Introduction[]
(A plane with a red cross symbol has crashed in the mountains. People stand around it.)
Nurse: Now we'll never get the medicine there in time.
(Bionic Bunny lands next to the plane.)
Bionic Bunny: Yes, we will. Everyone in the plane!
People: Bionic Bunny!
(Bionic Bunny carries the plane through the air and Arthur is watching show on television.)
Arthur: Bionic Bunny is the greatest hero there is, except he isn't real. But there are real heroes living right here in town.
(Flashback: A firefighter leads a lady away from the burning Spunjko factory while other firefighters are fighting the flames.)
Arthur (narrator): Like the firefighters that saved everyone when the sponge factory caught on fire.
(Flashback: An ambulance passes Arthur, Francine, and Buster.)
Arthur (narrator): And the paramedics who get people to the hospital really fast.
(An ornamental window with a curtain is shown.)
Arthur: And the biggest hero in town... The curtain is drawn back to reveal Buster. ...Buster Baxter.
Buster: Hey!
Arthur: Buster Baxter??
Title Card: Buster Roars (Belch)[]
(Arthur and Buster look at the ice-creams on display in the Powers’ ice-cream shop. Buster gets a scoop of one that has feathers and chicken feet sticking out of it.)
Buster: Mmm. Yum!
Arthur: Gee, Buster, you're a lot braver than I am. You always try the new flavors.
Buster: Mmm. Chocolate Chicken Crunch.
Arthur: What makes the crunch?
Buster: I don't care.
(Buster puts the rest of the cone into his mouth. Mrs. Powers hands him a cone with what looks like a green ball of string.)
Mrs. Powers: Peppermint Pasta. What do you think?
(Buster slurps a green strand of ice-cream pasta.)
Buster: Good. But it needs meatballs.
(Mrs. Powers hands him a cone of something brown and steaming.)
Buster: Wow! Chocolate ice-cream with almonds and fish sticks!
Mrs. Powers: I call it Rocky Trout.
Buster: Mmm. Excellent!
(He gives her the thumbs up.)
***
(Arthur and Buster stroll down the street with Buster carrying a cone of Rocky Trout.)
Buster: Sure you don't want to try some Rocky Trout?
Arthur: No! I have to go home for dinner. See ya.
(They part ways. A few yards further on a lady stands next to a tree with a ladder.)
Cat Owner: Help me! Anyone!
(Buster runs up to her.)
Buster: What's wrong?
Cat Owner: My kitty is stuck in the tree!
(A brown cat sits high in the tree.)
Cat Owner: Alphonse!
(The cat smells the fishy ice-cream and climbs down.)
Cat Owner: (gasps)
(The cat jumps into Buster’s arm and eats a piece of fish stick.)
Cat Owner: You're a hero!
***
(A while later, the lady tells her story to Mrs. Baxter in her office at the Elwood City Times. Buster stands next to her holding the cat.)
Cat Owner: He plunged from the dizzying heights into Buster's arms!
Buster: And he ate all my ice cream! Can I have some money for more, Mom?
Cat Owner: Your son is a hero!
(Mrs. Baxter presses a button on her desk.)
Mrs. Baxter: Stop the presses. I’ve got a more important headline!
(In the printing room.)
Foreman: Stop the presses!
(The printing press stops. A worker puts in a new printing plate and presses the start button. The front page now shows a picture of Buster and the headline “Boy Hero Catches Cat”.)
(A truck full of newspapers drives off.)
***
(The next day, D.W. dances in the living room to the sound of her favorite CD.)
Joe Fallon (on CD): “…fooey, dewey, absolutely bus-a-looey. Crazy, lazy, crazy, crazy bus.”
(Arthur comes in.)
Arthur: D.W., can I use the...?
D.W.: No! It's my music time!
Arthur: But you've played this song...
(He counts check marks on a flipboard.)
Arthur: ...375 times since Monday!
Joe Fallon (on CD): “Let’s go! Wacky, goony, goofy, spoony, high as a plane or balloony.”
Arthur: Balloony?!
Joe Fallon (on CD): “Sloppy, sloopy, gloppy, gloopy, hula-hoopa hoppy-hoopy, dopey, doffy, srewey, bluey, gooey, chewy, fooey, dewey…”
(Pal runs around the room.)
Arthur: (groans)
(He covers his ears.)
Joe Fallon (on CD): “…absolutely bus-a-looey. Crazy, lazy, crazy, crazy bus. Crazy!”
Arthur: Finally, it's over.
D.W.+Joe Fallon: “Bus!”
Joe Fallon (on CD): “Crazy!” One more time!
(Arthur rushes to the CD player, but D.W. hugs it so he cannot turn it off.)
Arthur: Aw, come on! It's the worst song ever!
D.W.: You just don't get it, Arthur. You're too old!
Joe Fallon (on CD): “Crazy Bus, Crazy Bus…”
D.W.: "Crazy Bus / Riding on the Crazy Bus..."
Arthur: (groans)
(He runs out of the room, followed by Pal.)
***
(Arthur sits down on the front steps and picks up the newspaper.)
