The Boy with His Head in the Clouds[]
Introduction[]
In his imagination, Arthur climbs up the back of Mr. Ratburn's head.
Arthur: Have you ever wondered what the inside of someone's head looked like? Not the brain part. That just looks like squishy cauliflower. But the inside of someone's mind. Let's see what's goin on in here.
He enters Mr. Ratburn's head through the ear. It looks like the inside of a factory.
Arthur: Just as I thought. It's a giant homework machine. Stuff comes in from the five senses here, then, before any information can be turned into a homework assignment, the fun has to be removed from it. This was from a trip to the museum. One of the workers puts Arthur on a conveyor belt. Ahh! Let me go! He gets zapped by the machine. I am educational. I am educational. I am educational.
Cut to the classroom.
Mr. Ratburn: And for homework this weekend, I'd also like you to write an essay on Arthur.
Class: Huh?
Mr. Ratburn: (thinks:) Arthur? Why on earth did I say that? No more double lattes for me.
Arthur: I'm never going back in there. Let's see whose mind would be cool to see next. Hey, what about George!
George's mind is filled with pretty pictures and films (most of it live-action).
Arthur: Wow! It's all pictures!
The words “thing”, “think” and “ting” appear.
George: Word alert! Cannot identify. Meltdown will commence in T-minus five seconds. Four seconds. Three seconds. Two seconds.
Everything starts shaking.
Arthur: What's going on?! It's just a simple word. What's the big deal?!
Title Card: Slot Machine: George[]
Mr. Ratburn addresses his class.
Mr. Ratburn: Okay, class. Today we’re going to work on word problems. Do all your calculations on a piece of scratch paper. George takes out pen and paper. (clears throat) “Prudence and Hope bought nine licorice lozenges for a total of twenty-seven cents.” George starts watching birds in a tree. “Chastity bought two poles of huckleberry toffee for a dime. Chastity wanted to trade a huckleberry toffee for two of Hope's licorice lozenges, but Prudence said this wasn't fair. Just then Chance stole by with a bag of ginger sours costing one penny a piece. She offered to give Chastity some to make up the difference.”
In his imagination George puts on a jetpack while Mr. Ratburn goes on talking and flies out of the window.
George: Yee-hah! Woo-hoo! Let's go! He sits down on a cloud. Ah!
Two crows sit down next to him.
Crow 1: Hey, it's George!
Crow 2: How’re you doing, George!
George: Hi, guys!
Crow 1: Word problems again?
George: Yeah.
Crow 2: What did you bring for lunch, George?
George opens his lunchbox.
George: Lutefisk.
Crows: All right!
Mr. Ratburn floats out of the cloud wearing a propeller beanie.
Mr. Ratburn: Well, George? I'm still waiting for an answer!
In reality George is still sitting at his desk.
George: Huh?! Uh...uh... He sees a “1” on Binky’s T-shirt. One?
Mr. Ratburn: That's right, George. Could you come up to the board and show us how you arrived at that answer?
George walks to the blackboard and takes a piece of chalk. He puts it down again.
George: Sorry, Mr. Ratburn. I...just...guessed.
Mr. Ratburn: George, you haven't been paying attention again! I think perhaps after school we should... The bell rings. The kids stand up. Don't forget! Read on the Renaissance in your history books for tomorrow. Now, George... George? George has gone.
***
George sits down at his desk and opens the history book. It shows pictures of Leonardo da Vinci and his flying machine.
George: Cool! He starts sketching the flying machine. No. Reading first, George! "Lone-ar-bo Day Vinki... was dorn in..." Ohh!
***
George takes the book to his dad in the workshop.
George: Dad! I have a couple of questions on this reading I have to do. Could I have some help?
Mr. Lundgren: Sure, let me see the book.
A quarter of an hour later he has read the assignment and George has built a little lift.
Mr. Lundgren: Okay. Now, what did you want to ask me?
