What is that Thing?/Transcript

Introduction

Kids are playing and swimming in a lake.

Kids: (laughing and playing)

Arthur is swinging on a tire swing.

Arthur: You know, tires aren't just good at being...tires. They also make great swings.

He jumps into the lake and holds on to an inner tube on which Buster is lounging.

Buster: I guess inner tubes were invented for truck tires, but someone discovered they make cool rafts!

Arthur: You can find lots of uses for anything by just using your imagination.

Binky: Hey, this reed makes a cool spitball shooter!

He uses a reed to launch a spitball, which hits Arthur in the glasses and knocks him backwards into the water.

Arthur: (grunts)

Kate wipes sand on her cheeks. She is sitting with Jane, David and D.W. on a blanket under an umbrella. Arthur walks over to them.

Arthur (to the audience): Imagine a million years ago: our ancestors had to find many uses for things, just to survive!

In a fantasy, Arthur’s family is shown as cavepeople. Kate makes a picture of a horse on the cave wall.

Kate: [baby talk]

David and Jane: Oooooh!

Arthur: Whoever discovered that wood could be used to make fire was one of the greatest geniuses in all of history.

Arthur is rubbing wood together. He creates smoke, which turns into a fire.

David: Oooh! Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-oooh-oooh!

Jane: Oooh! Oooh!

D.W. puts on a stone firefighter hat and dances and points.

D.W: Ooh! Ooh! Fire drill! Fire drill!

The fantasy ends.

Arthur: How many uses can you think of for a single object?

D.W: I know what a big brother can be used as!

Arthur: What?

Binky jumps down from the tire swing into the lake.

Binky: Cannonbaaaall! (laughs)

He splashes Arthur. D.W. uses Arthur to shield herself.

D.W.: An umbrella!

She walks away.

Arthur: D.W.!

Title Card: Brain Underwater

In the Reads’ kitchen, Arthur grabs a carton of milk from the fridge and pours himself a glass.

D.W.: Who invented the refrigerator magnet?

Arthur: I don't know.

He grabs a doughnut from a plate of them on the table and eats it.

D.W.: Who invented the doughnut? And who invented the doughnut hole?

Arthur: I don't know!

D.W. grabs a doughnut and looks through the hole.

D.W.: Well, you would if you took me to Mr. Ratburn's puppet show today. It's all about inventors.

She takes a bite of the doughnut.

Arthur: Get Mom to take you.

He sips from his milk. D.W. looks annoyed.

***

Jane and David are working at the dining room table.

Jane: Sorry, Arthur, it's our day for paying bills. Why don't you go? It could be interesting.

David: Yeah, and it's free. We spent way too much on movies last month.

He types on an adding machine.

D.W.: Who invented the movie? Who invented a month?

Arthur: Okay, okay, I'll go. Just stop asking me stupid questions! Maybe Buster can come along.

***

Buster and Arthur talk on the phone. Buster has a notebook and pencil.

Buster: Sorry, Arthur, I'm entering that “Idea for a Bionic Bunny Story” Contest, but I can't think of anything! It's all been done before.

Arthur: How about an episode where Bionic Bunny fights a giant mechanical guppy?

Buster: Hey, that's a great idea!

Arthur: Actually, that's the one I used. But I'm glad you liked it!

Buster: See? All the good ideas have been taken. Aw, it's hopeless! I'll never think of anything!

***

At Francine’s apartment, Arthur is drinking a glass of lemonade. Francine is stroking Nemo.

Francine: I can't go. I have to take care of Nemo. He's afraid of water.

Arthur: Since when?

Francine: Since I read “20,000 Leagues under the Sea” to him. I thought he'd like to hear about Captain Nemo, who he's named after. But now he thinks all water has giant squids in it. Watch.

She puts Nemo down on the floor and pulls a bowl of water up to him. Nemo’s eyes bulge in fright.

Nemo: Meow!

He jumps onto Arthur’s head.

Arthur: Cat on my head, cat on my head, cat on my head, cat on my head!

He gets up and runs around, with Nemo grasping onto his head.

Arthur: Ow, ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow!

Francine: (sighs) Poor Nemo. Sorry, Arthur, but I can't go. I could never enjoy myself unless my cat is ecstatically happy.