Arthur: I'll read the funnies to you, boy. Buster??
(In his workshop, Mr. Read cuts a piece of cheese. Arthur runs in with the paper.)
Arthur: Hey, Dad, look! Buster's a hero!
(Arthur looks into the living room, where Mrs. Read is working on the computer.)
Arthur: Buster's a hero!
(D.W. listens to the CD in her room.)
Joe Fallon (on CD): "Sloppy, sloopy, gloppy, gloopy..."
Arthur: Buster's a hero!
D.W.: You made me miss the best part!
(She presses stop.)
***
(Buster carries the newspaper in the classroom. His classmates and Prunella stand around him.)
Buster: It was no big deal! Really! I was just in the right place at the right time!
Binky: So you're a big hero, huh?
(His shadow falls on Buster, who looks scared.)
Buster: Um... er... sort of.
Binky: Can I have your autograph?
(He holds up a pen and a notepad.)
***
(Mr. Haney stands on the stage in the auditorium.)
Mr. Haney: Here is our own hero - Buster Baxter!
Audience: (cheer)
Buster walks up to the microphone.
Buster: Ahem. I was just in the right place at the right time.
***
(Arthur and Buster walk down a street. A lady notices them.)
Lady: It's him! The hero kid!
Arthur: Wow! Everyone knows you!
Buster: You think so?
He waves at a several people who wave back.
People: (cheer)
Buster: He-he-hey! You're right!
(He takes a bow.)
***
(Arthur and Buster see a kid eating a popsicle looking like Buster’s head.)
Mary: I just love Buster-sicles!
(Buster notices a banner in the shop window.)
Buster: "Buster eats here"? Gosh!
***
(Arthur and Buster pass by Bob’s Camera Shop. A guy comes out with a polaroid camera.)
Bob: There he is! A reward for the hero!
(He hangs the camera around Buster’s neck.)
Buster: Wow!
(Jack from Jack’s Joke Shop puts a novelty arrow on Buster’s head. Further people bring presents.)
***
(The next day, Buster walks into the classroom wearing a jacket, sunglasses and his new camera. He is followed by two reporters. One of them takes a picture of Buster.)
Buster: They're doing a... follow-up story about me. Get a picture of me with my fans... erm, classmates!
(The picture shows Buster in front of Arthur and Francine who looks perplexed.)
***
(The reporters interview Buster on the school steps. Binky stands next to Buster.)
Buster: The helicopter lowered me towards the kitty. I had to leap with precision timing, risking my very life...
(Arthur and Francine are listening from the bicycle stand.)
Francine: I'm getting pretty tired of this story.
Binky: Not me. It's always different.
***
(A queue stands in front of a movie theater advertising “Spooky Night III: The Fluffy Bears”. Buster walks past the line to the bouncer.)
Arthur: Buster, we have to stand in line!
Buster: (clears throat) I'm Buster Baxter?
(He shows the newspaper and the bouncer lets Buster and Arthur in.)
Crowd: (angry muttering)
Arthur: Everyone's mad we cut the line.
Buster: Arthur, I'm a hero! Heroes always get perks!
***
(Arthur, Buster, and Brain are in the library.)
Buster: I think you should do my homework for me.
Brain: Why?
Buster: I need to patrol! There might be cats that need saving.
(Buster leaves and Brain starts to look furious.)
***
(Arthur helps his Dad carry plates through the house.)
Arthur: And Buster's getting everyone mad at him, acting like a big shot.
Mr. Read: You're his best friend. Maybe you should talk to him.
Arthur: Yeah, I think I will.
(They pass the living room where D.W. is dancing to the Crazy Bus song.)
Joe Fallon (on CD): “Wacky, goony, goofy, spoony… "
D.W.+Joe Fallon: “…high as a plane or balloony.”
Arthur: There's no such word as "balloony"!
***
(Arthur and Buster sit in Buster’s room.)
Arthur: Buster, can I tell you something?
Buster: Hey! Look at this!
(He hands Arthur a manuscript.)
Arthur: "Cat Saver"?
Buster: It's my TV show, based on me. All famous heroes are on TV, right.
Arthur: Rrr. Buster...
Buster: Our story begins in a secret headquarters...
(In his fantasy, Buster stands in a control room overlooking a massive city. A woman appears on a monitor.)
Woman: Cat Saver, can you rescue my car?
Buster: Why, yes I can! There's no job too big for... Your car? Not your cat?
Woman: My car.
Buster: Hmm. Is it up a tree?
Woman: Um... yes.
Buster: I'm on my way!
(Buster jumps into a large tuba. There is a cloud of magic and his head is poking out of a large superhero’s body. The superhero has a picture of a cat on top of a tree on his chest.)
Theme Song: “Cat Saver! Cat Saver can save anything. A cat, your mother, or the universe.”
(Small rocket ignite at Cat Saver’s feet and he flies out of his headquarters. He flies through Earth’s orbit dodging toys.)
Theme Song: “Cat Saver! Cat Saver! He can get stuff down from trees.”
