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[PHONE RINGS]

Arthur Read: Do you ever feel like you're the only one in the world who never wins anything? I'm going to the park now, Mom!

Jane: Okay. But come home by lunchtime. And...and can you get the phone?

Arthur: Ah! But then one day, just when you feel like you'll never win anything in your entire life, you do? Hello?

Disc Jockey: Congratulations! This is QRAD...

Arthur: Our parents say we can't take sales calls.

Disc Jockey: ..To receive this awesome prize. You've just won eight tickets to next weekend's Static Airwaves concert sponsored by QRAD.

Arthur: Wait! Did you say I just won? Well, be grateful for your bad luck. Because the only thing worse than never winning anything is winning.

[INTERTITLE]

Buster: No! That can't be true! You actually won eight front row tickets for Static Airwaves?!

Binky: That's, like, a miracle!

Muffy: What are you going to do with them?

Arthur: Well, there are eight tickets and eight of us.

[ALL TALK AT ONCE]

Arthur: Hey! You want to come home and wait for the tickets with me? QRAD Radio said they're going to deliver them this afternoon

[CONSTANT TICKING]

[DOORBELL]

Francine: Open it already! Come on, come on!

Arthur: Huh?

Francine: Math has never been my best subject, but that doesn't look like eight tickets to me!

Arthur: QRAD says the DJ got the number wrong. But the concert is sold out and I should count myself lucky to even get two tickets. So...

Muffy: So, who are you going to take?

All: Yeah!

Arthur: Um...Heh-heh! Well...now, that's, um .. Let's see, I, er...

Buster: You know what, guys, we should leave Arthur alone and not pressure him. It's not that big a deal, really. It's just a concert.

All: Yeah.

Francine: Let's leave Arthur alone.

Arthur: Thanks, buddy.

Buster: No sweat. I knew they'd all go nuts when you said who you were really taking. Front row seats! I can't wait!

[PHONE RINGS]

Jane: Arthur, can you get that?

Arthur: Francine? How did you get home so fast?

Francine: I know you're probably taking Buster, but I just want to say I was the first one in school to like Static Airwaves. You remember that day in kindergarten when I played their first single for Show and Tell?

Arthur: Muffy, too? Francine, can we maybe talk about this later?

Francine: Oh! OK, fine!

Arthur: Don't be mad, it's just that..

[DIALING TONE]

[PHONE RINGS]

Jane: Arthur?

Arthur: Yeah, Mom, I'm getting it. Phew!

[PHONE RINGS]

Jane: Arthur?

Arthur: Please, could we not answer the phone for a while?

Buster: 'Hey, Arthur, it's Buster. Just wanted to make sure you got that last message. OK. Um...yeah '

[BEEP!]

Arthur: Could you pass the peas?

[PHONE RINGS]

Jane: What, honey?

Arthur: The peas!

Sue Ellen: 'Hey, Arthur, Sue Ellen here. Listen, about those last 20 messages, I had another thought...

[CONSTANT BEEPING]

Arthur: OK, Mom, I'm leaving now for..

Jane: For where, honey? The park?

Arthur: Hey, guys!

All: Tickets! Tickets!

Arthur: No! The library!

Francine: I wonder where Arthur is?

[PHONE RINGS]

Muffy: Good work, Bailey. Oh, dear me! I just forgot, I have an appointment at the salon. Well, have a great practice!

Muffy: Oh! Hi, Arthur! What are you doing here?

Arthur: Er...wrong book.

Muffy: Oops! Hey, as long as you're here, I...

Sue Ellen: Oh, hi, Arthur. I'm just doing some research on Africa...

[BOTH TALK AT ONCE]

Arthur: Oh, sure, yeah.

All: Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!

Arthur: Argh!

All: Arthur!

Arthur: Oh!

Binky: Arthur! Are you okay? Let me help you!

Arthur: No! Please don't! Here, just take the second ticket. Take it!

Binky: Really? You're inviting me? Thanks! You know, I knew I shouldn't go in there and chase you around. Just wait patiently and you shall receive, that's our motto. What's wrong?

Arthur: The tickets, I lost them!

All: What?!

George: Whoa!

Francine: Buster, you search Fiction. Muffy, Non-Fiction, Sue Ellen, reading room, Brain, men's room, George, wake up!

Arthur: I can't believe I lost them! Wait a minute. Yeah, I lost them! Ha-ha-ha! I lost them!

[CONSTANT BEEPING]

Telephone machine: 'Messages deleted.'

Arthur: And whichever of you finds the tickets is welcome to keep them with my best wishes. Your friend, Arthur. And send to everybody and...

[HE GASPS]

Arthur: What?

Francine: Nothing.

Binky: Hi, Arthur.

Sue Ellen: Yeah, hi.

Arthur: Huh? What's everybody's problem.

Buster: Don't get mad at me, I tried to defend you. But it's hard to defend a liar

Arthur: A liar?!

Buster: You lost the tickets? Come on!

Arthur: Hey, George. Thanks for sitting with me.

George: It's okay. We all tell white lies sometimes.

Arthur: I didn't lie.

George: We looked all over the whole library and couldn't find the tickets.

Arthur: Okay, look, you don't believe me. Check my pockets.

[GEORGE WHISTLES]

George: Binky! Frisk him!

Binky: He's clean. Wait a minute!

Arthur: You want to go through my books now?

Francine: Unless you have something to hide?

Arthur: No, I don't. Now you guys see when I don't have the tickets I hope you... Oh! So that's where I put them. Ha-ha-ha!

Arthur: Hey, D.W., you want my concert tickets?

D.W.: And have everyone hate me? No, thank you!

Arthur: If there's a lesson here, I'm missing it.

Arthur: Please take free tickets. Wow! I feel like I have this huge weight off my back. Argh! No!

Arthur: Stay there! Stay! Stay! Ah! Whaa...! How did...? This is impossible

D.W.: Muffy's butler dropped them off

Arthur: Muffy's butler?

D.W.: Yeah. He said that...

[DOORBELL]

Arthur: No! Don't! I left them on a tree stump, I swear!

Francine: Arthur, we know.

Muffy: Bailey called me.

Binky: Then Muffy called us and...

Arthur: Wait! Back up. Bailey called you?

Muffy: The important thing is we've all been talking and we realized we've been unfair.

George: You won those tickets, we didn't.

Buster: And the very first thing you did was invite all of us. And yet we never even thanked you.

Francine: We think you should just go by yourself and enjoy the concert.

Arthur: Wait! I don't want to go alone. What fun is winning something if a friend can't enjoy it with you? Won't one of you come with me?

D.W.: I can't believe it takes a four-year-old girl to suggest picking straws.

Arthur: Wow! Look at...

George: A big wall! We can't see a thing!

Arthur: Well, like I always said, I never really win anything.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Static Airwaves!

[CHEERING]

Arthur and George: Whoo-hoo! All right!

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