The "A" Team[]
Introduction[]
(Lakewood Elementary is playing soccer against Mighty Mountain Elementary. Francine and Brain are carrying the ball.)
Francine: It's up to us! Everyone else is a... you know.
(A whistle blows.)
(Brain is about to make a throw-in. Francine runs free. In her fantasy, everyone on her team except Brain transform into clowns. Francine gets the ball, bypasses a Mighty Mountain player, and heads for the goal.)
Brain: Francine!
(She passes to Brain who scores. The referee blows a whistle. He shows the yellow card to a Mighty Mountain player while Binky is sitting on the ground holding his leg in pain.)
Binky: (cries)
(Arthur, still looking like a clown, addresses the camera.)
Arthur: Francine has a point about her and Brain. They're way better at soccer than everyone else on our team, but that doesn't mean that we're...
(Fern and Muffy have carried Binky to the sideline. Francine walks up to them.)
Francine: ...the laughingstocks of Elwood City! There's a game on here! Quit clowning around!
Buster: Aye, aye, Captain Frensky!
(He falls and knocks down Alex and Sue Ellen. Brain shakes his head.)
Buster: Oops.
Mr. Crosswire: Penalty kick for our side!
(Francine runs on the field.)
Mr. Crosswire: Just a minute, Francine, it's Sue Ellen's turn.
Francine: Oh, no!
(Sue Ellen kicks the ball with two feet. Mighty Mountain recovers it and scores without any Lakewood player trying to stop them. Arthur the keeper is juggling.)
MM Players: (cheer)
Title Card: Stampede[]
Before a practice session, George sits on the stands blowing bubbles, Fern does Muffy’s hair and Binky eats donuts. Francine walks past with Arthur.
Francine: Look at this team - what a joke! There's no drive, no desire...
Arthur: Practice hasn't even started yet. We're supposed to be goofing around.
***
The players sit around Coach Crosswire.
Mr. Crosswire: Today we're going to start with the "eyes on the ball" drill. He moves a ball around. In this drill we sharpen our focus by keeping our...
Francine: Eyes on the ball?
Mr. Crosswire: That's right, and...
Brain: Excuse me, coach. I think we covered "eyes on the ball" in kindergarten with coach Trevor.
Mr. Crosswire: That's what fundamentals are. They're things you learn first and practice the rest of your life. And today we're focusing on fundamental number one: the ball and keeping our eyes on it. Let me hear you now: eyes on the ball!
Kids: Eyes on the ball! Eyes on the ball!...
Francine and Brain look bored.
***
At sundown the kids leave the soccer field. A girl catches up with Francine.
Rae: Hey! I saw you playing soccer out there. Well, trying to, anyway. You've got some really good moves.
Francine: Yeah? Thanks.
Rae: You guys do a lot of basic drills, huh? There's nothing wrong with that, but you seem a little more advanced. Ever hear of the county-wide soccer league?
Francine: The travel teams? Sure.
Rae: I'm on one of them, the Elwood City All-Stars. We're having trials this Saturday. You should check it out.
She hands Francine a brochure and runs off.
Francine: Thanks. She reads the brochure. "Take your game to the next level."
In Francine’s imagination, the All-Stars are playing Mighty Mountain in a big stadium. Rae and Francine pass to each other, easily avoiding the Mighty Mountain players. Francine does an overhead kick and scores.
Francine: Yes!
The fantasy ends.
***
Mr. Frensky brings Francine and Brain to the All-Star tryouts. They watch the All-Stars warm up.
Francine: Brain!
Brain: Hi!
Francine: Isn't this unbelievable? Did you see some of the stuff they're doing?
Brain: It's great. And best of all no...
Brain+Francine: Eyes on the ball!
***
The kids run laps. Coach Raggett blows his whistle and Brain runs off.
Coach Raggett: Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Both Brain and Francine head the ball. Coach Raggett makes notes.
Francine dribbles around pylons.
Coach Raggett: Not bad, Barrettes!
***
After the tryouts Francine and Brain stand at Coach Raggett’s desk.
Coach Raggett: We'll let you know.
Francine and Brain walk off the field.
Francine: Those kids are really good!
Brain: Think we'll make it?
***
Arthur, Buster and Muffy sit at a table in the Sugar Bowl.
Arthur: Wow!
Buster: Yeah. Wow!
Muffy: (gasps)
Francine and Brain have just come in wearing All-Star jerseys.