(The woman who called him watches him on a monitor in a hideout in space. She takes off a mask, revealing herself to be a rat. She addresses a muscular, caped person, a translucent Bambi-lookalike and a ham on legs.)
Woman: Cat Saver's on his way! Strong Guy! Ghost Doe! Treif! Get ready to rumble! (wicked laugh)
(Cat Saver breaks through the wall.)
Buster: There's no car in trouble! There's not even a tree here! It's a trap!
(The minions move in on him.)
Buster: Kids, hitting and punching people is wrong. But that's no person! It's a big ham!
(He begins wrestling with the ham.)
(The fantasy ends. Buster is enacting the scene in his room.)
Buster: He was so strong, and then they're all over him... Did you say you wanted to tell me something?
Arthur: Yeah. Everybody's tired of all this hero stuff. You'd better knock it off.
***
(Later, Arthur, Brain and Francine sit in the treehouse while Brain is doing Buster's homework as promised.)
Francine: What did Buster say when you told him?
Arthur: He wouldn't believe me. He just kept doing all this dopey kicking and punching. Then he said his show will be edutainment.
Arthur+Brain+Francine: Eww!
Brain: We have to make him believe you before everyone hates him.
Francine: He's not even a big hero. I heard that cat just jumped into his arms.
Brain: What?! And I'm doing his homework?!
(Arthur notices D.W. walking past the treehouse with her CD player.)
Joe Fallon (on CD): “Wacky, goony, goofy, spoony, high as a plane or balloony.”
(Arthur climbs down.)
D.W.: Hey, what are you doing?!
(The music stops and Arthur comes back up.)
Arthur: Ah, that's better.
(D.W. is now wearing headphones.)
D.W.: “Crazy Bus, Crazy Bus…”
Arthur: If Buster didn't do anything the first time, he wouldn't know how to save a cat if he had to!
***
(An animatronic cat sits in a tree and meows. Brain radio controls it from a bush. He gives the thumbs-up to Arthur, who in turn gives it to Francine.)
Francine: Here he comes!
Buster comes down the street with two reporters.
Buster: I'll still save the occasional cat, of course, but my future's in TV.
Arthur: Buster! Quick! Buster, there's a cat in trouble!
Brain presses a button and the fake cat meows.
Francine: Help! Do something.
Reporter: He's going to save another cat, and we are here!
The other reporter takes a photograph of Buster trying to climb the tree.
Buster: Er, no flash pictures, please. I need to, um, concentrate.
Francine: What are you waiting for? You know how to save a cat!
Buster: Here, kitty...kitty.
Arthur: Come on! We want a picture of you being a hero!
Buster: Kitty...kitty. Oh! I don't know what to do! I just got lucky before.
The wind blows the cat off the branch.
Buster: (screams)
The cat falls on the sidewalk and breaks. It's eye pops out and lets out a weak meow.
Buster: It's fake. You guys did this to make me look bad!
Arthur: No! We did it because everyone's tired of you bragging and acting like a big shot.
Francine: You never did a single brave thing in your life.
Buster: You're right. I'm sorry I acted so conceited. I'm no hero. Look out! Runaway piano!
Behind Arthur and Francine, a grand piano is rolling down the street pursued by two moving men.
Francine: Very funny.
Buster pushes Arthur and Francine out of the path of the piano.
Lady: Did you see that? He saved those kids!
The reporter takes pictures of Buster while a crowd gathers.
Francine: Buster really saved us.
Buster smiles into the cameras.
Arthur: Here we go again!
***
A trailer for “Buster Baxter: Piano Tamer” spoofs the Columbia Pictures logo with Mr. Ratburn holding the torch and the caption: “Rat is Art backwards … Almost”.
Announcer: 21st Century Rat proudly presents...
A piano is lowered down by a crane when the rope breaks.
Man: My piano's slipped! Look out!
The piano falls down the side of a skyscraper.
Crowd: (scream)
Announcer: When pianos cause trouble, he goes to work.
Buster puts on heavy duty gloves. His shoes transform into rocket-powered roller skates. His superhero suit has a ticking metronome on the back and piano keys in front.
Announcer: Buster Baxter - Piano Tamer!
The rocket roller skates ignite and Buster flies and catches the piano in mid-fall.
Announcer: Anyone can save a cat, but there's only one hero who will face a piano.
Piano-shaped spaceships advance on a planet while firing laser guns. Buster comes flying and destroys one of them.
In another scene, Buster swims through the sea pursued by a cross between a shark and a piano.
Announcer: Buster Baxter - Piano Tamer! Based on a true story.
A title card similar to Arthur title cards is shown. It reads “Buster Baxter – Piano Tamer” and Buster looks out of the circle. Arthur runs in front of it.
Arthur: Hold it! This is not gonna be a movie!
Buster: It could be.
Arthur: No way!
He walks off.
Buster: Coming to a theater near you.
Arthur: It is not!
Buster opens a door in the title card and follows Arthur.
Buster: How about a CD?
Arthur: No!
Buster: A video game?
Arthur: No!
Buster: Comic book?
Arthur: No!!