She yanks Nemo off of Arthur’s head. He rubs it a few times.

Arthur: Well, have you tried...

Francine: I’ve tried everything, Arthur. There's no solution! If there was one, I would have found it.

Outside Muffy’s house, Muffy is on her knees, shining a flashlight into a storm drain. Arthur walks up to her.

Arthur: Muffy! Just the person I wanted to see! Mr. Ratburn's puppet show is this afternoon, and I was wondering if...

Muffy: Can't, Arthur. My new anteater doll has fallen down the drain.

Down the drain sits an anteater doll.

Arnie (the anteater doll): Pull my nose!

Muffy: He has a vocabulary of 5,000 words and all I’ve heard are those three!

Arthur: Well, maybe you could...

Muffy: I’ve tried everything. I even called the fire department, but they refuse to rescue dolls. (sighs) All I can do is hope for a miracle.

***

In Brain’s yard, Brain is taking apart a model airplane.

Brain: Sorry, Arthur, the remote control airplane I just got is missing a wheel, and I was...

Arthur: Let me guess: there's nothing you can do to fix it, so you're gonna sit at home and mope.

Brain: No, I'm gonna take it apart, send it back to the company, THEN I'm gonna sit at home and mope.

***

Arthur walks down the sidewalk. He kicks a pebble a couple of times.

Arthur: I guess there's no getting out of it. It's just gonna be me and D.W.

He notices a spool of thread on the sidewalk.

Arthur: Hey, what is that thing?

He picks it up.

Arthur: Maybe it's a yo-yo for leprechauns!

He imagines a mushroom house. Inside are three dancing leprechauns, one playing a fiddle, one playing panpipes, and the other playing with the spool like it’s a yo-yo.

Leprechaun (with the “yo-yo”): Oh, this is fun! Look, I'm walking the bug!

Leprechaun (with the fiddle): Oh, this sure beats me sellin’ shoes!

Arthur: Or a part of a robot!

He imagines a scientist in a laboratory, playing tic-tac-toe with a robot. The scientist draws an “x.” The robot is holding an ice cream cone, which it smushes into the side of its head.

Scientist: Huh?!

The scientist opens up a small door in the back of the robot’s head. Inside are cobwebs and a single nail.

Scientist: Oh no, Bob's brain is missing!

Arthur: Or maybe it's the pet of a bigger metal thingy!

Arthur stops outside his house.

D.W.: Let me see, let me see!

Arthur: Don't touch it. it's mine! I found it!

D.W.: I wanna see it!

They fight for the spool. It falls out of Arthur’s hand.

Arthur: (grunts)

The spool bounces away down the sidewalk.

Arthur: Thanks. Now neither of us can play with it. You better start getting ready. The show's in half an hour.

They start walking towards the house.

***

The spool bounces down a slope in the road as the Tibble twins watch from the sidewalk. It bounces off of a street sign, and then bounces off of a mattress on the back of a truck, and flies away.

***

Brain removes the propeller from his model plane.

Brain: That's the last time I let my father help me build anything!

Mr. Powers is working on the car in the driveway. He looks at his wrench, and scratches his head.

Mr. Powers: Hmm.

The spool of thread lands in front of Brain.

Brain: What is that thing?

He picks it up.

Brain: Looks kind of like a little wheel.

He looks up at the sky.

Brain: Maybe it came from someone else's model airplane.

He looks at his plane.

Brain: I wonder...

***

Shortly afterwards Brain is flying the model airplane. The spool of thread is in place of the missing wheel.

Brain: Woo-wee!

Buster comes to the other side of the fence.

Buster: Hey, Brain, can you help me come up with a new villain that the Bionic Bunny could fight?

Brain: Hmm, let's see... Squids have been done, turtles have been done... How about a--DUCK!

Buster: Nope, episode number 2436: “The Mean Mallard Master.”

Brain: No, Buster; DUCK!

Buster ducks and the plane narrowly misses his head. Brain fiddles with the remote control. The plane clips a chimney, and the spool falls off.

Brain: Oh no! My third wheel! How am I going to land this thing? I need that wheel!