George: Um, well. For starters, what's it about?
Mr. Lundgren: Oh!
***
Arthur, Buster and Francine are playing “No Guessing” in the treehouse.
Arthur: I win! And I didn't cheat!
Buster: We'd better check his sleeves, just in case.
George comes up.
George: Hey, guys!
Francine: Hey, George! Wanna play “No Guessing”?
George: Oh, that game. Um, I'm really not so good at trivia.
He starts climbing down again.
Buster: Come on! It's easy! Even I get some answers right!
***
Buster rolls a die.
Buster: Geography.
George takes a card.
George: (reads:) Hut is de cabular Nomain?
Francine: George, can you read?
George: Of course, I can read. What do you think I am, stupid? He leaves. I hate this game anyway. It's filled with useless facts that no one needs to know.
Buster picks up the card.
Buster: Oh. It says: “What is the capital of Norway?”
George: Oslo! The capital of Norway is Oslo!
***
George puts a box on his bed and blows some dust off it. He takes out Wally and sits down on the bed.
Wally: (gasps) You could have put some airholes in that thing. How long have I been in there? What year is it? Are you George's son? Oh, you look so much like him.
George: Wally, I need your advice. Kids are finding out how much trouble I have reading and writing and stuff.
Wally: Never cared for writing much myself. Horrible things, pencils. Have you ever seen how they're made?
George: Pay attention, Wally! No one's gonna be my friend if they think I'm dumb. What should I do?
Wally: Hm. That's a toughie. Let's pace. Well, you can't be the class clown again. Last time you did that I ended up with that four-year-old. Yech, I can still taste the lipstick! Wait, I've got it! Why don't you try being like Binky? He's not the sharpest crayon in the pack, but people really like him.
George: Yeah. I'll be tough and mean. Then, even if they think I'm dumb, they'll still respect me. Thanks, Wally.
He puts Wally back in the box.
Wally: Wait, what are you doing? Whatever happened to “I scratch your back and you don't put me in the box for a year”? Noo!
***
George talks to Binky who is leaning on the jungle gym.
Binky: So, you want to be tough, huh?
George: Yup.
Binky: Ever have any experience being tough? Pull anyone's pants down? Take their lunch money? That sort of thing?
George: No.
Binky: All right. Now, I'll see what I can do, but I'm not making any promises.
***
George sits on his bed. Binky paces in front of him.
Binky: First, you're gonna need a new name. Something that really fills kids with fear.
George: How about... Georgie?
Binky: Georgie?! That's a girl's name! He looks around the room. Hmm... you seem to like making things. We'll call you... Hammer! He walks to George’s wardrobe. Next, we have to get you the right clothes - something messy and ripped. He takes out a shirt and scissors. We can cut the sleeves off this!
George: No way! My Mom would kill me!
Binky: Well, what can we cut up? George takes out a yellow shirt with colored spots. You're not making this easy, George!
***
George crouches in the card. Binky pushes a clown punching bag over him.
Binky: Okay! Your turn!
Binky crouches. George puts the clown next to him. He tries to push it.
George: (grunts) It bounces back and knocks him over. Oh!
Binky shakes his head.
***
Binky and George stand in front of a mirror in George’s room.
Binky: Repeat after me: (growls) What you looking at, doofus?!
George: Guhh. Um...What are you looking at...doofus?
Binky: Ohh! Look what I have to work with!!
George: Oh! Look what I have to work with! Binky looks angry. What?
***
George stands in front of the house and lifts a small dumbbell with both hands.
George: Ugh, four! Ugh, five!
Binky takes the dumbbell with one hand and throws it aside.
Binky: That's enough! Let's see. We did insults, pushing, rude noises... You're almost ready for your first public appearance!
George: All right!
Binky: There's just one thing that still bothers me: you're too small. I wish there was some way we could make you bigger.
George: No problem!
