Introduction[]
Arthur and D.W. come out of the house. Arthur finds something on the sidewalk.
Arthur: Hey, 25 cents! Someone must have dropped it. He picks it up. Well, it's mine now. Or is it?
They walk on.
Arthur: Someone else had this quarter before me and I'll probably pass it on to another person.
D.W. snatches the coin.
D.W.: Like your sister! I just remembered, you owe me 10 cents from two years ago. I don't have any change, but this should cover the interest that you owe me.
Arthur: And this sweater? My grandma gave it to me, but I bet you D.W. will get it when I grow out of it, and Kate will get it after her.
D.W.: No way! We're never going to wear that. It's way too Arthur-y!
Arthur: If you think about it, who really owns anything?
D.W. buys a glass of lemonade from Vicita’s lemonade stand and drinks it. Arthur sees a red kite flying behind a house.
Arthur: Check out that kite!
D.W.: It's beautiful.
In the park, the boy flying it accidentally lets go of the string and the kite flies away.
Carl: (gasps)
Title Card: Binky and Ladonna walk up to Muffy flying a kite[]
In the park, Muffy attempts to putt a golf ball into a glass. Bailey holds her clubs.
Muffy: Golf is all about control. You have to hit the ball just right. She hits the ball way over the glass. And, erm, that is an example of how not to do it. You should be taking notes.
Bailey takes out a notebook and writes.
The ball rolls up to a butterfly. Binky tries to catch the butterfly with a net, but catches the ball instead.
Binky: Got you! Hey!
Muffy walks up to him.
Muffy: Binky! You shouldn't have moved my ball. Now it's out of play.
Binky: Well, your ball scared away my Monarch butterfly.
Ladonna hangs out of a tree reading a book.
Ladonna: Keep it down, I'm trying to read.
Binky: In a tree?
Ladonna: Why not? It's shady and quiet. Unless there is a golfer and a butterfly catcher chin-wagging by the roots. She comes down. (gasps) Look, it's a bull-fighter's cape stuck in a tree!
She points at the red kite.
Muffy: That's not a bull-fighter's cape.
Binky: It's just a kite.
Ladonna climbs the tree.
Ladonna: Here, give me that golf club!
Muffy: It's not a club, it's a putter.
She hands Ladonna the club, who uses it to dislodge the kite.
Ladonna: (grunts) Almost! (grunts) The kite comes down. There. Now we can go on a quest to find the owner, fight off dragons and spies and collect a big reward.
Muffy: I'm not really dressed for a quest.
Binky: Can't we just skip to the reward part?
Ladonna: Come on, guys, where is your sense of adventure?
Muffy: Okay, we get it.
Muffy winds the kite string around a short stick. Binky picks up the kite and walks away.
Ladonna: Where are you going?
Binky: No one's gonna see the kite on the ground. We have to fly it so the owner can find it.
Ladonna smiles.
Ladonna: On your marks, get set, go!
Muffy runs and Binky lets go of the kite. It falls to the ground.
Ladonna: Faster, Muffy, faster!
Muffy: I was made to run companies, not races!
The kite finally flies up.
Ladonna: Woo-hoo! Ladies and gentlemen, we have lift-off!
Ladonna and Binky walk up to Muffy.
Binky: It sure flies well. I call next turn!
Muffy hands Ladonna her cell phone.
Muffy: Press “one” and tell Bailey our golf lesson is over. And ask him to bring over the sandwiches.
***
A while later, Binky runs with the kite. Then it is Ladonna’s turn and then Bailey’s.
***
Later, the kids and Bailey lie on their backs and eat sandwiches. Binky holds the kite string.
Binky: You know, I haven't flown a kite in years. I forgot how much fun it is.
Ladonna: That's not just any old kite. Back home, we call kites that fly like that majestic wind-eaters.
Muffy: You just made that up, didn't you?
Ladonna: Er, kind of.
They all get up.
Binky: What do we do with it? The owner never came back.
Muffy: Finders keepers, I guess.
Ladonna: Yup, and since I was the first one who saw it...
