"I'm Not Scared of Santa" is track 13 of the album Arthur's Perfect Christmas. It is performed by Binky Barnes with a chorus of adults and is about Binky claiming "I'm not scared of Santa," though most of the other lyrics seem to suggest otherwise. It is an entirely original tune and unlike the rest of the material on the album, is not either some form of a traditional carol or in some way either featured in or based on material from the television special. However, like "Leftovers Goulash," it is a mashup of traditional music, in this case, Christmas carols, such as "Good King Wenceslas" and "Here We Come a-Wassailing."
Lyrics[]
Binky
Dear Santa, Binky again. I just wanna remind you that there are lots of different ways of delivering stuff that they've invented since you started giving presents. Like the mail. (chuckles) If you just gave my gifts to the postman, then you wouldn't have to come all the way to Elwood City and sneak down our chimney into our dark, dark house.
Every single Christmas
I lie awake
How long can Santa take?
Creeping ever closer
In that big red sleigh
I can't close my eyes
'Cause Santa's on his way
Sneaking gifts into each house
Must be pretty hard, sir
If you're in a hurry just
Drop mine in the yard, sir
Chorus
Santa's getting near your house
He's circling Atlanta
Binky
Don't say that I'll never sleep
But I'm not scared of Santa
Chorus
No, he's not scared of Santa
Binky
Went to Santa's castle
Last week at the mall
When I got in line
He looked nice and small
But his boots were giant
And his beard was weird
Plus they took the picture wrong
'Cause I look scared!
Chorus
Santa wants to talk to you
Climb up into his lap!
Binky
I really wish I could
But I've got some stuff to wrap
But I'm not scared of Santa
Chorus
No he's not scared of Santa
Binky
A giant buckle jingles
Something's in the den
Santa's in the house
Bringing joy again
Wish that he could visit
Every single night
But, he won't do that, will he?
I mean, that's not possible, right, right?
Chorus
It's that time of year
Binky
For Ho Ho Ho Sir
Chorus
And he's almost here
Binky
He's getting closer
Chorus
Are you in fear?
Binky
Nnnnnno sir!
I'm not scared of Santa
No, I'm not scared
Santa
Ho ho ho!
Binky
No, I'm not scared
Santa
Ho ho ho!
Binky
No, I'm not scared of Santa
Those elves are pretty creepy, though.