Introduction[]
Arthur, Buster, Muffy, Beulah, and three more kids stand around a table with TV chef François Puffeau who is stirring dough.
Mr. Puffeau: Today we make the most important food the world has ever known. Who can tell me what this food is?
Buster: The potato chip?
Muffy: Chickin Lickin's chix-stix with cheddarola?
Arthur: A fancy pastry filled with fruit?
Mr. Puffeau: No, no, no, no, no. The "chip" is filled with the trans fats. Very unhealthy, mon ami! Better you should eat dirt! Mademoiselle, if you mention the name of this "Chickin Lickin’" in my class again, you will be asked to leave. Monsieur Read, I will teach you to make the fruit pastry as promised, but you must learn to crawl before you walk. No, today, we make bread. Flour, water, yeast. And a little pinch of salt.
He adds salt and goes on talking.
Arthur: Aw. I'm never gonna make something for my dad in time for his birthday.
Muffy: Chef Puffeau is a genius. He cannot be rushed.
Buster: How do we know he's a genius? We've been in this class for two weeks and I haven't tasted a cookie.
Muffy: He's famous. Didn't you ever see “Preparing with Puffeau”?
Arthur: My dad watched that show. It was cancelled when Puffeau yelled at the audience for clapping too loudly and ruining his soufflé.
Mr. Puffeau: Et voila! We let the dough rise, we bake it, and finally, we have this.
He holds up bread.
Buster: Can I taste it?
Mr. Puffeau: No! This class is not about this. It is about this. He points at the dough. The process. The journey!
Buster: So... can I taste this?
Title Card: Car Gets Towed[]
Muffy sits in the limousine in front of the Crosswire Mansion. She is holding a notepad.
Muffy: Bailey, which is a better title for my cooking show? “Crosswire's Classy Kitchen”, or “Muffy: Master Chef”?
Bailey: Both are excellent. However, the term "master" may be a tad presumptuous when one has only ever made a sandwich. He turns on the ignition, but the engine will not start. There seems to be something wrong with the limo.
Muffy: (gasps) Oh, I can't be late. If you're late, Chef Puffeau makes you peel onions for the entire class.
Bailey: Fear not, Miss Muffy. I'm sure you can go with one of the other students.
He uses a cell phone.
***
Bitzi Baxter is on the phone in her kitchen.
Bitzi: We've already agreed to drive Arthur this week, but I think we can squeeze in one more. See you in a bit. Buster comes. Muffy's car broke down. Sorry, sweetie, it'll be a little crowded in the back.
Buster: Are you kidding? This is going to be great! I'll get some games, and CDs, and we'll pack some snacks! Hoho! This is gonna be a party on wheels!
He runs out.
***
Bailey and Muffy stand in front of the Crosswire mansion. Muffy taps her foot impatiently. Finally, the Baxters’ old car drives up to their door.
Buster: Welcome to the super-cool cooking class carpool! All aboard the Baxtermobile!
He gets out and pushes hard against the door to open it completely. The metal screeches.
Muffy: The "Baxtermobile" is ten minutes late.
She gets in. Buster closes the door with difficulty.
Buster: Don't worry, we'll get there with time to spare. My mom is the best driver in Elwood City.
Muffy realizes that the door is not quite shut and pulls at it.
Muffy: (grunts)
Bailey pushes the door shut. They drive off.
***
The Baxtermobile stands in front of Arthur’s house. All three kids buckle up.
Buster: Okay, so what do we play first? How about "I Spy"? I spot something and you have to guess what is it. I spy with my little eye... something that begins with the letter T.
The car drives off. Muffy notices a bag on the floor.
Muffy: Garbage!
Buster: Garbage? That's a G. I said T.
Muffy: No, there's garbage on the floor of this car.
Arthur: It's not garbage. It's a bag of fruit I brought for the pastry I'm gonna make my dad.
Muffy: Well, please get it away from my side. I don't want any fruit getting on my shorts.
