Introduction[]
Francine stands in a shopping street in Elwood City.
Francine: Everyone has their own tastes. Everyone likes something different.
D.W. comes with a Walkman with headphones and starts jamming and sings along to Crazy Bus.
D.W.: (sings:) “High as a plane or balloony, slappy, sloopy, gloopy, gloopy...”
Muffy comes wearing a pink dress.
Muffy: Dresses in blue, pink, or lavender. No orange, ever.
Sue Ellen holds up a notebook with self-made pictures on the cover.
Sue Ellen: A notebook is useless unless you personalize it!
D.W.: (sings:) “…happy, hibey, hoopy, whoopy, doopy, doofy, screwy, bluey…”
Binky looks thoughtful.
Binky: Hmmm. Can you come back to me?
D.W.: (sings:) “…goey, gooey, chewy, flooey…"
Binky: Uh... this is hard!
Arthur: A few good...
Muffy: Shoes, shoes, shoes! As many as possible!
Francine: Muffy, you had your turn.
Muffy: No! Wait!
D.W.: (sings:) “…fuzzy, wuzzy, busalooney, crazy, glazey, crazy, lazy bus!”
Binky: Okay, I got it, I got it! Macaroni and cheese.
Francine: What do I like? That's for me to know, and you to find out.
Title Card: Francine Bangs Gong[]
Arthur and his dad carry boxes out of the garage for a yard sale.
Arthur: Will people really buy this stuff?
Mr. Read: That's the beauty of a yard sale, Arthur — one person's trash is another person's treasure.
Arthur takes a clown figure out of a box.
Arthur: Ugh! Maybe we should make this buried treasure.
D.W. brings another box from the house.
D.W.: Here's more stuff. These things are gonna make us a lot of money.
Arthur: Where'd you get that?
D.W.: Storage.
Arthur: Hey, these are mine! Dad, she's trying to sell stuff from my room.
D.W.: It's worth big money. Besides, you won't even miss it.
Arthur: Put this stuff back right now!
Francine stops by on her bike.
Francine: Cool, a yard sale! Got anything good for 50 cents?
D.W. holds up a hand-held video game.
D.W.: Fish Finder 6, with improved graphics!
Arthur: D.W.!
Mrs. Read: I'll put this out, but I don't think anyone will be crazy enough to buy it.
Mr. Read: Hey, our favorite, never-used wedding present.
D.W.: Eugh!
Everyone except Francine looks disgusted.
Francine: Wow! It's beautiful! How much is it?
***
Catherine is reading “Wuthering Heights” on her bed when Francine comes in.
Catherine: Hi, Fran... Augh! What is that??
Francine puts down a red ottoman.
Francine: An ottoman with built-in foot warmer and TV dinner tray. Arthur's parents were having a yard sale and let me have it for free.
Catherine: No, no-no-no-no-no! This is the last straw! You are not bringing any more revolting junk into this room!
Flashback: Francine comes in with an ice-cream shaped lamp.
Catherine (narrator): First, it was that lamp you got when Tastee Cone went out of business.
Flashback: Francine, wearing winter clothes, comes in with a clock looking like an erupting volcano.
Catherine (narrator): Then it was that ugly lava alarm clock.
Flashback: Francine brings in a stuffed monitor lizard.
Catherine (narrator): And that... reptile!
The flashback ends.
Catherine: (sternly) THIS MADNESS MUST STOP!
Francine: What about your things? Lacy curtains. Lacy, ugly cats. Lacy pillows. Lacy lace!
Catherine: So what if my half is lace-driven? It has a unified theme.
Francine: Yeah, nauseating — that's the theme.
Catherine: You are so ignorant.
Francine sits down on her bed and puts her feet on the ottoman.
Francine: Just wait till your feet get cold. Then you'll be sorry.
***
The sisters take the ottoman to their mom, who is repairing a kitchen cupboard.
Francine: Mom, look! Arthur's parents didn't want this. Can you imagine?
Mrs. Frensky: Uh... possibly.
Catherine: I might as well hang a sign on our door: "Toxic taste dump"!