Muffy: Wait a sec, none of this would have happened if I hadn't hit my ball over here.
Ladonna: Well, I was the one who got it down from the tree.
Muffy: With my golf club.
Binky: Guys, guys, come on. There's no reason to fight. There's a simple, mature solution to this: I'll keep the kite!
He tries to take it away.
Ladonna+Muffy: No way!
Binky: Okay, okay, then let's just share it. We'll each take it for a week and then switch off.
Muffy: A time-share is a great idea. I'll have Daddy's lawyer draw up a contract.
***
In the Crosswire mansion, a lawyer hands Muffy three copies of the contract. Muffy hands copies to Binky and Ladonna.
Muffy: Thank you, Walter. It's exactly what we talked about, just written in a way no one can understand. Sign by the X.
She hands out pens.
Binky: So, who gets to have the kite first?
Ladonna holds up three straws.
Ladonna: Longest straw goes first, middle goes second, shortest goes last.
Each picks a straw.
Binky: Woo-hoo! Yes! Binky beats them all! He came, he saw, he picked the longest straw! See you later, 'gators. I've got a kite to fly, I've got a kite to fly.
He leaves with the kite.
***
The next day, there is a thunderstorm over the Barnes’ house. Binky looks out of the window.
Binky: Aw. I'm sure it'll be sunny tomorrow.
***
Binky sits in the living room and watches the weather forecast. The kite lies beside him on the couch.
Weatherman (on TV): Wear your snorkel this week ‘cause it's rain, rain, rain.
Binky: Huh? Don't worry, this guy never gets it right.
***
The next day, there is another thunderstorm. Binky stands outside the house and shakes his fist.
Binky: Curse you, weatherman!
***
At the end of the week, Binky gets up in the morning and briefly looks out of the window.
Binky: Oh. Curse you, weatherman. (gasps)
He realizes that it is sunny and opens the blinds.
***
In the park, Binky holds the kite string while Arthur holds the kite.
Binky: Ready?
Arthur: Ready.
Binky runs, but the Kite falls to the ground.
Binky: You're doing something wrong!
Arthur: I'm just letting it go like you told me.
Binky: Well, then why isn't it flying?
Arthur: I don't know. Maybe because there's no wind?
Muffy comes with Bailey.
Muffy: (clears throat) I hate to interrupt, but according to my calendar your kite-time is officially up.
She takes the string and Bailey picks up the kite.
Binky: But... I didn't even get to fly it once. Can I have one more day?
Muffy: Sorry, a deal's a deal. Unless...
Binky: Just name it. I'll give you anything.
***
In the Crosswires' living room, the lawyer hands Muffy another contract.
Muffy: Thanks again, Walter. So, this rider to the contract will trade you one of my kite-flying days for two of yours when your turn comes around again.
Binky: Yeah, yeah. Yeah-yeah-yeah, whatever. Where do I sign?
He signs, hands Muffy the contract and leaves with the kite.
Binky: Please, please, please, let there be a breeze.
The moment he steps outside, thunder crashes and it starts raining.
Binky: Nooo!
***
The next day, the sun is shining. In the park, Muffy takes the kite from Binky.
Muffy: Maybe you'll have better luck in, let's see, um-uh, 16 days from now.
Binky leaves. In the background, Bailey practices putting.
***
Later, Muffy’s cell phone rings. She holds the kite string down with her foot and answers the phone.
Muffy: Hi, Chip. Did you make the JD badminton team? No way! And we even donated a swimming pool to that school. I'm going to tell Daddy we should take it back. The kite string slips under her shoe. Me? Actually, I'm flying this amazing kite we found. Hold on, I'll take a picture and send it to you. She tries to photograph the kite which flies away. (gasps) Oh, no! It's flying away! Bailey, quick! Do something!
***
Bailey runs after the kite down a city street.
***
Bailey runs after the kite over a pasture and leapfrogs over a cow.
***
Bailey climbs a cliff and jumps for the kite string as it passes overhead. He narrowly misses. The kite flies away over a forest and Bailey takes out his cell phone.