Arthur: You'll get food on you anyway. It's a cooking class, remember?
Muffy: It might just be a "class" for you, but for me, it's practice for my cooking show.
Arthur: What's it gonna be called? “Ordering in with Muffy Crosswire”?
Buster: Hey guys! We're still playing I Spy. The letter was T.
Muffy: Ugh! The smell is making me sick!
Arthur: (sighs) Fine. Buster, could you hand me that bag? The car drives over a pothole. My fruit!
The fruit has spilled over Muffy.
Muffy: Oh! Does anyone have a moist towelette?
Mrs. Baxter: Okay! How about a little music, hmm?
She turns on the CD player and there is loud static. The kids cover their ears.
Mrs. Baxter: Sorry, I forgot. The CD player is broken.
Muffy: Mrs. Baxter, could you please put the air conditioning on? It's a little hot back here.
Mrs. Baxter: It is on, dear.
Buster: Why don't you just roll down the window?
He does so, and her bonnet flies out.
Muffy: (gasps) My bonnet!
She closes the window and gives Buster a dirty look.
Buster: Tree!
Arthur: What?
Buster: What I spy. With my little eye. It was a tree.
Muffy: Well, you know what I spy? D. Guess what that's for.
Arthur finds a half-eaten donut.
Arthur: Donut?
Muffy: No! Disaster! That's what this carpool is.
***
At the cooking class, Muffy pokes the dough with her finger.
Mr. Puffeau: Mademoiselle, the bread will not make itself. Knead it, knead it.
Muffy: I was trying not to make a mess.
Mr. Puffeau: Cooking is messy. Life is messy. You must enjoy the mess. Only sad chefs have clean clothes.
He pats his apron and causes clouds of flour.
Muffy: Speaking of appearances, what makeup do you recommend wearing in front of the camera?
Mr. Puffeau: Flour.
He claps his hands over her head and she is covered in flour.
Arthur: Monsieur Puffeau, I brought fruit with me. Maybe after class you could help me with that pastry?
Mr. Puffeau: Oranges, grapes, bananas? No! Puffeau cannot work with this material. Bring berries. Fresh ones!
Mr. Puffeau walks over to Buster who stares at his dough.
Buster: Huh?
Mr. Puffeau: Everyone! Come!
Buster: What? What? I didn't do anything.
Mr. Puffeau: Exactly! And the dough, it is rising beautifully. Sometimes the chef must relax and let nature do the cooking. Good work, Monsieur Baxter.
He pats Buster on the back. Arthur and Muffy stare at him. Muffy looks angry.
***
In Muffy’s room, Bailey holds up two dresses.
Muffy: What?! I have to ride in that horrible Baxtermobile again?
Bailey: I'm afraid the mechanic said it would be at least a week before the limo is fixed.
Muffy: So? We'll just use a different car. Daddy has tons of them at work.
Bailey: Your father thought this would be a good opportunity to help the environment by carpooling.
Muffy: I guess I won't be trying out my host outfit tomorrow. It'd get ruined in that cramped backseat. But, as long as I'm stuck with Buster and Arthur, I might as well put them to good use.
She puts a dress away and picks up a video camera.
***
Buster films Muffy sitting in the backseat of the Baxtermobile. Arthur is holding a box of berries.
Buster: Muffy Crosswire: Mister Chef, take one.
Muffy: Master chef!
Buster: So Muffy, how do you like riding in Buster Baxter's super cool cooking class carpool?
Muffy: Next question!
Buster: Okay, if you were on an island, and the only things to eat were worms or beetles, which would it be?
Muffy: Give me that! That's not the type of questions you're supposed to ask. Ask me how I prepare fabulous dishes.
Arthur: Okay. How does Muffy the master chef make fettuccine alfredo?
Muffy: Um, well... first you find an excellent Italian restaurant in your neighborhood, and then...