Mrs. Frensky: Well, what do you think about this? Your room's due for a paint job. New colors will really liven it up!
Francine: Red and purple!
Catherine: Mauve and gray!
Mrs. Frensky: Everything goes with white.
Francine+Catherine: White?
Mrs. Frensky: That way, the focus will be on your interior design. If you both come up with ideas, we'll hear them at the family meeting.
Francine+Catherine: Hm...
***
Francine and Muffy walk up a staircase in the Crosswire mansion. Francine holds a notebook.
Francine: I figure studying my friends' rooms will give me lots of design ideas.
They enter Muffy’s room.
Francine: You have a lot of stuff, Muffy...
In her imagination, Francine stands in a large room full of furniture.
Francine: Where's my bed?
The fantasy ends.
Francine: I don't think I could ever make my room look like this.
***
Francine stands in Sue Ellen’s room which is full of souvenirs from foreign countries.
Sue Ellen: ...and that's a sacred messenger rock from the Amazon!
Francine: Wow!
Francine imagines swinging on a vine through a jungle.
Francine: (Tarzan yell) She falls on her back. Oof. Ow!
The fantasy ends.
Francine: The exotic look really isn't me.
***
Francine stands in Fern’s room which is very girly and very orderly.
Francine: This just isn't my style, Fern.
Fern: It's not my style, either. It's my mom's style.
Fern shows Francine a picture from a book. It looks like a room out of a gothic Victorian novel.
Fern: Now, this is my style.
Francine imagines walking into the room and sitting on a chair.
Francine: (sighs)
The fantasy ends.
***
The Frenskys sit around the dinner table.
Mr. Frensky: We will now hear ideas for the Frensky Room Redecorating Project. Francine?
Francine: Ta-da!
She places a drawing on the table showing a room with two bats, a spider lamp, a bed, and a basketball hoop.
Mr. Frensky: Excellent! You can shoot hoops from your bed.
Catherine: Disgusting! It's disgusting! And where's my bed?
Francine points to a small rectangle in a corner.
Francine: Right here.
Mrs. Frensky: What have you got, Catherine?
Catherine: Well, I think I have something we can all live with. Voilá!
Her drawing shows a room covered in plants and flowers, with a grandfather clock against the wall.
Francine: Where's my bed?
Catherine points at the clock.
Catherine: This converts to a cot.
Francine: I can't sleep in a clock! I guess it doesn't matter. Those ugly flowers will keep me up all night!
Mr. Frensky: Wait a minute. I've got it! I have a brilliant idea! You girls take all your ideas and put them together into one fantastic room?
Catherine: Lower myself to her level? Puh-lease!
Francine: All my other friends have their own rooms. No one has to share with some crazy frillanoid!
Catherine: You think I like it any more than you do? I'd move in a minute!
Francine: So would I! I'll move!
Catherine: I said it first! I'm moving!
Mrs. Frensky: Where?
***
Mr. Frensky and Catherine move Catherine’s bed into a corner of the living room. Mr. Frensky hangs up a curtain to separate it from the rest of the room. In her area, Catherine has a bed, a chair, a desk, and two frilly pillows.
Catherine: I love it! It's like having a loft!
Francine: (sad sigh)
Mrs. Frensky: Honey, you can't live in the living room if your bedtime is at nine.
Mr. Frensky: And now you have the bedroom all to yourself!
Catherine puts a small lace tablecloth on the table.
Mrs. Frensky: Catherine, the table isn't part of your room.
Catherine: It's shared space, mother. It needs a unifying theme!
Francine: See? She's like bacteria from a space meteorite! She spreads everywhere! She imitates a zombie. "Lace! I need lace!"
Francine enters her own room which is now half empty.
Francine: Hello!
Her "Hello" echoes.
Francine sits down on her bed looking glum.
***
A while later, Francine rearranges her furniture and puts her bed in various parts of the room. Eventually, she sits in a chair hugging a basketball.
Francine: (groans)
***
Later, Francine and Arthur play basketball in front of the Reads’ garage. D.W. plays nearby.