***
Muffy sits with Francine in the Sugar Bowl. She answers her cell phone.
Muffy: Oh, well. Thanks for trying, Bailey. (sighs) Looks like the kite's gone for good.
Francine: I wonder what Binky and Ladonna will say.
Muffy imagines talking to Binky and Ladonna on the playground.
Binky: You're in breach of contract, whatever that means. I'm going to sue your pigtails off!
Ladonna: I thought you were my friend, but friends don't just lose majestic wind-eaters. (sobs) I want to go back to Louisiana.
The fantasy ends.
Muffy: I don't know but it isn't going to be pretty. She drinks through her straw and has an idea. Maybe I don't have to tell them.
Francine: Uh-oh. I know that look. You're up to something.
Muffy: Me? Of course not. I just have a little shopping to do. She dials on her phone. Hi, Bailey. When you get down from the mountain, could you pick me up at the Sugar Bowl?
***
Later, Muffy comes out of a shop called Weird Things carrying a kite like the one that flew away.
***
Muffy crashes the kite in the park.
***
Muffy and Bailey buy a whole stack of kites.
***
Muffy’s next kite falls on Mr. Haney’s barbeque and burns.
***
The next crashes on a street and is run over by a car.
***
Bailey fixes a kite in the Crosswire garage using a welding machine.
***
When Muffy flies the kite, the wind pulls her away. Bailey holds her.
Muffy: (gasps)
The kite flies away and eventually drops into the sun.
***
After a week, Muffy and Bailey wait in the park for Ladonna.
Muffy: You better stay close by, Bailey. I may need help consoling Ladonna when I tell her that I lost the... She sees a kite in some bushes. (gasps) The kite! I don't believe it! It's a miracle and just on the day when I thought that...
Ladonna comes.
Ladonna: What you doing over here? I thought we were supposed to meet by the tree. Hey, you shouldn't fly it by these bushes, it could get torn. Don't worry, majestic wind-eater, I'm going to take really good care of you. Well, see you in a week. I hope you had fun.
Muffy: Oh, yeah, it was a blast. (giggles nervously)
***
Ladonna flies the kite with Bud and D.W. watching.
Ladonna: I'll show you guys some tricks. I call this the Compson Camel twist. And this one is the Louisiana Loop-De-Loop.
The kite lands in a tree and is pierced by a branch.
***
A week later, Ladonna, Muffy and Binky meet in the park.
Binky: What are you doing here? It's my turn.
Muffy: But I get two days off your week, remember? Binky asked me for an extra day.
Ladonna: Can I have one too? I didn't get to fly at all. It just came back from the repair shop.
Binky: The repair shop?!
Ladonna: Um, yeah, but it's all fixed up now and...
Muffy: You broke the kite?! That means you owe each of us three days. Didn't you read your contract?
She hands out copies.
Binky: There is nothing in here that says when I have to give back your two days.
Ladonna: The kite was broken. Now it's fixed. Show me where it says...
Muffy: Here! In paragraph four, sub-heading A...
Ladonna: I don't care!
Binky: You can have your days back in December.
Muffy: What?
Binky: December of next year.
Muffy: That's not fair!
Binky+Ladonna+Muffy: (argue loudly)
Carl comes with his mother. He holds his hands over his ears.
Carl: Quiet! You're making too much noise, it's hurting my ears. This is my kite. I lost it twenty-two days ago, on Saturday at 11:15 in the morning. It has a scar on it but that's okay. I'm gonna go fly it now.
Ladonna: Well, I guess we found the owner.
Muffy: It's gone for good now.
Binky: And we could have all been flying it right now instead of arguing.
The three kids turn to leave.
Carl: If you want, you can fly the kite with me, but you have to be quiet and I get to go first.
The others smile and nod.
***
Carl flies the kite while the others watch.
Carl: I've flown this kite 205 times and I never get tired of flying it. I don't like to do too many fancy moves. Just hold on tight and let the wind take it everywhere.