Buster: Hey, speaking of food, the cafe car of the Baxtermobile is now open. Ta-da.
He holds up a bowl of eggs. Arthur looks shocked.
Arthur: Eggs? Are you crazy? They could crack open and spill on my berries!
Buster: Relax, they're hardboiled. At least the ones with the H written on them are.
Mrs. Baxter: Oh dear. "No exit." They've closed our turn-off for road work. Good thing I got this GPS thingy a few days ago.
Muffy: It's not a Motorloco L-17, is it? Daddy says they're defective.
GPS: “Turn right here.”
Mrs. Baxter: Right? What right?
GPS: “Turn right here.”
The GPS shows an intersection when the car passes under a bridge.
Mrs. Baxter: There is no right!
Buster: This one has an H, and this one doesn't. Ha. This one just has an I. I wonder what that means.
Mrs. Baxter: Hang on, I have to pull over and look at the map.
She drives onto the shoulder.
Buster: Whoa! The eggs!
Arthur: My berries!
Muffy: It's on my shorts!
GPS: “You have arrived at your destination.”
***
The kids arrive at the cooking class, where the other kids are already working. All three are covered in egg.
Mr. Puffeau: Now you look like a chef, Mademoiselle. These berries are perfect, Monsieur Read. Too bad they're covered in egg. But you three look like you had fun. That is what matters. Now, if you please, peel the onions.
He hands Buster a bowl of onions.
***
Mrs. Baxter picks up the car keys in the kitchen.
Mrs. Baxter: Buster, come on! It's your last cooking class. We don't want to be late again. Buster comes listening to a Walkman. No games for the carpool?
Buster: Why bother? No one will play them. My carpool is a disaster. (sighs) Let's get this ride over with.
Mrs. Baxter: Be out in a sec. I just have to get something.
***
On the car ride, Buster listens to music.
Muffy: No fruit today?
Arthur: They were out of berries. (sighs) I guess I'll just get my dad a tie for his birthday.
Mrs. Baxter: Hey, kids, look in the seat pocket. I think there might be something in there for you.
Muffy takes out pencils and sheets of paper.
Buster: Car bingo! I completely forgot about that game. We used to play it on long car rides. You look at the pictures on the card and if you see them outside, you mark it off. First one to get them all in a row shouts "Bingo!"
Arthur sees a windmill beside a farm house.
Arthur: Windmill!
They pass a truck and pass under a bridge.
Muffy: Truck!
Buster: Bridge!
***
A little later on the car ride.
Kids: (sing:) “49 loaves of bread, you take one out, pass it about, 48 loaves of bread in the oven.”
Muffy: Hey, I think we're actually going to be early this time.
***
A little later, Muffy films Mrs. Baxter changing the tire by the roadside. Arthur comes with a cake and a bag.
Buster: I'm sorry, Arthur. My carpool was a catastrophe. And now it looks like we'll miss our very last class.
Arthur: That's okay. Hey, look what I bought at the farm stand back there. A tangerine torte. I may not have made it, but my dad sure does love tangerines. And I got us some fresh peaches.
He gives Buster one.
Buster: Thanks. Mmm! That's the best thing I've ever tasted.
Muffy: Okay, I've decided to scrap my cooking show. Instead, it's going to be “Muffy Crosswire: Master Mechanic”. The boys look doubtful. I was inspired by your mom. Look at her changing that tire. She's amazing! Even though I lost my bonnet, got egg on my shorts, and had to peel onions for an hour, I think I had more fun getting to the class than being in the class.
Arthur: Me too.
Mrs. Baxter: The Baxtermobile is up and running. If we hurry, we can probably make the last half-hour.
Buster: If it's okay with you, Mom, could we just drive around? We still have 48 loaves of bread to get through.
Arthur: Yeah, and I didn't get a bingo yet.
Muffy: Okay, I'm calling this segment "The Carpool Club Cuts Cooking Class." Take one!
They drive off. Several screws fall out of the car.