Arthur: Wow, your own bedroom? It's almost like your sister's out of the house.
D.W.: You guys are lucky. I still have to share my room.
In her imagination, her parents move her bed into the garage.
Mrs. Read: Turning the garage into your bedroom is an excellent idea, D.W.!
Mr. Read: Now Kate won't bother you.
D.W. lies on her bed in the garage.
D.W.: Finally, I have room for all my friends to come visit.
Two ponies from Ponyland, Walter the deer and Mary Moo Cow stand in the room. The doorbell rings.
D.W.: Door.
D.W. walks to a device with a monitor and a microphone. The monitor shows Arthur.
D.W.: What do you want, Arthur?
Arthur: Do you have any cake?
Outside, D.W.’s face appears to Arthur in a cloud of smoke. Two British guards stand beside the door.
D.W.: NOOOOO!!!!!! Now go away!
A trapdoor opens below Arthur’s feet.
Arthur: Ahhhhh!
The fantasy ends. D.W. smiles.
Francine: But the room doesn't look right. It seems kind of empty.
Arthur: Maybe you just need more stuff.
***
Francine and her dad stand at the dump.
Mr. Frensky: If you see anything you like, call me and I'll give you a hand.
Francine walks into a large building. She looks at a tea tray with a hole in it. Then she finds a tea set.
Francine: Great. All I find is something Catherine would like!
Francine looks around outside.
Francine: There's nothing that's me! Wait a minute...
She finds a ring with fake bats attached to strings.
Francine: Wow!
***
Catherine is reading on the couch when Francine returns with the bats.
Catherine: What on Earth is that?
Francine: Uh, it's a bat mobile.
Catherine: I am so glad I don't have to deal with this anymore. I am going to my room.
She sits down at her desk. When she notices Francine looking at her, she pulls the curtain.
Catherine: Ah, privacy.
***
That evening, Francine lies in bed and watches her bat mobile spin. She turns off the light and falls asleep. In her dream, the bats appear to be dancing.
Francine: (gasps)
The bats form various shapes.
Francine: They're so talented!
A bat swoops down at her. She ducks under her covers.
Francine: Augh! Catherine! A bat! Help!
Bat: (Transylvanian accent:) I'm so glad you don't share a room, Francine. (laughs)
It swoops down with extended teeth.
Francine: (screams)
The dream ends. Francine looks out from under the covers.
Francine: (pants) It was just a nightmare!
***
The next day, Francine walks into the living room with a box. She bumps into Catherine who is carrying a bag.
Francine+Catherine: Oh!
Catherine: I know your room's kind of empty, so I brought you something.
She hands Francine the bag. In it is the clown figure from the Reads’ yard sale.
Francine: This is super. I got something for you, too.
Catherine opens the box and takes out the tea set from the dump.
Catherine: Oh, this is beautiful! I'll have to put it... She looks at her full part of the room. ...somewhere.
Francine: Maybe you could put it in your room... um, your real room.
Catherine smiles.
Catherine: You mean it?
Francine: Having my own room isn't as fun as I thought it would be.
Catherine: Well, to be honest, a loft isn't as glamorous as I thought it would be. The walls are so thin.
Francine: Want to do some moving?
***
The Frensky parents return carrying shopping bags and finds Catherine’s part of the living room empty.
Mr.+Mrs. Frensky: What??
They walk into the girls’ room, which is now a combination of both girls’ tastes, e.g. Francine’s stuffed lizard now has a bow around its neck.
Catherine: We decided to combine our decorative resources.
Francine: Too bad you guys didn't think of that.
The parents exchange knowing smiles.
***
Later, Muffy, Sue Ellen and Fern visit Francine’s room. Muffy admires the tea set while Fern lies on Catherine’s bed.
Sue Ellen: What a great room, Francine.
Muffy: Catherine has such neat stuff.
Fern: I wish I had an older sister, too. You're so lucky, Francine.
Francine: Yeah, I am.
Catherine calls from the living room.
Catherine: Feet off the furniture!
The girls quickly take their feet off the beds.
Girls: (laugh)