Bowl.
Fern: Francine cheating? It doesn't seem possible.
Buster: Are you kidding? She copies off me all the time.
Fern: Then how come she gets better grades than you?
Buster: That's what I'd like to know!
Arthur: Aren’t you all forgetting something? If Francine's punished, then she can't play in the softball game against...
Kids: Mighty Mountain. The kids imagination shows a Mighty Mountain player hitting the ball past a sign saying Home 200, Visitors 0. It changes to Home 201. The fantasy ends. The kids walk home.
Arthur: And without Francine...
Buster: ...we are doomed.
Muffy: I don't like to brag, but it just so happens I've won a million blue ribbons for softball. I even won the National Softball Kickoff. So I just want you to know... Francine walks by on the other side of the street. (quietly:) ...you can count on me.
They all look sadly at Francine. Francine walks on.
***
As Francine walks on the Crosswire limousine pulls alongside her. Muffy rolls down the window.
Muffy: Francine, do you want a ride?
Francine: No, thank you.
She walks faster.
Muffy: I didn't mean to get you in trouble, but I can't let people think I'm some kind of... cheater. I'm a Crosswire.
Francine stops.
Francine: So I'm supposed to take the blame? Is that why you pretended to like me?
Muffy: How can you say that? I gave you my bracelet! Don't you think that meant something?
Francine gives Muffy the bracelet.
Francine: You're right, it did. It meant we were friends.
***
On Francine’s desk at school are presents and a balloon saying “From Your Friend Muffy”. Francine pops the balloon and throws the presents in the trash.
***
Buster, Muffy, Brain and Jenna sit at a table in the cafeteria.
Buster: Did you ask Mr. Marco if Francine could play in the game?
Brain: Yeah. He said forget it. She's still being punished.
Buster: Oh well, at least we've got Muffy. See you outside, slugger.
He leaves with Brain. Francine sits alone at another table.
***
Francine sits in detention in the basement. The teacher who is supposed to watch her detention sits at her desk and snores.
Teacher: (snores)
Francine stands on a chair and looks out of the high window at her friends warming up for the match.
Francine: (sighs) The ball lands right outside the window. Muffy comes to pick it up. Muffy?
Muffy looks embarrassed.
The others stand on the field.
Buster: Oh-oh!
The Mighty Mountain players come out of their bus. One of them hits a ball into space where it hits the flying saucer of a dozing alien.
Alien: Oh!
***
In the ninth inning a Lakewood teacher tallies the score.
Teacher: So that makes Mighty Mountain twelve, Lakewood Elementary zero.
Arthur: It's up to you, Muffy.
Muffy points at home plate.
Muffy: I'm not playing until someone vacuums this. I can't work in these conditions.
Buster: Quit stalling. We need a hit and we need it now. Muffy holds the bat at the wrong end. What are you doing??
Muffy: This is how we always played in my old school.
MM Players: (laugh)
Buster corrects Muffy’s grip.
MM Pitcher: Is the little princess ready?
Buster: Just wait till you see... The first ball flies by Muffy. ...how good she is.
Muffy: You're supposed to warn me when a ball is coming! She looks determined, but the second ball also flies by her.
MM Catcher: Strike two!
Buster: You said you had blue ribbons!
Muffy takes a wild swing at the third ball and falls down.
Muffy: (gasps)
Buster covers his eyes.
Arthur: We'll never live this down.
Fern: The only person who can hit against them is Francine.
Muffy: I have an idea.
She looks at Francine at the window.
***
Muffy comes into the detention room. The teacher is still asleep.
Muffy: You're up, Francine. They really need you out there.
Francine: You know I'm not allowed to play.
Muffy: You are now. I just told Mr. Marco the truth about who cheated.
Francine: You did? Muffy hands Francine the bat.
Muffy: Yeah, and I'm being punished for two whole weeks. Which is totally unfair.
Francine: Yeah! Yippee!
Muffy: Francine, I know you're mad at me, but I want you to have this.
She gives Francine a box. Francine runs out of the school. Outside she opens the box and finds the bracelet inside. She and Muffy smile at each other.
***
A ball flies past Buster.
MM Catcher: Strike One!
Buster: Do you call that a pitch?! My grandmother walks faster. He swings at the second ball and falls down. Oh!
Francine comes running towards them.
Lakewood Players: Hooray! Francine! Francine! Francine! Francine! Francine!
Francine steps up to bat. The pitcher appears in her eye. She hits the ball.
Francine: (grunts)
Mr. Haney just comes out of the school carrying a pile of books. He drops all except one which he holds over his head.
Mr. Haney: Oh. Ohhh!
Francine’s ball narrowly misses him. It rolls in front of the basement window where Muffy smiles.
***
Muffy waits in front of the school after detention. Francine comes with her bicycle and rings the bell.
Francine: Wanna ride? You can sit in the basket?
She holds up her arm with the bracelet. Muffy looks doubtful for a moment but then smiles and gets into the basket in front of the handlebar.
Muffy: Did you win the game?
Francine: No, but I scored two runs. She rides while Muffy holds her hand in front of her eyes. And we decided something, too. The team, I mean. We want you to play with us. We decided you can be score-keeper. But you have to learn to add.
Muffy peeps between her fingers, then closes her eyes again.
Muffy: (gasps)
Francine: And there's one more thing.
Muffy: What's that?
Francine: No cheating! The limousine follows the bike.