***
George is wearing the yellow shirt with the sleeves cut off, sunglasses and a red cap. He has “love” and “hate” written on his antlers. He is walking with difficulty on wooden platform shoes and has to feel his way. As he walks down the street people stare at him. The music parodies the “Shaft” theme.
George: "Who's the moose that's on the loose? Hammer. - Hammer! / Five feet tall from horns to caboose. Hammer. - Hammer!"
Man: "He's tough as nails. He's real bad. He's never sad. - Hammer! / Don't mess with him."
George raises his sunglasses and winks.
***
Molly, Rattles, Binky and George lean on the jungle gym looking tough. A small girl walks by. Binky nudges George and George steps in front of the girl.
George: Gurrr! He steps in a bucket and falls on his face. Whoa! Umph! The girl runs away. What are you looking at, foodus? I mean... Ohh!
Binky shakes his head.
***
George is dressed normally again.
Binky: I'm sorry, George, but you're just too nice.
George: I know. Thanks for trying. He walks away. It's just one more thing I can't do right!
***
George writes a math problem on the blackboard.
Brain: So, if the farmer gives Jehosaphat four hen eggs for the molasses, it will have been a fair trade.
Mr. Ratburn: Very good, Alan. The bell rings. Remember, class, your five page report on the Renaissance is due next week. I suggest you start over the weekend. Oh, George. George stops at the door while the others walk out. I'd like to talk to you about this story you wrote, “The Dummy in the Closet”.
George: Let me guess - I failed.
Mr. Ratburn: No! No, it was very creative! Reminiscent of Poe, in fact. But I had a lot of trouble reading it. Have you ever been tested for dyslexia?
George: No, what's that? Is it dangerous? Am I going to die?
Mr. Ratburn: It's not a disease, George. People with dyslexia just have a hard time learning how to read and spell. But there have been many successful dyslexics. Albert Einstein, Walt Disney, even Leonardo da Vinci!
George opens his history book at the picture of da Vinci.
George: You mean this guy had this... the thing I might have?
Mr. Ratburn: Yup, and you're not the only one in the school with it either.
Mr. Haney comes in.
Mr. Haney: Oh! I thought I was going to the teachers' lounge. Well, you know me; can't tell my left from my right!
George: Me neither!
***
George has a special class with a teacher who shows him flashcards with letter combinations. / George reads a book on Leonardo da Vinci with Mr. Haney. / George visits an aeronautics exhibition with Mr. Haney. / George builds something with his dad. / George and his dad get an old car seat from the city dump.
***
On Monday Mr. Ratburn collects the reports.
Mr. Ratburn: Okay, class. Let's see those reports. He picks up Muffy's paper. “The Medicis: From Riches to Riches”. Okay. He picks up Buster's paper “U.F.O.s or Michelangelo: Who really painted the Sistine Chapel?” Hm.
Francine: Arthur, look! George didn't do his report!
George does not have a paper on his desk.
Arthur: (sighs) He probably couldn't do it because he can't read.
Francine: Poor George. I bet they're gonna send him to a special school!
Mr. Ratburn: George, your report?
George: I don't have it.
Class: (gasp)
George: I mean, I don't have it here in the classroom. It's outside.
Class: Where? What is it? Where is it?
***
The class is gathered in front of the school. Something large is covered by a blanket.
George: I didn't want to do a written report since, well, writing isn't one of my strengths. So, with principal Haney and my dad's help I built this.
He unveils a replica of one of da Vinci’s flying machines.
Class: Wow! Cool!
George: It's a flying machine based on one of Leonardo da Vinci's designs. He had ideas about how to build parachutes and submarines and all sorts of cool things. George sits in the machine. Of course, it doesn't really fly, but I can make the wings flap! He moves the wings. In his imagination he flies up to the clouds. Hey! It's moving! It works! It really works! I'm a genius! A genius!
Mr. Ratburn: George? George, did you hear what I said? You got an "A"!