Francine: Pretty cool, huh?
Muffy: I'll say. It almost feels like silk. Can you get me one?
Francine: They're for Elwood City All-Star players only.
Brain: You should see the teams we play against.
He gives Arthur a brochure.
Arthur: Montvale, Belmont, Wayuga? You get to go everywhere! Francine and Brain sit with the others. You're gonna be on two soccer teams and one of them travels? When will you have time for your homework?
Brain and Francine look embarrassed.
Brain: Um, we're not gonna be on two teams.
Francine: A lot of the practices conflict.
Arthur: Oh.
Francine: But we'll never forget you guys. It's just time for Brain and I to take our game to the next level. You understand?
***
Mr. Frensky drops Brain and Francine off at the All-Stars practice.
Mr. Frensky: Have a good time, kids!
They wave as Mr. Frensky drives off. Coach Raggett blows his whistle.
Coach Raggett: New guy! Yeah, you. In line here!
Brain: All right!
Coach Raggett: Barrettes?
Francine: Yes, sir!
Coach Raggett: On the left. Try to keep up, guys.
***
Francine and Rae run around pylons.
Other players practice shooting at the goal.
Brain and Francine run from pylons to the sideline.
Coach Raggett: Tag the line! And back. It’s the next pair’s turn. Tag the line!
***
Coach Raggett blows his whistle. The kids stand around looking more or less drained.
Coach Raggett: Barrettes, you gonna make it? Francine nods. That's what I like to see - mental toughness. Okay, everybody, two laps to cool down!
***
After the laps, Brain gets something to drink while Francine rests on the bleachers.
Brain: This cup feels like it's a hundred pounds.
Francine: I know. Who knew it was such a long way to the next level?
When Rae joins them, Francine stands up.
Rae: Hey, guys! Pretty intense, huh?
Francine+Brain: You said it!
Rae leaves. Brain and Francine's shoulders slump.
***
Coach Raggett addresses the players.
Coach Raggett: Team! Jordan has decided to leave the team. He has... other commitments.
Team: (Other commitments. Yeah, right!)
Coach Raggett: There's nothing wrong with other commitments. Better to realize that now than later, 'cause I want this team to give a hundred and ten percent. Are you ready to give me that?
Team: Yes, sir!
Coach Raggett: Good. I've scheduled an extra practice this Thursday. Here are reminder notes for your parents.
He passes them out. Brain and Francine exchange looks.
Francine+Brain: We're not quitters!
They hook pinkies.
***
Mr. Ratburn enters the classroom. The children stop chatting.
Mr. Ratburn: Let's settle down, people. There are a couple of announcements. Alan?
Brain stands up looking sad.
Brain: I'm not going to be president of the computer club anymore. I don't have the time.
Class: (gasp)
Buster: But who's going to head up the club?
Mr. Ratburn: Not to worry. I will be your new driver on the information super roadway. We won't gigabyte off more than we can chew! (laughs)
Everybody looks worried.
Brain: I'm sorry.
***
Mr. Frensky drives Francine to soccer practice in pouring rain.
Mr. Frensky: I'm a little surprised there's practice today.
Francine: Coach Raggett only cancels for lightning.
Mr. Frensky: Your old team cancelled for rain. What if someone slips and gets injured?
Francine: My old team wasn't going to take me to the next level.
Mr. Frensky: What happens at the next level? You play during blizzards?
Francine: Dad!
***
During the rainy practice, Brain passes to another player who scores.
Francine: Woo-hoo! Way to go, Brain! Excellent pass!
Coach Raggett: New guy, there was a higher percentage pass on your other side. See the whole field, people!
Francine: I still thought that was pretty good.
***
Some time later, Coach Raggett blows his whistle.
Coach Raggett: The passing is getting sloppy, people. We've got to work on the "give and go". Rae, Helga, demonstrate!
Rae avoids another player by passing to Helga who passes back to her.
Coach Raggett: Good. Barrettes, new guy, you try it! Brain and Francine try. Wake up those tootsies, Barrettes! You gotta give, then go, go, go!
Francine falls in the mud.
Francine: Oh.
Coach Raggett: Break anything, Barrettes? Francine shakes her head. Then on your feet! This isn't a spa!
***
Coach Raggett addresses the players.
Coach Raggett: Team! Little talk. Next game's a scrimmage, thank goodness. We've been invited by Coach Crosswire over in Lakewood to play his team!