***

At the Frenskys’ apartment, Francine is sitting on her bed, reading. Nemo is with her.

Francine: (humming)

Catherine walks by the door, on her way to take a bath. The sound of running water is heard. Nemo opens his eyes and stands up, looking afraid.

Nemo: Meow!

He runs into the kitchen, where Laverne is washing dishes. Francine chases after him.

Nemo: Meow!

Francine: It's all right, Nemo!

Nemo: Meow!

Nemo stops and stares at the running water in the sink.

Nemo: Meow! Meow!

He runs out of the kitchen. Francine runs after him.

Oliver is sitting on the couch, watching TV.

Commentator: Phenomenal tube control by Dwayne Lutz! Here's a surfer who can really handle this Hawaiian nine-footer!

Nemo stares at the TV screen, as a surfer is shown riding a towering wave.

Nemo: Meow!

He faints.

***

Francine carries Nemo out of the apartment building.

Francine: Poor little guy! If only there was something I could do.

Nemo stares at the spool of thread, which is dangling from a tree.

Francine: What are you looking at? You look hypnotized.

She notices the spool.

Francine: What is that thing?

She swings the spool side to side in front of Nemo. His eyes follow it.

Francine: You are not afraid of water...water is your friend...you love water...

Nemo’s eyes swirl. Francine waves her hand in front of him. The swirling stops, but he continues to stare.

Francine: It works! It must be a professional cat hypnotizer!

She puts the spool down on the ground and puts her hand on Nemo’s head.

Francine: Now when I clap my hands, I want you to...

A bird swoops down and picks up the spool. It flies away with it. Francine chases after the bird.

Francine: Hey, come back with my cat hypnotizer! I may need it again!

***

Brain and Francine walk down the sidewalk towards each other, both looking for the spool. They almost bump into each other.

Brain: Francine.

Francine: Ah!

Brain: Have you seen the wheel of a remote control model biplane?

Francine: No. Have you seen a bird with a cat hypnotizer?

Brain: Uh, no.

They both walk on.

***

Muffy is sitting sadly by the storm drain.

Arnie: Pull my nose!

Muffy: If only I could, Arnie. If only I could! (sighs)

A bird tweets and a moment later the spool falls on Muffy’s head.

Muffy: Ow!

She massages her head, and looks up at the bird as it flies away.

Muffy: Birds are so rude! What is that thing?

She picks up the spool.

Muffy: Looks like a tiny fishing reel or something.

She smiles, and calls down into the drain.

Muffy: Hold on, Arnie! I'm sending down a rope!

Arnie: Pull my nose!

Muffy: Now, if I just remember that slip knot Daddy taught me on the boat.

She makes a loop with the thread, and sends it down the drain. It hooks onto Arnie’s nose. Muffy gives the thread a few tugs.

Arnie: He, he, he, that tickles! I like you! Want to sing the alphabet?

Muffy pulls up the thread.

Arnie: A, B, C, D, E, F, G...

Arnie emerges from the drain. Muffy removes the thread from Arnie’s nose and picks the doll up.

Muffy: You're safe, Arnie! Boy, was I lucky to find that...that... doll rescue rope.

She hugs Arnie.

Muffy: Just when I needed it!

The spool rolls away.

Muffy: (gasps) Oh no, my doll rope!

She runs after the spool.

***

Buster is walking down the sidewalk. A dried-up leaf falls in front of him. He picks it up.

Buster: Hmm. Bionic Bunny vs. the Giant Dead Leaf. That hasn't been done before. Probably because it's really dumb!

He crushes the leaf. The spool rolls up to his foot.

Buster: Weird. what is that thing?

He picks up the spool. Francine walks up to him, followed by Muffy.

Francine: It's a cat hypnotizer, and it's mine!

Muffy: No, it isn't. it's a doll rope, and it belongs to me!

Arnie: I like to share!

Muffy: Shhh!

Brain comes running, following his plane.

Brain: It isn't a doll rope. it's a biplane wheel, and I need it to land my plane! Without it, the plane will crash!

Francine: How on earth do you expect to land your plane with my cat hypnotizer?

Brain: I calculated that if I land the plane on top of the wheel at just the right angle, it will safely snap the wheel back into place. See?