Team: (laugh)
Rae: Oh no. We'd better schedule some extra practices.
Francine: They're not that bad.
Coach Raggett: Barrettes is right. Anyway it doesn't matter how bad they are, I still want you to give a hundred and ten percent. Is that clear?
Team: Yes, sir!
Coach Raggett: Good. Line up for sprint relay.
***
Francine and Brain line up with the others.
Francine: We're gonna cream them.
Brain: This is one game I'm not looking forward to winning.
Francine: That's not all I'm not looking forward to.
Brain: But you're not thinking of... quitting, are you?
Francine: No. Are you?
They hook pinkies.
***
At school, Brain gets his sports bag from his locker. He passes the computer room where Mr. Ratburn teaches Arthur, Muffy and Buster.
Mr. Ratburn: And this web spot will tell you the temperature in any city in the world. The screen goes black. Oh, no, it disappeared. What have I done?
Brain runs in and wiggles the mouse.
Brain: The computer went to sleep. Just move the mouse or hit a key to wake it up.
Mr. Ratburn: Fascinating.
Muffy: Why don't you join us? (quietly:) Please.
Brain: I can't. I have soccer practice.
He leaves.
Mr. Ratburn: Let's try something a little simpler. Now this button is called the shift key.
***
On the Lakewood soccer field Coach Raggett talks to Mr. Crosswire. Then he walks over to the All-Stars with two Lakewood jerseys.
Coach Raggett: Lakewood is two players short. Ordinarily this is a default situation, but we've come all this way and we want to demonstrate our superior might. Right?
Team: Right!
Coach Raggett: So we're going to loan them two players. New guy, Barrettes, see you after the game!
Francine and Brain put on the Lakewood jerseys.
***
The Lakewood team stands on the field. Arthur gives Brain the thumbs-up. The referee whistles. The All-Stars kick off and easily get the ball to the Lakewood goal. Rae shoots but hits the goalpost.
Rae: Come on! Focus!
Buster shoots at the All-Stars goal but aims much too high.
Francine: Buster!
Muffy stands on the sidelines with a megaphone.
Muffy: Alright, Buster! You almost had it!
Rae dribbles past Francine. Francine runs after her, but she manages to score against Arthur.
Francine: Nice try!
Arthur: You too.
Binky is supposed to make a throw-in.
Coach Raggett: What are we waiting for?
Mr. Crosswire: Good eye, Binky! Just figure out your options!
Binky throws to Brain.
Francine: Give and go, Brain!
Brain and Francine do the “give and go”.
Muffy+Mr. Crosswire: Wow! Good move!
Brain kicks the ball against Buster’s chest and it bounces into the goal.
Lakewood Team: (cheer)
***
After the game, the players gather around their coaches.
Coach Raggett: Okay, team. We'll debrief before we head back.
Mr. Crosswire: Terrific game, team. Just terrific!
Muffy: But we lost three-one, Daddy.
Mr. Crosswire: So? You actually scored on the Elwood City All-Stars. You played like a finely-tuned machine and that calls for a little high-octane fuel: Pizza and ice cream!
He removes a blanket revealing some pizzas and ice-cream tubs.
Team: Yeah!
A whistle is heard. Coach Raggett is waving.
Mr. Crosswire: I think you two are wanted across the field. He puts a hand on Francine's and Brain's shoulders. It was really great having you two back for a game. Things just haven't been the same since you quit.
Francine and Brain run over to the All-Stars.
Francine: Wait a second. They stop. We made a pact never to quit, right?
Brain: Right.
Francine: Well, we already broke it. We broke it when we quit them, our real team.
Brain: So you're saying that quitting the All-Stars wouldn't be quitting at all. It would actually be renewing our dedication to a previous commitment.
Francine: Er, yeah. With pizza.
They run back to the Lakewood team.
***
The Lakewood team has a practice session. The players are gathered around Mr. Crosswire.
Mr. Crosswire: Pair up, everybody, this "give and go" drill is a beauty! So Coach Raggett didn't mind letting you go?
Francine: He said he loses three kids a season on average. So we were right in line with the numbers.
Brain: I also told him the computer club was going to dissolve unless I took it over again.
Mr. Crosswire: Well, kids, it just goes to show you, sometimes you quit when you win, and sometimes you win when you quit.
Francine and Brain look confused for a moment. Then they join the other players.