He holds up a paper with a formula written on it.

Brain: And by the way, there's no such thing as a cat hypnotizer.

Francine: And why not? There are pet psychiatrists, aren't there? Why not pet hypnotizers?

Muffy: You're both crazy! I know for a fact that it's a doll rope because I just saved my doll with it!

Brain: That was just a coincidence! It's obviously a biplane wheel. Give it to me!

Francine: It's my cat hypnotizer!

Muffy: No, my doll rope!

Mr. Ratburn: Actually, it's a bobbin, and it's mine!

Mr. Ratburn pulls up on a bicycle.

Brain, Francine and Muffy: Huh?

Mr. Ratburn nods.

Francine: Aren’t you supposed to be giving a puppet show right now, Mr. Ratburn?

Mr. Ratburn: I had to postpone it to search for that. How could I start without my bobbin?

Buster gives him the bobbin.

Buster: But, what's a bobbin?

Mr. Ratburn: Come to the show and find out.

He puts the bobbin in his pocket.

Mr. Ratburn: It'll start in a few minutes. See you there!

He rides off. Everyone stares as the plane comes flying in really low.

Muffy: (yells)

Brain presses a button on his remote control. The plane crashes into the ground.

Francine: Oh, no! Your plane!

The plane lies broken on the ground. Steam comes out of it.

Brain: Sometimes in life, things end in tragedy. This is one of those times.

He gives a salute. Francine, Muffy and Buster salute as well.

Buster: We’ve gotta get to the show!

***

At the library, Arthur, D.W., Francine, Buster, Muffy, Fern, George, Alex, Brain, Jenna, Sue Ellen and Binky sit watching Mr. Ratburn’s puppet show.

Puppet (voiced by Mr. Ratburn): Elias Howe, what are you up to? It's been days since you've been seen!

Elias Howe Puppet (voiced by Mr. Ratburn): That's because I’ve been hard at work, inventing the sewing machine!

A sewing machine is lowered down between the two puppets. The Elias Howe puppet shows off parts of the machine.

Elias Howe Puppet: A dry wheel, a feed dog, and a bobbin are all parts of this wonderful invention!

Puppet: Oh, Elias, this machine is beyond compare!

Elias Howe Puppet: You betchya! Look how fast it makes underwear!

He “throws” a pair of undershorts out at the audience.

Muffy, Buster and Francine: (laughing)

***

Buster, Francine, Brain and Muffy are waiting the library. Arthur and D.W. come out.

Arthur: Hey, I thought you guys were all too busy to come! How did you solve all those unsolvable problems?

Muffy: Well, I guess they weren't unsolvable. We just stopped trying.

Buster: Maybe there's something to be learned from all this.

Pause.

Francine, Brain and Muffy: Nah!

Muffy: Hey, Francine, did the bobbin really work as a cat hypnotizer?

Francine: I don't know.

Cut to the Frenskys’, where Catherine walks into the bathroom.

Catherine: (shrieks)

Nemo is playing with a toy mouse and submarine in the bath water.

Nemo: (meows happily)

Back at the library.

Arthur: You know, Buster, you're the only one who the bobbin didn't help.

Buster: I wouldn't be so sure about that...

***

On “The Bionic Bunny Show”, Bionic Bunny sees a giant bobbin, with a big nose. The end of the thread is waving around.

Bionic Bunny: What is that thing? Whatever it is, it's hypnotizing cats all over the city!

Cats are walking on their hind legs, in a trance like state.

Cats: (Meowing)

A kid runs up and pulls on Bionic Bunny’s cape.

Kid: That's a bobbin, Bionic Bunny! Quick, pull its nose before the cats take over the city!

Bionic Bunny walks up to the bobbin. He grabs onto the nose. The thread twists around Bionic Bunny and ties him up.

Bionic Bunny: (struggling)

The “kid” removes what turns out to be a mask, revealing that he is actually Elias Howe.

Bionic Bunny:(gasps) Elias Howe!

Elias Howe: Now I can conquer the world! (laughs evilly)

TV Announcer: Tune in next week for Part 2: Bionic Bunny vs. Elias Howe! Written by Buster Baxter.